


Takahiro Finds Out More

by CheyanneChika



Series: Takahiro Finds Out [2]
Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Body Dysphoria, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Discussion of Abortion, Dubious Science, M/M, Making Choices for the Wrong Reasons, Minor Miyagi Yoh/Takatsuki Shinobu, Mpreg, Sequel, Soooo much Body Dysphoria, major editing, this fic is old as balls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:06:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 46,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24974299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheyanneChika/pseuds/CheyanneChika
Summary: Sequel to Takahiro Finds Out where we explore that lovely mpreg twist.
Relationships: Kajiwara Manami & Takahashi Misaki, Kamijou Hiroki/Kusama Nowaki, Takahashi Misaki & Everyone, Takahashi Misaki & Takahashi Takahiro, Takahashi Misaki/Usami Akihiko, Takahashi Takahiro & Usami Akihiko
Series: Takahiro Finds Out [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/927585
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	Takahiro Finds Out More

**Author's Note:**

> Just FYI I wrote this from 2010 to 2018. The last five years of that were after I'd left the fandom and essentially abandoned the project so the ending is...quick. Also, I was a lot more crass, and less self-aware, and wrote with far less forethought about how people would take my writing. I've done some editing. I also have taken out 20k words of author's notes. This could get dicey but peeps are asking for it so...here. 
> 
> Major warnings: Discussions of abortion, scifi levels of hermaphrodite stuff (I started writing this before A/B/O existied), handwavey science to make men have babies in a pseudo-scientific fashion, Body Dysphoria and issues dealing with it...I'm triggering myself rereading aspects of it being that, at the time of writing, I was unaware of my own issues with identity, and references to postpartum depression.
> 
> Just...have mercy on me because I'm reading this to do edits and it's like an entirely different person wrote this...
> 
> If you want to read the original with five billion author's notes where I argue with the characters and terrible grammar, it's over on ff.net under the same username.

**Chapter One**

"You wanna run that by me again?" Misaki asked, delicately.

"You are pregnant, Misaki-kun." Nowaki had told people they were pregnant, dying, crazy or just fine, but none of that had ever made him this uncomfortable. He looked at Usami-san, who was staring openly at him before looking back at Misaki.

"How?" the boy asked finally.

"I have no idea," Nowaki replied, dropping the formal doctor lingo in his non-subsiding shock. He got it back though and continued, "That would require some physical examination which I am very tentative to do since it would, in all likely hood, damage the fetus and your body in the process."

"Don't you dare," Usagi snapped, coming out of his own shock. He wrapped his arms protectively around the nineteen year old.

Nowaki nodded slightly and said, "Misaki-chan, what would you like to do?"

"Wh-what do you mean?" Misaki's mind had pretty much stopped working.

"Well, like all people who are carrying a child, you have options. You can have the child removed while it is still in the early stages of growth, at which point the hospital can test you to see why you got pregnant. Or, you can carry it to term and we can test you after."

Misaki sat there for a moment, trying to make his brain work properly. It wasn't happening though. "Can I think about it?" he asked.

"Of course, take a few days. Don't wait too long though to decide." He turned to Usagi. "He's free to go whenever you two are ready. Unless you would rather stay, Misaki." Misaki shook his head. He wanted to go home, now. Nowaki nodded and left. He stared at the wall opposite, letting the shock sink in. He didn't get it. How had the boy gotten pregnant? The only possibility was that the boy had female parts internally, and male externally, but that was pretty rare, and he'd never heard of a case where one of them had gotten pregnant. It was just abnormal. Poor Misaki-chan…

…

"Misaki, I—"

"I can't think about it right now. Can we just go home?"

Usagi examined Misaki's totally numb expression and nodded. "Okay. I love you, Misaki."

Misaki just nodded, and stared out into space.

The trip home was silent. Usagi wanted to strike up a conversation for the sake of relieving the tension, but didn't. He just watched his lover out of the corner of his eye. Misaki was staring out the window at nothing in particular. At one point, he was sure he saw Misaki's eyes flick downward, towards his stomach but it wasn't more than a half second before he was back to staring at the lights of Tokyo.

At home, Misaki said, "I'll make some dinner for you." He started for the kitchen.

"That's not necessary," Usagi replied, watching Misaki's back.

"Yes it is." Misaki tugged on an apron and grabbed a couple of pots from the cupboard.

"Misaki, really—"

Misaki slammed the pots down on the stove. "Yes it is!" he snapped, spinning to face the older man. Usagi stared, the boy looked on the verge of tears. "Just…just let me do it. Let me do something normal, something that isn't related to this weird thing in my body!"

Usagi flinched. He didn't want Misaki to think of their child as a 'weird thing.' But he let it go for the moment. "Fine. Then I would like octopus weenies and miso soup."

"Okay." Misaki went to the fridge. The rise Usagi had been hoping he could get out of the other man fell flat. He sighed and grasped the boy firmly, sliding a hand up his shirt. Misaki yelped and tried to scramble away. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What I usually do. You said you wanted to do what was normal."

"Attacking someone is not normal!" he yelled.

"It is in this place." Usagi kissed Misaki's cheek and dragged his lips all the way down to his collar bone, then licking the flesh there with vigor. "I love you, Misaki."

Misaki stood still for a moment while his lover ran his hands all over his flesh. He stopped trying to think about the thing inside him and what it would mean for him, for them, and focused completely on Usagi-san's expert touch. "I love you too," he whispered as he and Usagi slid to the floor.

**...**

**Chapter Two**

Misaki did not sleep through the night. He was up two or three times to throw up. Usagi got up each time, and held his hair while the boy was sick. And each time, he helped Misaki get cleaned up and back into bed.

It was now morning and Misaki hadn't even left the bathroom yet. He had been reduced to sitting on the floor, just waiting for the nausea to sweep over him again. He hated this. Why the hell did he have to be pregnant? How could this even be possible?

He felt yet another rush of bile and leaned down once more. God, he wanted this to end. He didn't want a kid.

Well, that wasn't quite true, but he sure as hell didn't want to be the one carrying it. He couldn't handle this pain…it felt like he was being destroyed from the inside out.

Usagi-san came in to check on him. "How are you doing?" he asked.

"Horrible," Misaki replied, in too much pain to lie for Usagi-san's sake.

"I'm sorry," Usagi said sincerely.

"It's not your fault…" Misaki trailed off, freezing. "Wait a second, this is your fault…yours entirely!"

Usagi nodded gravely. "And I will take responsibility for it. I won't leave you, and I will help to raise this child." He knelt beside Misaki and pressed a hand gently to the boy's stomach.

Misaki smacked it away and scrambled to his feet, his heart pounding. Usagi stayed where he was.

"Misaki? What is it?"

"What if…what if I don't want it?"

Usagi stared up into his lover's eyes. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I don't think I want it." Misaki shut his eyes so he wouldn't have to see Usagi's pained expression.

"Misaki…I…if you don't want it, that is entirely your decision. I will support any decision you make." He reached out and embraced the boy around his waist. "But I would love for you to bear our child. I'm not very good with kids, but you are, and this may be our only chance to have one. Please be certain before you destroy that future." Usagi then pressed a kiss to Misaki's stomach. "I love you."

Usagi felt something damp hit his forehead. He looked up to see Misaki was crying silently. He stood and pressed another kiss to Misaki's forehead. "Come to bed, I'll bring my laptop so I can stay with you." Misaki nodded, still crying, and allowed himself to be led back to the bedroom. He lay down and Usagi covered him with a blanket, giving him another kiss, before retreating to get his computer.

Misaki rolled onto his side and stared off into space. Usagi wanted him to keep the thing growing inside him. He would love it and cherish it. But Misaki...didn't know if he could love it. It was something unnatural. It made no sense, and it was making him hurt like nothing he'd ever felt. He felt that this pain was punishment for being a man and bearing another man's child. It was a dark thought, but there it was, hovering in his brain, making it impossible for him to consider the thing good.

And that feeling was what was killing him inside.

Usagi leaned against a wall in defeat. He and Misaki had created another life through some sort of strange miracle, but Misaki thought it was a curse. Akihiko sighed. He would let Misaki get rid of their child if that was what he truly wanted, but he was going to give that life a good defense.

The strange thing was that he had never even thought of having kids. He'd been in love with a man ever since high school. He knew that men could not have children so he'd never given children of any kind much thought.

He shoved off the wall and went to get his laptop. Misaki was waiting for him.

When he returned to the bedroom, Misaki was already in a doze. Usagi sat beside him and ran a hand through his hair. The boy was so tired that he didn't wake. Usagi leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you," he whispered. "Both of you."

Misaki cringed, as if he'd heard Usagi, but he was still asleep. Akihiko sighed, and pulled away, opening his laptop. He began to type softly, listening to his lover's rhythmic breathing as he began to write a new story of love and the hardships of having an unborn child that the mother did not want.

**...**

**Chapter Three**

Misaki woke up around mid afternoon. Usagi-san sat beside him on the bed, typing with the computer in his lap. Misaki watched him. He honestly loved to watch Usagi-san work seriously. He looked intense and focused and Misaki liked to see that kind of intensity when it wasn't focused on screwing Misaki.

Usagi-san paused in his work and Misaki hastily closed his eyes, pretending to still be asleep. He felt Usagi's hand ruffle his hair and brush over his ear, before it slid down his cheek and neck. He heard Usagi sigh and take his hand away. The sound of typing returned and Misaki opened his eyes just a little, peering at his lover through his eyelashes. Usagi-san was not two inches from Misaki's face.

Misaki's eyes flew open in shock and he shot back several inches.

"I knew you were awake," Usagi said lightly. He pulled back. "Why were you pretending to be asleep?"

Misaki shoved himself up and rubbed his head. "Ugh," he said, swaying slightly. "No reason."

"How are you feeling?"

"Nn, better than this morning."

Usagi smiled. "That's good."

"Yeah."

"Are you hungry?"

Misaki considered it. He was hungry but he didn't want Usagi to burn down the house trying to make him something. "I'm hungry, but I can make something myself." He slid out of bed, his stomach spasming. He clutched it and looked down. "Nng."

"Misaki!" Usagi-san set down his computer and moved to the other side of the bed. He wrapped his arms around Misaki's shaking shoulders.

"I'm alright," Misaki gasped. "Stupid thing is making me sick."

Usagi-san flinched. "It's not stupid. It's a child." He finally snapped. "Our child!"

Now it was Misaki's turn to flinch. Guilt seeped through him. "Usagi-san, I…I," he trailed off for a moment before bursting into tears. "I don't know what to do anymore!" He spun, wrapping his arms around Usagi-san's neck and sobbed into his shirt. "I can't have a kid…I can't do anything. All I can do is cook and clean and barely pass English. I'm already taking care of you, I can't take care of a baby."

Usagi held his little lover tight, letting him sob until he had no tears left. Misaki's knees buckled until he was being held up only by Usagi-san's embrace.

"Misaki, you can do anything you put your mind to. I know you can look after me, you can look after a child. Please, Misaki, give this a chance. I know we can make this work. I can give him or her whatever they need. I can give you whatever you need too. So please, please have our baby."

Misaki looked into Usagi-san's eyes. They were clear and serious. His smirk was gone. Misaki's mouth worked for a moment. His eyes filled with water again and he caved. He nodded, even as tears created fresh streaks across his face.

"Yes," he whispered softly. "Yes, I will."

Usagi-san smiled. "Thank you."

Misaki stood in his lover's arms for a few more moments before he laughed awkwardly and shoved out of his grasp. "I have to make dinner."

"I'm in the mood for Misaki tonight." There was that familiar smirk.

"Dumbass, go away."

"In a sec." He spun Misaki around and kissed him hard.

"Get off," Misaki snapped when Usagi-san released him. He retreated to the living room…for the moment.

Misaki sighed and started cooking.

...

**Chapter Four**

_Three days later…_

Nowaki had been waiting, only kind of patiently, for Misaki-chan to call and tell him what his decision was. He knew Misaki wanted was confused—not that he wasn't either—but he needed to know what Misaki was going to do.

Hiroki popped into his lover's office and saw Nowaki watching the phone pensively. "What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing." He shook himself. He hadn't told Hiroki about the boy's pregnancy, but it had been really hard lately.

"Fine, don't tell me."

Nowaki caved. He needed to tell someone. "A boy, a boy involved with another man, came in a few days ago with nausea and abdominal pain. Somehow, he's pregnant."

Hiroki's eyes bugged the hell out. "Male pregnancy?" he choked out.

Nowaki nodded. "It's possible that he suffers from a rare strain of hermaphroditic genetic mutations, but it just seems impossible. How can this be real?"

"I don't know. You're sure it's not a mistake?"

"Positive. I checked multiple times."

Hiroki struggled for the right words and then gave up. "That's weird...what does that have to do with your staring vacantly at the phone?"

"I'm waiting for that boy to call me to let me know his decision of whether he was going to keep the baby or not."

"He's thinking of getting rid of it?"

"Yes."

There was a very long pause in which Hiroki's face got progressively redder before he looked away and muttered, "If I had that chance, I would keep it."

A surprised smile broke across Nowaki's face. "Really?"

Hiroki blushed and looked down. "Of course, dumbass."

Nowaki embraced the older man hard. "I love you, Hiro-san."

"Yeah yeah. Now get off me."

…

Misaki stared pointedly at the floor. Usagi-san had pointed out that since he was going to keep the baby, he had to tell his brother.

Now he was waiting for him to come over. He was so not ready for this.

Usagi-san sat beside him on the couch, his arm slung around the boy's shoulders. His other hand rested on Misaki's stomach.

And they waited.

…

"Manami, I'm going over to Akihiko's house now," Takahiro said, kissing his wife and son cheerfully. "He said that he and Misaki needed to tell me something important. I wonder what it could be."

"Maybe they're going to tell you that they're getting married."

Takahiro's eyes bugged out. "Please don't say things like that." He laughed awkwardly. He shuddered slightly. That was the last thing he needed. "I'll be back soon."

"Bye, sweetie."

"Bye bye, dada."

Takahiro smiled and left.

He rang his best friend's doorbell and waited patiently for Usagi to open the door. Misaki opened it instead. "Hi, Nii-chan."

"Ahhh, Misaki, you're positively glowing!" Takahiro glomped him. "You're extra cute today!"

"Bro, get off, you're hurting me." Takahiro released him and Misaki rested a hand lightly on his stomach. Takahiro frowned. Had he squeezed his little brother that hard? Had he hurt him? He started to panic. "Misaki! Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"No." Misaki gave his brother a big smile. "I'm fine, really."

"Oh good," he replied, mellowing out. He slipped off his shoes and hung up his coat and Misaki led him to the living room.

"Do you want some coffee?" the boy asked.

"Yes please."

Misaki nodded and went into the kitchen. At the same time, Usagi came out of his office and came downstairs. "Hey, Takahiro, how are you?"

"I'm great."

"How's your wife and kid?"

"Fantastic!" He launched into a story about his son somehow getting on top of the table and started shaking the china salt and pepper shakers. He had Usagi chuckling lightly when Misaki came back into the room with three cups of coffee, a sugar bowl and creamer. "So what is it that you wanted to talk about?" he asked, taking a cup.

"Well," Misaki paused. "I…I'm…" he stopped, unable to say anymore. Usagi took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Misaki took a deep, slow breath. "I'm pregnant."

Takahiro continued to stare at the two placidly for a moment. Then he slumped and fell sideways, passing out cold right there on the couch.

Usagi and Misaki looked at each other. "That went well," Usagi said easily.

"Ass," Misaki snapped. He whacked him on the shoulder and shot up to see to his brother.

**...**

**Chapter Five**

Takahiro opened his eyes to see his wife and son staring at him. He sat up and a blanket pooled at his waist. He looked around. He was still on the couch at Akihiko's apartment, but Akihiko and Misaki were both missing. "Where—" he started.

"Misaki-kun started feeling really sick. Usami-san called me to come over and watch you while he took Misaki-kun to the hospital."

"Did he tell you what was wrong with Misaki?"

"Mmhmm, morning sickness in the afternoons. But I guess it must have been worse than usual, to merit a hospital visit."

Takahiro's eyes bugged. "And you aren't shocked."

"I am, but I don't feel the need to pass out."

"But Manami—"

"Sweetie, I know you have a hard time with things like this. Don't worry about it."

"Daddy gonna be a old uncle?" Mahiro asked.

"Oi, don't say things like that. I'm not old." Takahiro picked up his son and kissed his forehead. "Well, I guess we should go check on Misaki."

Manami nodded. "Let's go."

…

Misaki was pissed. His stomach was aching, he kept vomiting and he wasn't even sick. It sucked. Stupid pregnancy.

Nowaki was smiling slightly. He was glad Misaki had chosen to keep the baby. "Well, we can do an ultrasound to make sure nothing's wrong but keep in mind, you are, it seems, a man for the most part. This is more stress than your body was designed to handle."

Misaki rolled his eyes. And then his stomach rolled. Nowaki caught the look and stuck a bed pan into his lap just in time. Usagi held the boy's hair out of his face with one hand and patted his back with the other.

"Better?" Nowaki asked.

Misaki nodded. His stomach feeling so weird as when he had come in. Usagi wrapped an arm protectively around his shoulders and he leaned into it, welcoming the support simply because he was too weak to think of a reason not to.

A knock sounded at the door. "Yes?" Nowaki called, swiftly removing the bed pan and stashing under a counter. The door opened to reveal Takahiro, Manami and Mahiro. The boy waved happily. "Miki!" he yelled.

"Mahiro-chan!" Misaki said with fake cheer.

"Hi, Misaki-kun," Manami said with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, thanks for stopping by the apartment to get my brother."

"Misakiiiii," Takahiro moaned, practically crying. "Don't be so mean to your big brother!"

Misaki rolled his eyes and looked back at Usagi-san.

Usagi just smirked.

Misaki sighed and gave up. His stomach gurgled slightly but he didn't feel the need to throw up though. A small blessing. He looked down at his stomach. It rippled a little internally and Misaki got the impression that the thing—baby, was rolling over. He sighed again. He was considering that being in this situation was more trouble than it was worth.

"Misaki," Takahiro murmured. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine," he lied. He didn't need his brother offering his opinions on his pregnancy. His mind was so muddled that he couldn't make his own decisions. His brother's input would just make him even more confused.

Takahiro was fairly certain his brother was lying, but he left it alone. Instead, he regressed to his usual tactless self and asked, "So, are you going to keep the baby?"

Misaki's stomach rippled. "I think so." Misaki still wasn't really sure. He knew Usagi-san wanted him to keep it. He knew that Usagi-san would probably never forgive him if he gave it up. He couldn't lose Usagi-san. He just couldn't.

"Misaki, we picked up a new manga volume for you. Takahiro said it was your favorite." Manami changed the subject and reached into her purse and held out the latest volume of _The Kan_.

"Whoa, thanks you!" Misaki's face glowed and he took the book. Usagi looked mildly livid but let it go for the moment. He would take anything that made Misaki happy at this point.

"Well, Misaki-kun, you're free to go. I'm prescribing you some safer painkillers to help with your cramps, pain and nausea."

"Thanks." He let Usagi-san help him off the bed. He slipped on his shoes, took a step forward and staggered. Usagi caught him. "Misaki, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." His feet steadied and he stood upright. "Thanks."

"Uh huh."

"Well, let's go home. Takahiro, Manami-san? Would you like to come over for a drink?"

"Um, no, Mahiro needs a nap, and I think Misaki needs one to," Manami replied over Misaki's wide yawn.

"Possibly, yes. See you later."

"Bye."

"Buh bye," Mahiro yawned as well, nearly falling asleep in his mother's arms. They left first.

So they missed Misaki taking all of three steps with Usagi-san before he fell forward coughing up blood.

**...**

**Chapter Six**

"Misaki!" Usagi yelled, reaching out automatically to catch the young man. "Misaki!"

"Misaki-kun!" Nowaki said at the same time.

Misaki ignored both of them as blood spattered from his lips onto the floor. Pain ripped through his body, mainly from his stomach. He was choking.

"Misaki, what's happened? What is this?" Usagi asked desperately.

"Usami-san, you can't be in here." Nurses appeared from nowhere, it seemed, to drag Usagi from the hospital room. "Misaki, I need you to stay awake and keep breathing as best you can. Try not to get any blood in your lungs. Can you do that for me?"

Misaki bobbed his head, coughing harder. Blood spurted onto Nowaki's lab coat and scrubs. He ignored it, helping Misaki back onto the hospital bed. Nowaki yelled, "I need O neg!” before focusing back on Misaki.

"Alright, Misaki-kun, I need you to take a couple of deep breaths through your nose. Try not to cough."

Misaki clamped his mouth shut and inhaled. Blood pooled in his mouth. He exhaled and opened his mouth, letting blood pour out. Misaki's eyes ran with tears. He shut his mouth and inhaled again. "Usagi-san," he whispered as he exhaled. The blood stopped flowing from his mouth. A sigh of relief went up.

"I'll go make sure he doesn't get arrested. The nurses are going to hook you up to an IV and start a blood drip, okay?" At Misaki's nod, he went on, "If more blood comes up, just try to breathe through it. I'll go downstairs and be back in a bit. Do you want me to bring him back up here?"

Misaki hesitated, then nodded. He wanted Usagi. "Okay, but while I'm down there, we also need to do an ultrasound." Misaki looked confused and he elaborated, "An x-ray that won't hurt a baby. We need to determine if it's still alive."

The little color left in Misaki's face drained away.

…

In the lobby, three male nurses and a doctor were holding Usagi tightly. "Misaki!" he yelled. "Misaki! MISAKI!"

"Be quiet, please, you're disturbing everyone."

"I don't care. Let me go."

"Sir, you are making a scene. Please be quiet."

"I will when I see Misaki. Please, he has to be alright. Let me go." He got one wrist free and shoved the doctor and one of the nurses away.

Unfortunately, hospital security chose that moment to show themselves. They all came and grabbed Usagi. "Is he a patient?" one asked, reaching for a hypodermic needle all the security kept in case of an emergency.

"No. Just get him out of here."

"No, Misaki! Please, Misaki!" Usagi had totally and completely lost it. He was desperate and he needed his Misaki. He was actually starting to panic. "All that blood. Misaki!" His mind was starting to slip.

"Usami-san," Nowaki said sharply, coming out of the elevator. "Control yourself."

Usagi looked pissed. "No. Where's Misaki."

"He's upstairs. The blood flow has stopped and he's now getting an IV drip."

Usagi's eyes snapped from fear to relief then right back to fear. "The baby…" he whispered. "Is it?"

"We have to wait for an ultrasound," Nowaki said calmly. "If you can control yourself, you can come back upstairs and see Misaki-kun."

Usagi's mouth worked, but then he took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm calm, but tell me what's gone wrong?"

Nowaki looked surprised at the sudden calm focused look on Usami-san's face. "Not here, come on." He turned back and led him back to the elevator, once inside, he turned to the other man. "Misaki-kun is, quite possibly, rejecting the baby. He is, at least externally speaking, male. His body may be unable to cope with bringing a child to fruition and is trying to protect itself. We are working to stop that, but the blood has subsided and hopefully the embryo will be alright."

Usagi gritted his teeth and nodded, hoping that his lover and their baby would be alright.

...

By the time they got back upstairs, Misaki was still in his room with an IV in his arm stemming from a bag of blood. He smiled shakily at the sight of Usagi-san. Usagi ran to him and took his hand. "Misaki, how are you feeling?"

"Okay," Misaki murmured. His hand was cold and shaking in Usagi's though, which gave away the lie. Usagi tightened his grip and tried to smile reassuringly. It failed when Misaki coughed a bit. Usagi checked the boy's hand when he pulled it away from his lips. It was clean. Usagi looked relieved.

"Misaki-kun, I'm going to take you to get an ultrasound. You'll be able to see the baby."

Usagi smiled a little bit. He wanted to see the baby too.

"To make sure it is still okay," Nowaki finished.

Misaki looked down, fear and pain ripping through him. "Is it?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry. And the ultrasound cannot completely determine if it is alive or not. It can show if the embryo moves, but if it does not, well, we would have to wait another week and document its growth and to possibly hear a heartbeat."

"And it has to be alive to grow right?"

"Yes. However, if it is…no longer alive, then your body will reject it."

Usagi was feeling mildly ill. He tightened his grip on Misaki's shoulder.

Misaki heaved a worried sigh. "Let's go," Misaki murmured finally.

…

**Chapter Seven**

Misaki was set up in a small examining room filled with fetus information. There was also a rather nasty looking machine in the corner. It was what was supposed to take the ultrasound by Misaki's guess.

What scared him was that Nowaki was staring at the thing with a mild scowl. "What is it?"

"Nothing, I just haven't used one of these since I was learning to be a doctor."

"Oh, great." Misaki bit his lip against a moan.

"Misaki-kun, can I speak to one of the other doctors about you? He is a pediatrician and has had more experience with taking ultrasounds."

Misaki looked to Usagi-san, who nodded. People were gonna have to find out eventually. Misaki turned back and nodded. Nowaki smiled and left.

He hurried down to the pediatric ward to find Tsumori-Senpai coming out of it. "Senpai!"

"Hey, Wattchan, where've you been?"

"Maternity ward, um, I need a favor."

"Sure."

"I'm not entirely positive that I can work the ultrasound correctly, and the situation is messy."

"Oh?" He smirked, this sounded interesting.

Nowaki spilled. "Hiro-san's friend, Usami Akihiko—"

"The famous author?"

Nowaki rolled his eyes. "Yes. His lover is pregnant and they would rather no one knew."

"Ooh, secret love child. Is it not his wife's?"

"He's not married."

"Then why?"

"Ahhh..."

"Okay, okay, let's go."

…

Usagi gripped Misaki's hand tightly. "I'm alright," he murmured to his lover. "Really, I'm okay."

Usagi nodded but still gripped the boy's fingers hard as he could. He leaned down and quickly kissed Misaki, making the boy blush scarlet.

Nowaki returned with another doctor with longish hair and a smirking air about him. "Hello."

"Misaki-kun, this is Dr. Tsumori, he'll manipulate the machine."

Misaki nodded.

Tsumori looked over to Nowaki. "What is the big deal for all the secrecy? You dragged me down here because Usami-Sensei doesn't want the public to know he knocked up a girl?"

"I'm not a girl!" Misaki snapped, angrily.

"Oh? Oh…" he trailed off as he realized that Misaki was, in fact, a boy. "Okay, secrecy, got it."

"Thank you, Senpai," Nowaki murmured.

Misaki huffed at them. He hated being compared to a girl. "It's just that, you're very cute and you have a girl's name."

"Don't remind me," Misaki griped. Usagi glared at the doctor angrily. The ice in his eyes signaled death to Tsumori if he didn't drop it.

Tsumori dropped it. He had already been bashed in the face 'Hiro-san,' he had no need to be hit again by the teacher's best friend. "Alright, I'm just going to rub this goo"—he held up a tube—"on your stomach and then I'll run this part of that machine over your…uterus, and it will show up on the monitor."

Misaki nodded and lifted his tugged the blanket beside the bed over his legs and waist lifted the hospital gown up to his chest. Tsumori went over and spread jelly on his torso. Then he wheeled the machine so Misaki could see the monitor. He flipped it on and ran the small extension around in the goo. Misaki felt vaguely gross, and when he saw the fuzz moving around on the screen, he just wondered if that was what he really looked like inside.

"Okay, how many weeks along are you?"

"I'm estimating five weeks," Nowaki said for Misaki.

"Well, there won't be much to see, I'm afraid." Tsumori watched the monitor carefully for a sign of the child. "Oh, there it is, it's that little blob right there."

Usagi-san stared at the screen. His heart thumped as he saw the tiny embryo that he and Misaki had created. He hugged Misaki lightly and looked down at him. He had hoped to see joy or awe or something positive. Instead he saw annoyance on the boy's face. Usagi's heart clenched. Did Misaki still not want this baby? He looked at the other men. "Can you give us a minute?" he asked.

Nowaki looked at Usagi then Misaki and saw the off expression. "C'mon," he murmured to Tsumori. They turned and left the room, closing the door with a small click.

Usagi looked down at his lover. "What's wrong?"

Misaki didn't say anything, staring hard at the screen.

"Misaki?"

"I can't see!" he snapped out.

"See what?"

"The baby!"

Relief seeped through Usagi. "It's right there."

"Right where?"

Usagi moved to the monitor, not letting go of Misaki, and pressed his finger to a white spot on the screen. "That's it."

Misaki looked skeptical. "That's it?"

"Yes."

"Well I saw that!"

Usagi-san smirked. "Well there you go."

"It's so small."

"Of course it is."

"How the hell does that tiny thing cause so much pain?"

"Because it's growing."

Misaki rolled his eyes. "This is your fault."

"Thank you," Usagi's smirk widened. Misaki looked at the screen again and grimaced. "What now?"

"I lost it again!" Usagi just laughed and pointed at the screen once more.

…

**Chapter Eight**

Misaki spent the next four weeks vomiting morning, noon and night. Screw morning sickness. It was all day sickness and. He couldn't stand it. When he wasn't throwing up, he was crying from the pain in his throat...hormones, apparently. It was a nightmare. He couldn't stop to cook, let alone get to school. Sumi-Senpai had been by three times already to deliver homework. He had also asked multiple times what Misaki had that was keeping him out of school so long. He mentioned mono the last time, and Misaki worried he'd suggest that Misaki was pregnant next.

It was almost as bad a nightmare for Usagi-san, who could do nothing but hold his head and sooth his body as best he could. He held his lover in his arms whenever he had the chance and watched in pain when he could not.

Finally he snapped. He knew nothing about childbirth. Twenty-eight days of Misaki hurting caused him to swallow his pride and seek outside help. He picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Hi. It's Akihiko."

"Oh, Usami-san, how are you?"

"Please, just Akihiko. Um, I was wondering if you could do me a big favor."

"Name it."

…

Misaki stared at the same tile on the bathroom floor that he'd been staring at for the last three weeks. He ached all over. He did not like this. He wanted this to end. He wanted this thing inside him to stop hurting. He wanted rid of it.

A knock sounded at the door. Misaki was about to ignore it when he remembered that Usagi-san had a meeting with Aikawa-san. He stumbled to his feet and staggered downstairs. He popped open the door and found Manami on the doorstep. "Ah, Manami-san, what are you doing here?"

"Usami-san gave me the password for the main door. He said that you're having a hard time with the morning sickness."

"Oh, yeah, well, I'm fine." He ran his hands through his hair.

"You still have vomit on your shirt," she pointed out.

He looked down, grimacing at the sight. "Ugh, sorry." He wiped it away. "Well, Usagi-san isn't actually here, would you like to come in and wait?"

"Oh, thank you, but I'm actually here to see you."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I know what it's like to have a baby. So I'm gonna try to help."

He allowed relief to seep into his eyes for a second before he turned red and looked away. "Oh, that's not necessary, I don't want to be a bother to you."

"It's totally fine. It would be nice to impart my words of wisdom on another."

"O-okay. Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, please."

Misaki smiled. "Come on in."

…

Akihiko arrived home from his meeting to find Misaki giggling and chatting happily with Manami. "I'm home."

"Ah, welcome back." Misaki grinned and got up to greet his lover. He kissed him lightly on the cheek, blushing even as he did so. Akihiko looked surprised but pleased. "I'm gonna go make some coffee." He turned away and went to the kitchen.

Akihiko sat down on the couch and raised an eyebrow and Manami. "Babies can cause mood swings." She responded to the look.

Akihiko nodded. "How bad was it?"

"He only ran to the bathroom four times."

"That's better than before."

"I figured. If you keep him active and talking, he'll be less focused on being sick and more focused on other things."

"I can certainly keep him…entertained."

Manami snorted. "You'll also have to put up with possible anger and lots of crying and weird food cravings. Do whatever you can to keep Misaki-kun happy, and hopefully, the morning sickness will ease up a bit."

"Thank you. I hate not being able to help him."

"You're the father! You're the only one who can help."

"But he was happy with you here."

"Only because I pulled him out of his funk. All we did was talk about the usual things young and first time mothers go through and we talked about you."

"Oh?"

"Yes. When he has weird cravings, you're the one that has to get him whatever he wants. Hopefully, it will be something available in the country. That was one of my problems. I went to America with my parents on vacation as a teenager, and in my second trimester, all I wanted for three days was Mexican food from Taco Bell."

"Never heard of it."

"Good, I hated that stuff when I was there, too, but poor Taka-kun was trying very hard to find food for me that tasted similar."

"I suppose it’s fortunate Misaki's never been out of the country." That should probably change though.

"True, but he may want odd combinations of food so be prepared for that."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"Not off the top of my head. I'll call if I remember anymore."

"Okay, thanks."

"Coffee's ready," Misaki said with a smile, bringing out three mugs.

"Actually, I was just about to leave. Mahiro has a playdate at the park today."

"Oh, I'll walk you out." Misaki set down the mugs and walked to the door with her.

"I'll see you later, Misaki."

"Of course, and thanks, Manami-chan."

"Anytime, Misaki-kun." She smiled and left with a small wave.

"I really like her," Misaki said as the door closed. Usagi gave him a look and Misaki rolled his eyes. "Don't get jealous. I don't like her like that."

"Good, how are you feeling?"

"Better, actually. Manami-san said that if I keep myself busy and think positive I'll be less sick. It's already working, I think."

"Yes, she mentioned that I should keep you busy, but she wasn't specific as to how." He leered suggestively at Misaki who flushed. "Do you not want to?"

Misaki paused, actually giving it some thought. He had turned a deep shade of scarlet before he finally spoke again. "I want to." It was barely a whisper, but it was all Usagi needed. He caught the last word as it left Misaki's mouth in his own. He wrapped his arms around Misaki softly so as to not squish him and the baby.

"I love you, Misaki," he whispered, scooping him up in his arms.

"Me too," Misaki whispered back. He looked up, emeralds staring into amethysts, and was lost in the loving look Usagi-san was giving him. "I love you, too."

...

**Chapter Nine**

Misaki recovered greatly over the next few weeks. With Akihiko doing everything he possibly could to keep Misaki entertained as well as getting him anything he desired to eat, Misaki had very little time to be sick. He was, fortunately, not showing so now that he wasn't getting sick every few minutes, he was able to attend school again. He still fled classes once every couple of days, but Sumi-Senpai and everyone else he knew, a very small list, chalked it up to a nasty cold. Although Sumi had joked about him being pregnant the third time he'd dashed out of Kamijou Sensei's class.

He'd also been to see Kusama Sensei several times. He was hopeful that the school term would end before anyone noticed so that Misaki didn't have to drop out. That was one thing they had agreed on. Misaki could not attend anything other than online classes until after he'd had the baby.

Misaki came home from school one day to find Usagi-san wasn't home. He kicked off his shoes and went inside, wondering where the older man had gone. He went into the living room and found a note in Aikawa-san's handwriting.

_Hi Misaki!_

_I'm just going to be borrowing Usami Sensei_

_for a couple of days. There's a book signing_

_in Okinawa that he agreed to do months ago._

_So I'll bring him back in three days, okay?_

_~Aikawa_

_PS: Oh and I left some crème puffs on the_

_counter for you._

Underneath in Usagi-san's neat script was written:

_Misaki,_

_She's making me do this, please don't be angry._

_I love you so much and I'm sorry I'm leaving_

_you in this condition. Please don't make any_

_rash decisions while I'm gone, I'm sure I'll be_

_back in two or three days. If you need me_

_call my cell and if you can't, call Marukawa_

_Publishing and they'll patch you to through to_

_the hotel._

_I love you!_

_~Akihiko_

Misaki stared at the paper and the urge to cry came over him. Damn hormones.

Misaki sat down at the table and observed the empty apartment. He hated when he was alone these days. He wanted Akihiko with him almost all of the time. Come to think of it, it was a bit annoying.

He sighed and went to the kitchen to make some tea. It was about the only drink he could stomach now. Everything else made him nauseous. He sipped it and went back to the living room to do homework. He had had a bad day already. Senpai had asked him why he'd suddenly developed a taste for natto when he'd previously disliked it. He found that disconcerting but Kusama Sensei and Manami-chan had convinced him that a taste for strange food was completely normal.

He sighed. An entire weekend with nothing to do. So boring. And lonely. He wanted Usagi-san. He sat in the living room for all of two more minutes before his pride gave way and he dragged himself upstairs to his lover's bedroom and sagged on the bed.

He fell asleep, drowning in his lover's scent.

He woke to the feel of someone shaking him roughly. He opened his bleary eyes to see Usagi-san over him, panic written in every line of his face. "Misaki," he cried, wrapping his arms swiftly around the smaller man. "Oh Misaki!"

"Usagi-san, what are you doing home? I thought you would be gone for a couple of days."

"It's been a couple of days! You haven't answered your phone in all that. I came back as fast as I could! What happened?"

Misaki rubbed his eyes. "I came home from school and saw your note. Then I was tired and I came up here to sleep and then you were waking me up."

"It's Sunday today. Are you saying you've been asleep all this time?"

Misaki shot up, pain and stiffness making him flop back. "Ow."

"Misaki?"

"Sorry, just stiff."

"How's the baby?"

Misaki touched his stomach tentatively. "I think it's fine."

"Good, I'm glad you're fine too." He pressed a kiss to Misaki's lips. "I was so worried."

"I'm sorry. I didn't think I'd sleep that long."

"It's okay. Aikawa might murder me, but I will die knowing that you're okay."

"Baka," he muttered before Usagi kissed him again.

"We should call Kusama-san," Usagi-san murmured when they broke apart. "Just to be safe."

"Is that really necessary?"

"Of course."

Misaki's lips tightened. He hated being a burden. Usagi-san had to keep driving him back and forth from the hospital. It sucked.

"Misaki," he whispered. "This baby is our baby and I am going to do whatever it takes to ensure its, and yours, safety. If anything happened to you…I don't know what I would do."

Misaki felt touched. "Usagi-san…" he trailed off. Usagi smiled and kissed him again.

"I love you. I'm sorry I left you alone."

"It's okay," Misaki replied. “I’m really fine.” The more he thought about it, he was pretty sure he’d been up and down to eat things and use the bathroom. Tears started leaking out of his eyes.

"Misaki! What's wrong?" Usagi looked panicked for a moment.

"Nothing, I'm just happy...I think...that you’re back. I love you. Damn hormones," he was practically crying when he spoke.

Usagi leaned down and licked the tears away, tasting the salty liquid as if it were a delicate French wine. Misaki wrapped his arms around his lover's neck. God, he loved this man.

"Oh Misaki, I love you so much!" Usagi whispered against Misaki's cheek.

"I love you too," Misaki gasped just before Usagi-san captured his lips once more.

…

**Chapter Ten**

Misaki pushed Usagi back after a moment. "What?" the man asked carefully.

"I'm hungry."

Usagi-san laughed. "I would be too if I slept like that.” Usagi sighed and got up off his lover. "What do you want to eat?" he called as the boy fled the room.

"Ramen," he called and the bathroom door slammed shut. Usagi-san sighed at the loss of the warm body that had been wrapped snugly in his arms and went downstairs to order a delivery.

…

After lunch, Usagi arranged a brief visit with Nowaki and another ultrasound with Tsumori Sensei. It was determined that the baby was most likely unharmed by his forty hour nap, broken up by brief bouts of wakefulness. The fetus finally had a heartbeat, and it was strong and healthy too. The growth was also normal and Usagi and Misaki both were extremely grateful. Misaki was unharmed as well which was more to the point for his lover. After all, he'd nearly had a heart attack when he'd found Misaki on their bed, motionless.

The ultrasound had proved more interesting this time. Misaki was able to identify the small, almost human-looking embryo. His heart had stuttered and he'd felt something similar to when he played with his nephew. He thought it must be love, but it felt like a completely different love than the one he shared with Usagi-san as well as the love he held for his brother. It boggled his mind to no end.

At home, Misaki, who hadn't eaten in days, plowed through everything they had in the house and then a ton of sushi that Usagi had ordered by delivery at Misaki's expressed interest in raw fish. "Thank you, Usagi-san," he murmured belatedly through a mouthful of fish.

"You're welcome," Usagi replied with a smirk as the boy gulped seaweed, rice and fish. He delicately grabbed a roll for himself and popped it into his mouth.

Misaki smiled at him. Then his stomach roiled. Dammit. He dropped his chopsticks and ran for the bathroom.

"Misaki!" Usagi called dashing after him. He gently held Misaki's hair while his body rejected all the sushi he'd been craving…along with everything else he'd eaten. Usagi felt awful as he watched Misaki.

"I hate this!" Misaki growled when he finished. He got to his feet and shoved past his lover and out of the bathroom. "I really hate this. I cannot do this for another seven months!"

Usagi looked panicked. "Does that mean you don't want the baby anymore?"

Misaki's eyes watered. "I…no, I want to keep the baby, but I cannot handle this on my own."

"You're not alone! I'm here for you."

Misaki's lips tightened and tears started to stream down his face. "I love you, Usagi-san," he said, bursting into tears.

Usagi reached out and grabbed him, holding him tightly. "Oh, Misaki. I love you so much." He kissed the boy, but Misaki pushed away.

"No, please, I need to at least brush my teeth."

"I don't care."

"I do. Usagi-san, please." He hated begging but he felt truly disgusting, he didn't want Usagi-san to taste that awful flavor.

Usagi frowned, but gave in. He watched the boy scramble to his feet and brush his teeth. Of course, the moment he spat out the last swill of water and set down his toothbrush, Usagi swooped down to kiss him, tasting the minty toothpaste on his soft lips. Misaki struggled for less than a second before wrapping his arms around Usagi-san's neck. He gasped into the kiss when Usagi lifted him to perch on the lip of the bathroom counter.

Usagi moved closer, forcing his Misaki's legs apart as he stood between them. He slid a hand softly down the boy's back, making him shiver and arch his back, pushing their chests together. He slid that hand under Misaki's shirt then slid it back up over Misaki's soft, beautiful skin.

He broke the kiss long enough to tug Misaki's shirt off before plundering the boy's lips while tweaking both his nipples. Misaki yelped and whimpered in pleasure whenever he had enough breath to do so. He grasped Usagi-san's shoulders tightly, nails digging in through the fabric. Usagi loved that he was affecting Misaki that strongly. A part of him knew that this was just Misaki's overactive hormones, but he couldn't care less. Misaki obviously wanted him badly right now.

He finally broke off his attack on Misaki's mouth, moving his head to kiss his slender neck. Misaki whimpered and he felt his lover's head fall forward onto his shoulder. Usagi smiled and continued, pressing small kisses and love bites on his collar bone.

Of course, the feel of Misaki's lips pressing on his neck stopped him cold. He felt Misaki's lips press a small kiss to the bend in his neck. Then hot breath spilled over the spot as Misaki gasped out, "Don't stop," before biting down gently.

Usagi could have come right at that moment. Misaki was doing something he'd never in a million years dreamed was possible. He smiled and nodded though he knew the boy couldn't see it and began kissing and nipping at his collar while unbuttoning his own shirt to give Misaki more skin if he so chose.

Misaki did choose. He slid his hands under Usagi-san's arms to brace himself and then leaned down to kiss the older man's skin. Usagi felt the hesitant kisses and nips as if they were hard. Every touch sent ripples of pleasure straight to his groin, which was growing by the second. He wouldn't be able to hold it off much longer. He dipped lower, choosing to suck on a nipple.

Misaki, unable to bend that far, contented himself by holding Usagi-san close and throwing his head back with a whimper and murmuring Usagi-san's name several times.

Usagi was finally done in. He released Misaki's nipple and caught his lips again. Then he lifted Misaki, who instinctively wrapped his legs around the bigger man's waist, and carried him into the bedroom, basking in the feeling of their cocks rubbing against each other.

…

**Chapter Eleven**

Usagi laid Misaki down, as gently as he could manage, on the bed before he proceeded to devour him. He started by stripping the last of Misaki's clothes before kissing every inch of the thin teenager. Misaki whimpered and moaned and grabbed at whatever part of Usagi-san he could reach.

Usagi was thoroughly enjoying every touch Misaki offered. He basked in it; drowned in it; loved it. When he reached the boy's straining erection, he licked the tip, tasting the precum and listening to his lover yelp. He put just the head in his mouth when Misaki's pelvis arched dramatically, engulfing the entire thing in Usagi-san's mouth. It was so abrupt that Mr. Expert Lover actually choked a bit. He struggled for a moment before getting his stride back.

He slurped and sucked away until Misaki cried out and Usagi swallowed the boy's cum. Misaki sagged back, panting heavily and looking almost drunk. He smiled and looked placidly up at his lover.

"Had enough?" Usagi asked, expecting the worst.

"No," he whispered. Usagi caught the word on his lips. He didn't remove his lips even as he hiked Misaki's legs and reached for the lube in the drawer of the bedside cabinet. He pressed a long finger into Misaki's backside, probing and loosening. Misaki cried out every time Usagi-san added another finger. Then he found Misaki's prostate and sent him screaming over the edge again.

Misaki gasped and whimpered.

"Do you want me?" Usagi-san asked. "Say you want me."

Misaki was unable to speak. He just breathed raggedly.

Usagi kissed him again, draining him of breath again. "Say that you want me."

"I… I wa-want you…I love you."

Usagi kissed and thrust into him. Misaki screamed his pleasure, reaching up to wrap his arms around Usagi's neck. "Usagi-san," he moaned.

"Misaki…Misaki…" Usagi said his name again and again, punctuating each time with a thrust. Misaki screamed, coming a third time and Usagi followed just a couple of thrusts later. He gently pulled out of Misaki and lowered his legs delicately before he collapsed beside him and tugged a sheet up to cover them both. He looked at Misaki, whose eyes had slid shut. He leaned over and kissed Misaki's damp hair. "I love you so much, Misaki. I love you."

"Love you, too," Misaki slurred, falling asleep even as he spoke.

…

Misaki opened his eyes to see Usagi-san passed out beside him. He rubbed his eyes as he recalled exactly what had happened before he'd fallen asleep. He turned red and scrambled out of his lover's bed. He searched for his pants for a moment before finding them. Then he fled the room to get a shower.

As he basked in the hot spray, he took inventory. Under normal circumstances, he should have just felt uncomfortable, but today he felt oddly good. The pain in his backside had already dulled to a pleasant throb and his entire body tingled, small spikes of pleasure tripping over his skin as the water hit it. It felt lovely. He ran his hands delicately over his flesh. It was strangely soft and sensitive, like he'd never actually touched his own skin before.

It must have had to do with the pregnancy, he reasoned. He touched his still flat stomach knowing that there was something alive in there. Maybe it was the hormones, but he didn't find the idea as frightening as he used to think it was. Now his only fear was not being a good parent.

His fears were interrupted when the bathroom door opened. "Misaki, can I join you?" Before Misaki could form words, Usagi-san stepped in, taking the shower head down and waving it gently through the air to soak Misaki in the wonderfully hot water. Misaki sagged, bracing himself against the wall while water cascaded over his back.

Usagi-san reached out, touching Misaki's side. The cool hand contrasted with the warm water pleasantly, making Misaki have to fight off a whimper. The hand slipped farther, resting on Misaki's stomach. Misaki looked down at the hand as it tugged and drew his body into Usagi's tight embrace. "I love you," Usagi whispered. "I will always love you forever."

Misaki let his eyes slide shut as he sagged in his lover's grip with the tiniest hint of a smile.

… _Two weeks later…_

Misaki was slowly adjusting to all the strange things his body was doing. He still had random weird bouts of cravings and morning sickness, but he was still able to attend classes and his lover's insatiable lust kept him in almost constant pleasure every night.

Unfortunately, when Misaki went to the doctor that week, Misaki found that one more doctor had been brought in on the secret.

"Misaki-kun, this is Dr. Onari Hikari. She specializes in childbirth, unlike Dr. Tsumori and myself." The doctor Nowaki introduced looked to be in her early thirties with black hair and dark gray eyes.

"Hello, Takahashi-san. Dr. Kusama begged me to keep this quiet. But don't worry." She shot a sparkling smile at Nowaki. "The benefit of two weeks shifts being covered whenever I want them far outweighs anything I might get for exposing you."

She took some tests and came back. "Seems your estrogen levels are good, which means that baby is healthy but you will probably be experiencing some growth or pain in your chest."

"Ooh, that'll be fun." Misaki sounded bleak.

"No it won't," she replied.

"Great." So much for optimism.

…

**Chapter 12**

_Three weeks later; week thirteen_

Misaki and Usagi were back in the maternity ward again. This time, they were there to find out the sex of the baby.

"Okay, are you ready?" Dr. Onari murmured with a smile.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. Where's Dr. Kusama?"

"He's got the pediatrics terminal ward today. It always wears him out, along with everyone else in pediatrics, so he's going straight home after his shift when it ends in a few minutes."

"That's rough," Misaki replied. She smiled sympathetically as she rubbed gel on Misaki's stomach and prepped the machine.

"It's part of the job. Now then, are you ready to find out the sex of the baby?"

There was a pregnant silence before he said, "Yes."

Usagi reached out and took Misaki's hand, trying to keep him grounded. Dr. Onari flipped on the monitor and placed the ultrasound to Misaki's stomach.

"Okay, there it is and…it's a girl."

There was total silence, but for the small whir of the ultrasound.

"Wow… a girl."

Misaki laid there in shock. Usagi noticed. "Misaki, are you alright?"

"Uh, yeah…it's just…well, I know what she is. It just makes this so much more real." He stared down at his still flat stomach. Now he knew there was a baby girl growing inside of him. It was all too much. He felt his eyes overflow. Usagi slid a comforting arm around his shoulder. He leaned against Usagi-san thankfully.

"Well then," Dr. Onari said lightly, "If you need anything else, don't hesitate to call me or Dr. Kusama."

Misaki nodded and closed his eyes, sinking into his lover's warmth. Usagi ruffled his hair lightly and looked over at the doctor with a brief smile, before turning back to kiss Misaki's hair. He loved that kid so much.

Onari smiled and left.

…

On the way home, Misaki was totally silent. He was deep in thought. The baby was a girl. It was just so groundbreaking. He would be looking after a girl for the next twenty years. He grimaced. Wasn't he already looking after a child already? He cast an eye briefly at Usagi-san's profile. Well, a really big child.

"Misaki?" Usagi had seen the quick glance.

"Nothing, I just…oh," he gasped.

"Misaki?"

"I—the baby, it just moved." Misaki was staring down at his stomach. It was still flat, but there had definitely been a shift.

"Is she okay?" Misaki felt a small warmth flutter in his stomach at the pronoun.

"I think so," he said hesitantly. He waited to see if she would move again, but she was still. "That felt…"

"Fantastic?"

Not the word he was looking for. "More like weird."

"Is it still alright though?"

Misaki paused. "Yeah, it's fine."

Usagi smiled warmly, making Misaki's heart flutter. "Good."

…

Misaki enjoyed the next few days whenever the baby shifted or twitched. He finally finished the semester too. "Argh, I have no idea how I passed that English class," he moaned at Sumi Senpai as they walked out of their last final of the semester.

"Please, you have Usami Sensei who speaks perfect English to teach you."

"He doesn't teach me English. He doesn't teach me anything."

"Well, he could teach you in the bed. Apparently, bedroom talk is the fastest way to learn another language."

Misaki blushed. "Senpai, stop it."

"You know, there's something different about you lately."

Misaki stilled. "Wha-what do you mean?"

"Well, I know sex is good for the skin but you're positively glowing." Sumi's look was very scrutinizing.

"Ah well, there's nothing. I'm absolutely fine." He laughed rather loudly.

"Uh huh." Sumi glanced around, noting there were in a relatively empty corridor. As they passed a bathroom, Sumi gave him slight push and they staggered through the door. Sumi grabbed his shoulders and pinned him gently against the wall. He stared more thoroughly at him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Misaki gasped.

"I'm trying to figure out what's different about you."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Sumi ignored him. "Hmm, same height, same eyes, same mouth, same face. And yet your skin is beautiful. Are you using some sort of lotion?" He leaned down and sniffed Misaki's skin. "No…hmm. I have no idea what this is. Maybe I was right and you are pregnant."

"Tha-that's ridiculous. I'm a boy for heaven's sake." Misaki realized only too late that his eyes were completely averted. Dammit.

Sumi raised an eyebrow. "Oh really." He slid his arms down Misaki's side and lifted under his ribs. "That's it."

"Wh-what's it?" he gasped, squirming. "Senpai!"

"You are definitely heavier than you used to be."

Misaki's eyes bugged. "I am not fat!" he yelped.

"I didn't say that."

But it was too late and Misaki's mood swings kicked in full throttle. "I'm not fat!" He looked positively pissed.

"Okay, okay, you're not fat." Sumi released him and took a couple steps back. "Relax. Jeez, you really are acting pregnant." Misaki stiffened sharply and the sign was just too much to ignore. "Are you really pregnant?"

"N-no."

Sumi's eyes widened. "No way. You're preggers?"

"Of course not."

"I can't believe it. But you're a guy."

"Stop saying that. _I'm not pregnant!_ "

"Whatever you say." Sumi turned away and started toward the door.

"No, listen, I'm not pregnant, cuz I'm a boy and that's just impossible."

"Sure."

Misaki growled in frustration. "I'm not, honestly."

"I believe you," Sumi replied lightly. "I have to go now, vacation awaits." He left Misaki to glower after him.

"S-Senpai?" he called after him. He could swear Sumi was smirking even with his back turned.

…

**Chapter Thirteen**

Misaki got into Usagi-san's car with a livid expression on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"Senpai called me fat."

Usagi's eyes widened. "Why?" he asked, too intrigued to comment on the fact that he didn't want his precious lover hanging out with that horny bastard.

"Because he thinks I'm pregnant."

"Do you want me to go back and punch him?" he asked, completely serious.

It occurred to Misaki that his hormones were twisting Senpai's words. "Of course not. Don't be stupid. Let's go home."

"Whatever you say." He was still not entirely sold on the idea though.

Once home, Misaki went to his room to change. He stripped off his shirt and as he reached for a fresh one, he caught sight of himself in the mirror beside his dresser. He forgot his shirt as he stood up slowly. He stared at his torso. The skin of his stomach was taut. Too taut. He brushed a hand over his stomach. It was definitely bigger.

"I knew it… I'm fat." Misaki fought tears. Stupid hormones.

"Misaki?" Akihiko was at his door. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

Unfortunately, Usagi picked up the sound of tearfulness in his voice. He swiftly opened the door to find his sweet little Misaki shirtless, his hands on his stomach. Without a baggy shirt, there was definitely no hiding that Misaki's stomach had grown a little bit. He looked beautiful. Usagi smiled. "What's wrong?"

"I… It's grown."

"Yes?"

"I'm fat now."

"So?"

"Jeez, isn't it weird though?"

"Misaki, I don't care what you look like. You're still my beautiful Misaki."

Misaki's heart fluttered. Why did Usagi know exactly what to say to make him so emotional?

"Now, how about we forget all about this weight nonsense."

"Yeah, I need to start making dinner." Misaki started reaching for his shirt again but Usagi embraced him from behind.

"I had something else in mind."

"Usagi-san," he gasped out. "Wait…"

"Don't wanna." He pressed a kiss to Misaki's shoulder and dragged his lips across his collar, nibbling at the base of his neck.

Misaki sagged, letting his lover hold him up while he worked his way up Misaki's hand. Usagi's large, cool hand caught Misaki's chin and pointed his face towards his. Misaki's eyes glowed with unshed tears and he was panting heavily. Usagi closed the gap and kissed him, holding Misaki's head stationary while his tongue plundered the boy's mouth. "Usagi-san…" he murmured when they broke apart for a second. His stomach fluttered as he slowly turned in Usagi's arms. They kissed again as Misaki wrapped his arms around the older man's neck.

"Misaki," Usagi whispered. "Misaki, I love you." He slid down, kissing his jaw, collar and chest before latching onto a nipple. He sucked gently, making Misaki whimper. Then he tweaked the neglected nipple and Misaki yelped as pleasure shot through his body.

He slid down to Misaki's stomach. He pressed a smattering of kisses all over, listening to Misaki's soft murmurs. Then he felt a ripple underneath Misaki's skin. He froze as something moved. The baby was moving. Misaki lifted his head to look at his lover, his eyes as questioning as he could manage through the hazy lust that coated them. "Us-Usagi-san, it's moving, it feels weird."

"Not it, she. And I don't think it's weird at all." 

“Right, she…”

Usagi resumed his kissing and nibbling on Misaki's stomach and Misaki was unable to form coherent thoughts anymore. "I love you," he said fiercely before engulfing Misaki's erection. He flicked his tongue expertly over his erection until Misaki came, screaming Usagi-san's name. He sagged back, panting.

Misaki suddenly got a second wind. He didn't know where it came, but it energized him, so when Usagi crawled up him and pressed another kiss to his lips, Misaki met it with fervor, wrapping his arms around Usagi and digging his nails into the older man's shoulder blades. Usagi was startled but refused to look this gift horse in the mouth. He plunged his tongue into Misaki's mouth, groping Misaki's cock as it grew once more. Using the cream to slick his fingers, he dragged them across the boy's entrance before pressing one in.

Misaki choked on the kiss and arched his back as the fingers prodded at his prostate. Properly loosened, Usagi broke the kiss and plunged himself into Misaki. Misaki screamed in pleasure and scraped his nails down his back. Usagi lifted them up and gently raised Misaki up and down and played with his erection. Misaki lost track of how many times he came that night. He was completely lost in pleasure. He felt Usagi-san come inside him before he lost all awareness and finally passed out.

When Misaki came to, wrapped in Usagi-san's tight embrace, he flushed scarlet. He couldn't believe that he had just done that. The baby twitched, tickling his stomach pleasantly. The baby hadn't had a problem with last night. He smiled down at the baby and rubbed his stomach lightly. A foot nudged at his hand and his smile widened lovingly. He couldn't help it. Just like Mahiro-chan, Misaki had to smile whenever he thought of his own baby the same way he did with his nephew.

"She'll be beautiful," Usagi-san whispered. Misaki looked up to see that Usagi's amethyst eyes were open and smiling down at him. "Just like you."

Misaki looked down again. "Don't say stuff like that. I'm a boy…and fat."

Akihiko sighed and pressed a hand to his forehead. "Will you stop already? You are the most beautiful person in the world, male or female, no one can compare to you, my beautiful…cute…sweet…Misaki." He punctuated each word with a kiss. "Misaki…Misaki!"

Misaki melted in Usagi's warmth.

…

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Two weeks later (Week fifteen)**

Misaki had a doctor's appointment that morning. Dr. Onari and Dr. Kusama were both there for that ultrasound today. "Good morning Takahashi-kun."

"Morning Onari Sensei, Kusama Sensei." Misaki smiled at the two of them brightly. Usagi felt a stab of jealousy and rested an arm territorially across Misaki's shoulders.

"Shall we?" Onari asked, gesturing to the ultrasound.

"Yeah." Misaki settled back, leaning into Usagi's light embrace.

Onari spread the jelly on his stomach and ran the sensor through it. "Okay, everything looks normal. And here is your baby girl." Misaki looked at the thing barely four inches long. But it was finally starting to look like a baby.

"She's beautiful," Usagi murmured. "Just like you," he finished, looking into Misaki's emerald green eyes.

The boy turned scarlet and looked at the screen again. "Don't say stuff like that," he muttered.

Onari and Nowaki exchanged a knowing look then looked back at the screen. "So, you may start showing a little bit so don't be surprised. Also, you should make sure to walk and do some non-strenuous exercises. Also, while it may be uncomfortable, don't sleep on your stomach anymore."

Misaki flinched. Sleeping on his stomach after strenuous exercise tended to be something he did a lot. He nodded mutely. Usagi felt a mild pang for the small boy. He patted the boy's stomach softly. It would all be alright, he hoped.

…

At home, Misaki found himself totally exhausted. He ordered Usagi-san to work on a deadline while he took a nap. Of course, when he woke a few hours later to find he was wrapped in his lover's arms, his disapproval of Usagi-san's inability to do his work lost against the affection he was feeling for him. He felt totally comfortable in his lover's strong, warm arms. He snuggled in for a moment before getting up to go make dinner. He considered what he wanted to eat and found that all he wanted was rice. A lot of rice. Well that was easy enough, but what would Usagi-san have?

"Something silly that no adult in his right mind would never eat," Misaki muttered to the baby for no apparent reason. He started making octo weenies and veggies arranged to look like Suzuki-san. He was almost done when pain started in his stomach and he doubled over, whimpering.

Strong arms wrapped around his waist delicately. "Are you okay?" Usagi asked.

"Yeah," Misaki murmured as Usagi's hands slid under his lover's shirt and ran his cool fingers soothingly over Misaki's ever so slightly protruding stomach. He loved the sensation of feeling those soft touches on his stomach.

"Is it the baby?" he asked.

"It just hurts, I'll be fine," Misaki rasped, straightening in Usagi-san's hold. "Go set the table please."

Akihiko nodded reluctantly releasing the teenager. He went to get chopsticks and cups while Misaki turned off the stove and piled almost all the rice into a large bowl, drowned it in soy sauce and went to the table with Usagi-san's children's food. At the table, Misaki dug into his rice. Akihiko raised an eyebrow. "The baby want that?"

"I didn't bother to ask," Misaki murmured. Then he flinched, realizing that this was the second time he'd considered the baby as something sentient. It was strange. But Misaki was starting to develop feelings for it—her. She was going to be part of their family. He sighed, thinking about this was making things worse. He focused on his rice.

"Misaki, thank you for the weenies."

"You're welcome. Even if it is stupid."

"It's not stupid, it's adorable."

Misaki just shook his head.

"It's better than just eating rice."

"Eat me," Misaki snapped.

"Love to."

Misaki turned scarlet at those words and glared at the rice. "Idiot."

…

That night, Usagi was writing in bed while Misaki lay fast asleep beside him. He was curled up on his side with a hand resting in Usagi's lap under the warm laptop. It was uncomfortably close to a certain area but Akihiko was channeling his need into writing lusty love scenes between the two of them that would have liked to try…several times.

He was just about to write Misaki coming for the third time when the doorbell buzzed. He set down his computer and pressed Misaki's hand to his lips before setting it carefully on the pillow. "I'll be back." He slid downstairs and went to the door. He popped open the door. "Hiroki, what a pleasant surprise."

"Yeah, looks like I'm not the only surprise." He jerked his head to the side. Akihiko stuck his head out the door and looked over. Takahiro stood in the hall, hands in his pockets, a slight smile on his face. It was pained, but genuine.

"Please come in." Akihiko stood back. The two other men stepped inside. "Misaki is asleep. I can go wake him if you like."

"That's okay." Takahiro forced a bright smile. "Let's just drink."

"I don't have any alcohol."

"I brought some," Hiroki pulled two bottles of sake from his inner coat pockets.

Akihiko raised an eyebrow. "Wow, that's different."

"Yeah well, I didn't want you to slam the door in my face because all you want to do is play with the little brat."

"Misaki is not a brat!" Takahiro said.

"Sorry," he apologized dully.

"I'll get glasses," Akihiko said. "You two, behave."

…

**Chapter Fifteen**

Hiroki and Takahiro sat in the living room while Akihiko went to check on Misaki who was totally dead to the world. When he came down, Takahiro was waiting patiently for him but Hiroki was already halfway through his first beer.

"Hurry up, Bakahiko!" Hiroki growled. "The lightweight is still waiting for you."

"Hey," Takahiro murmured.

"It's true."

"You're the one starting to sound like a lightweight," Akihiko replied, joining them at the table.

"I'm the only one with liquor in my system as of yet so bite me."

Takahiro snorted and grabbed a can of beer. He popped the tab and downed the contents.

"That's better," Hiroki said, reaching for yet another beer. "Akihiko, you too."

Akihiko smirked and popped the tab on his first drink. "So what's the purpose for coming over?"

"Drinking!" Hiroki replied emphatically.

"I needed to talk to you about Misaki."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I really think he ought to come home for awhile."

Akihiko's eyes narrowed. Takahiro had never annoyed him before but this… "Why is that?" he murmured, his voice controlled.

Takahiro glanced over at Hiroki, who was watching in mild confusion. "You know why."

"Misaki is perfectly fine here. He's done with school."

"But you can't take care of him."

"Watch me," Akihiko said stiffly.

Hiroki wondered at the tense energy between the two men but, on his fourth beer already, didn't really get what was going on but, since he was buzzed…he decided to add his own input. "Akihiko takes good care of the brat. Even though he can't do jack shit around the house."

Takahiro looked over at him in surprise. "Kamijou-kun…" He smiled a little bit. "It's good that you're Misaki's teacher."

"In any case," Akihiko cut in, "Misaki is perfectly fine here."

Takahiro's face suddenly split into a smile. "Yes, let's drink!" Neither of the other men acknowledged how false it was.

"All right!" Hiroki said a little too loudly. He popped yet another tab. He was well on his way to getting drunk.

"Isn't your lover going to get annoyed that you're not home?"

"Nowaki's not gonna get off before one. It'll be fine." Hiroki smirked and downed the drink.

Akihiko smirked. "If you say so."

…

When Misaki opened his eyes, he found it was a quarter to one and a cold bed. Usagi-san was nowhere in sight. He sat up, a hand moving automatically to his ever so slightly protruding abdomen. It was miniscule. He doubted that Akihiko had noticed yet, but there it was.

Now if only Usagi-san was actually here. He felt mildly grumpy that his lover had gone off. Then he smacked himself in the forehead when he realized how selfish and childish that was. "Idiot," he chastised himself.

A raucous laugh caught his attention. Evidently someone was in the house. But that wasn't Usagi-san. He got up and dressed and headed downstairs. There, he found his lover, his brother and his crazy professor all around the table. He stared at them in shock.

Akihiko looked up first, sensing his lover's presence. "Misaki! Hey, you're up." He was definitely drunk.

"Oi, brat, where did you come from?" Hiroki slurred.

"He lives here," Akihiko said.

"Oh yeah. Well, go back to bed, you're too young to drink."

"Don't be rude to my…precious little brother," Takahiro choked out. He was drunk as well. Misaki rarely saw his brother drunk. It was strange. If he passed out tonight it might be just from the alcohol. A pleasant change for him.

"Brother, Sensei, what are you doing here?"

"Drinking!"

"Why?"

"Cuz we wanted to." Akihiko picked up a cup and poured in some sake. "Drink with us."

"He can't," Takahiro yelled, over excitedly.

"Eh, why not?"

"He's too young," Hiroki slurred. "Didn't I already say that?"

"You did?" Akihiko asked.

"Yes he did."

"That's no' what I meant! He can't drink cuz he's pregnant," Takahiro argued.

"But he's a boy."

"I know that, and yet…"

"Okay, time for everyone to go home or sleep," Misaki said sternly before his demon professor could start ranting or throwing things…or, since they'd been drinking, throwing up.

A collective groan went up but they willingly handed over the almost empty sake bottle and the completely empty one as they got staggering to their feet. "Usagi-san, bed, now!"

"Only if you come with me," he whispered, lust coating his voice like honey.

"Shut up."

"Yeah, don't flirt with brats in front of me."

"You flirt with brats too."

"Only one specific brat and he doesn't count!" Hiroki snapped out.

"He's still a brat," Akihiko replied with a smirk.

"Children!" Misaki yelled.

"Misaki-chan," Takahiro whimpered. "You should come home with me. Get away with all this craziness. This stress is not good for you."

Misaki sighed. “I'm fine where I am. You should stay too."

"Oh, that's so sweet. I love you, little brother." He sagged then, passing out, leaving the pregnant boy holding all the dead weight of his brother's limp body.

"Oi, Akihiko, Takahashi's gonna crush your brat."

"Misaki!" Akihiko cried. He hurried over and hoisted his former crush off of his current lover. Then he carried the man to the couch.

"I'll get a blanket," Misaki said tiredly. "Sensei, will you be staying? You can use my room."

"Nah, I'll call Nowaki." He pulled out a cell phone and pressed speed dial. He made the effort to sound sober when he next spoke. "Ah, Nowaki, are you almost finished with your shift? Uh huh, yeah, well could you stop by Akihiko's place? This brat here thinks I'm too drunk to go home alone."

Whatever Kusama Sensei said in reply, it made Kamijou Sensei annoyed. "He's just a friend for the last time and you know that. You know how devoted he is to that little brat." Misaki glowered. He wasn't a brat!

"Okay, see you in a little while." He snapped the phone shut and turned to an annoyed Misaki, who hastily schooled his features to hide his irritation. "What?"

“Nothing.” 

There was an awkward beat of silence before Hiroki decided he should keep talking.

"So you're pregnant, huh?"

"How did you find out?"

"Takahiro said it but I don’t really get it."

Before Misaki could form a response, Hiroki swayed slightly and fell back, using the couch for support. "Dammit," he muttered.

"You should sit. Or lay down until Kusama Sensei gets here."

"Shut up, brat. You're the one who's pregnant. Shouldn't you be resting?"

"I just woke up." He touched his stomach delicately. "I'm fine." The baby must have heard those words because she chose that moment to kick him, hard. He jerked and clutched his stomach.

"Oi, what's the matter with you?" Hiroki asked.

"No-nothing." He smiled too hard. Hiroki didn't buy it. "The baby just kicked."

Hiroki's eyes widened in surprise. "It kicked you?"

"Sh-she…she kicked me," Misaki murmured.

"She," Hiroki repeated.

"Yes."

Hiroki stared at Misaki's stomach. He couldn't see the lump where the baby resided but Misaki still shivered at the shrewd expression that appeared through the drunk and vague expression. "I wonder whether she'll look like you or Akihiko."

Misaki's eyes widened. He'd never given that much thought. "Well," Misaki started, "I don't know."

"Hmm," Hiroki murmured. "She will be beautiful of course."

Misaki's eyebrows shot up. "Beautiful?"

"Yes. Your green eyes and build and Akihiko's blonde hair." Hiroki's words began to slur and his mind wandered thanks to the drink. "She will have men chasing after her constantly. You'll have to watch her since Akihiko only has eyes for you. Of course, she'll have Akihiko's brains but hopefully not his endless obsession with one person…" The rest of his words were unintelligible as he sagged backwards and passed out on the opposite couch of the one Takahiro already slept.

Misaki just looked at the sleeping man in horror. What if his daughter grew up to be like Usagi-san, lustful and mentally disturbed with an obsession with Yaoi? _Oh my God, what if she turns into a fan girl?_ Misaki clutched at his stomach murmuring prayers that she would not turn out like that. "Please, baby, don't ever turn into Aikawa-san."

…

**Chapter Sixteen**

_Three weeks later…Week eighteen_

Misaki officially hated everything in the world except for chocolate. He hated all other foods, all people and everything else in existence. All he wanted to do was sit in his bedroom and eat chocolate.

The problem was that Akihiko would not allow him to do so. That, however, was not the reason he currently hated Usagi-san. The reason was:

_The day before…_

" _We're out of chocolate."_

" _You shouldn't have any more."_

" _I want more." Misaki was whining but he couldn't help it._

" _If you eat anymore, you really will get fat."_

Since then, Misaki had not left his room other than to use the bathroom and throw up. Usagi-san had made several attempts to coax the boy out but many of them ended either with Misaki screaming at him to get out or Aikawa-san showing up to make him do work.

When he finally got his manuscript done and Aikawa-san went away, he decided to try Misaki again. Before he could knock, Misaki yelled, "Go away, Usagi-san! I do not want to talk to you right now...or ever again!"

Akihiko tried the door anyway but it was indeed locked. He turned away and went downstairs, crestfallen. He looked at the table where Aikawa had left crème puffs for Misaki in case he had a craving. Under the box was a baby catalog. He picked it up and opened it. He spent all of a minute flipping through it, then looked at the last page for their number and reached for the phone.

… _Two Days Later…_

Misaki finally deigned to come out of his room and come downstairs. Akihiko was back to his usual antics but he was much more careful about what he said. He refused to allow Misaki another reason to lock himself in his room.

There was a buzz at the door. Misaki looked surprised as Usagi-san hurried to the door to let them in. Five men, laden down with boxes, came in and set them down in the living room. He got to his feet. "What is all this?" he asked, pressing a hand gently to his stomach.

One of the movers looked at Misaki and said, "Congratulations, ma'am."

Misaki's eyes bugged out and he flushed. "Excuse me?" he choked.

The man flushed. "Pardon me," he murmured and fled the room, leaning Misaki thoroughly confused and annoyed. How could that man mistake him for a girl? Well, he was pregnant, he reminded himself, looking down at his protruding stomach.

Akihiko went to the kitchen after the delivery men left and returned with a box cutter. He started opening one box after another. "What are all these for?" Misaki asked.

"To cheer you up," Usagi said with a smile. Then he held up a pale pink baby onesie with one hand and a soft yellow blanket with the other. Misaki just stared. "What do you think?" he asked when Misaki didn't show any reaction.

"I…" Misaki trailed off. "I… I…" he gave up.

"You don't like it?" Usagi was trying to hide how upset he was feeling. If Misaki didn't like this then he really would have to go out and buy up a chocolate store.

Misaki saw the signs. The slight widening of his irises and the down curl of his lips. He rushed to stop Usagi-san's sadness. "They're fantastic, really."

"But..?" he asked.

"Well, it's just that the baby is not going to be born for another _twenty weeks!_ "

Akihiko smiled. "I know, so what?"

"So where the hell are you putting all this stuff til then?"

"Your room," he said without missing a beat.

"My room?"

"Yup, you can sleep with me from now on."

"You bastard!" Misaki yelled.

"Yes yes." Akihiko shot forward and stole a kiss before going back to the boxes and leaving Misaki speechless.

For more than one reason.

Was he shocked? Yes.

Was he annoyed? Yes.

Were his hormones in overdrive, making him horny as fuck? …Yes…

Akihiko jerked in surprise when Misaki wrapped his arms around him from behind and pressed against him. Usagi-san could feel the boy's growing erection against his ass as he was still bent over. He barely managed the quip, "You playing seme now?" before grasping the youth's wrists and bringing his hands to his lips, kissing them softly before turning and meeting Misaki's tender kiss.

He turned it into something much deeper, plunging his tongue into the boy's mouth while his hands released Misaki's to wrap around his waist and slide under his shirt. Misaki shivered and his hands knotted in silver blond hair. Then they fisted, making Akihiko wince in pleasure pain and kiss him all the harder.

"Misaki," he whispered, "I love you." One hand slid up, brushing over his shoulder blades, while the other dipped beneath his waistband. Those fingers prodded gently, not yet penetrating but still sending tingling pleasure from Misaki's skin to his brain, making him whimper against his mouth. "I love you so much."

They kissed for a minute more before Usagi's hands slid to Misaki's front to unbutton his light blue shirt. Misaki stopped him. "Not here, floor's too hard."

Akihiko's eyes widened. He was surprised that Misaki was submitting so easily. Thank you, powers that be, for pregnancy hormones. He scooped up Misaki bridal style, despite protests, and carried him upstairs to the bedroom. He opened the door, carried him across the threshold and kicked it shut.

**Chapter Seventeen**

Usagi laid his lover gently down on their bed. Misaki stared up at the man who still stood over the bed. His hands slid from the boy's body, save one hand on his. He lifted that hand to his lips and kissed the fingertips. Misaki loved the sensation of those lips. He could easily allow that hand to be used in such a way for the rest of time.

But not at this particular moment. He twitched his fingers, slipping them into the blond's mouth. Usagi sucked them playfully, making the brunet whimper.

This was all good fun…but Misaki had had enough. He caught the bottom of Usagi's jaw and pulled gently, pulling him down to Misaki's face. Misaki pulled his fingers from Usagi's mouth and stared into his amethyst eyes with an uncharacteristic longing and Akihiko nevertheless obliged. Their lips touched gently for a moment. When they parted, Misaki's eyes had slid shut. He opened them again and they sparkled like emeralds. Usagi was struck breathless for a moment. He stayed there for so long that Misaki actually looked confused. "Usagi-san?" he whispered.

"You're so beautiful right now."

Misaki blushed. Then, before he could stop his raging estrogen-infected hormones from doing it, he lifted his head and kissed the older man. He opened his mouth to let Usagi's tongue in. Usagi came out of his fugue state then and slammed the teen's head back against the pillow as he climbed onto the bed over the boy. Their tongues danced and bodies brushed against each other.

"Misaki…"

"Usagi-san…"

Both men murmured wordlessly as they began unbuttoning shirts and pants. Once naked, Usagi grasped Misaki's erection and pumped him hard, making Misaki whimper. He kissed the kid long and hard, drowning him in pleasure before breaking away and kissing down his jaw and neck. At his nipples, he licked and kissed them, careful not to suck too hard. He did nibble a bit though, making Misaki writhe beneath him.

Then he slid lower, to Misaki's taut stomach. The baby bump was obvious here. Misaki whimpered when Usagi-san's lips pressed against that velvety smooth skin. Misaki felt his eyes well up, the pleasure was so intense. He threw his hands over his face with a cry. Usagi fought a smile as he continued to kiss the youth's pregnant torso. Misaki actually came just from Usagi's hand and tender kisses. He thought he'd been getting better at holding out.

Of course, he was still hard as a rock. Akihiko lapped up the cum, despite Misaki's protests, and then slid even lower. "Misaki, you taste delicious."

"Don't say stuff like that," Misaki moaned. "Please stop."

"Nope." Then he engulfed Misaki easily. Misaki very nearly screeched as the pleasure swamped him. When Misaki came a second time, Usagi swallowed it all and looked up at Misaki's face. The boy was sweat streaked and lusty but he was still more than willing for more. Usagi pulled the boy up into his lap and plunged his fingers slick with lube--and when had that happened?--into his entrance. Misaki yelped and moaned his lover's name when the man hit his sweet spot. He squirmed on Usagi-san's hand, loosening himself as Usagi loosened him.

A minute later, Usagi's fingers slipped away and then they appeared a moment later on the side of his waist as the other hand did. He lifted Misaki a few inches and positioned him before lowering him onto his raging erection. Misaki wrapped his arms around Akihiko's neck, holding on tightly as pleasure danced through his body. He screamed and moaned in cadence with Usagi's grunts and murmurs as he kept him coming all night long.

…

Akihiko opened his eyes to find himself still naked but completely and utterly sated. Probably for the first time ever, since he'd never had enough of Misaki. He probably still could've gone another couple of rounds but, for the moment, he felt like he could die happy.

He sat up in bed and looked over at Misaki. He lay motionless on his side, even in sleep, he didn't want to put any pressure on their little baby girl. He touched Misaki's cheek. Misaki had the softest skin. It was glowing faintly. His skin was also flushed, the red looking totally adorable. "Misaki," he whispered, too soft for the sleeping boy to hear.

He looked away for a moment and realized he was very sticky. He needed a shower. Deciding to let Misaki sleep a while longer, he leaned down and kissed his hair, then got up and collected up clothes before heading to the bathroom.

In the shower, he scrubbed his body, noticing how tired his muscles were. They'd gone at it all night, which Usagi hadn't done in a few months. He'd been afraid of putting too much stress on Misaki's body. Last night…well, last night was the exception to the rule. His momentary worry when he'd started round four had vanished when Misaki's nails dug desperately into his back. He could confirm those marks now from the stinging as hot water hit them. They almost made him smile.

When he got out and returned to the bedroom. He noticed something was off. He looked to Misaki, wondering what was wrong. Then he had it. Misaki hadn't moved a millimeter since he'd left. "Misaki?" he asked.

Misaki didn't respond.

"Misaki?" he tried again, going over to the bed. He touched Misaki's shoulder. No reaction. "Misaki!" He pulled on the boy's shoulder and said boy flopped onto his back limply. There was no other reaction.

**…**

**Chapter Eighteen**

"Misaki!" Akihiko yelled, shaking his shoulders, trying not to jar their baby. "Misaki, please wake up." He gave up shaking him and touched his forehead. It was hot. Very hot. Too hot. Misaki was on fire and still he wasn't moving. He fumbled for his cell phone while still trying to wake his motionless lover. He called Nowaki.

"Hello," Nowaki said.

"Kusama-san, Misaki isn't moving!"

"What?" Nowaki asked, startled.

"Last night he seemed fine but I can't wake him."

"Is he burning up? Shaking or twitching?"

"Yes, no, no, he's not moving at all!"

Nowaki bit his lip. "Alright, get a cooled damp cloth and rinse his face and neck. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"You're not at work?"

"No, I was sleeping."

Akihiko didn't bother apologizing for waking him. He simply said thanks and hung up the phone. He regretfully released Misaki to go dampen a washcloth and brought it back. He brushed it over Misaki's flushed face. That finally got a reaction. Misaki's eyelids flickered but didn't open. "Misaki," he whispered. He kept patting the teen's face and neck. Soon Misaki was shivering but that seemed better than that utter stillness.

Akihiko touched Misaki's hand. It was still very limp and warm. He moved his hand to the youth's stomach and frowned. The baby was shifting constantly. She kicked and wriggled as if she knew something was wrong with her mother. Akihiko tentatively rubbed Misaki's stomach, trying to figure out if he could soothe the child, maybe Misaki would feel better as well. It seemed to work a little bit. The baby calmed until the ripples under Misaki's skin were more subtle.

He was unaware of how much time had passed before he heard the door buzzer. He pulled slowly away from Misaki and hurried downstairs.

Nowaki came in, wearing his white lab coat, and kicked off his shoes. "Pardon the intrusion," he said brusquely, all business. "Where is Misaki-kun?"

"Upstairs." Akihiko hastily led the young doctor up to his bedroom. Nowaki went immediately to the bedside and checked the boy's forehead, then pulled a stethoscope from his pocket. He popped it into his ears and pressed the other end to Misaki's heart. The heart beat was quick but steady. Next he shifted to the womb. The soft heart beat there was calm and easy. The baby was also shifting gently in a completely normal manner. Nowaki sighed in relief.

"What's wrong with him?" Akihiko asked.

"His heart is accelerated and he's got a fever. The baby seems fine though."

"But what caused this?"

"I don't know."

"How can you not know?" Akihiko was starting to get angry.

"Because I don't."

"But—"

"I don't know because this is completely unique. There isn't a manual for male pregnancy. All I know is that a male body is an extremely hostile environment for a fetus. Men are not designed to give birth and his body, regardless of any internal female parts, he is mostly male. I cannot treat this like a regular pregnancy. That sort of thing could prove fatal."

Akihiko froze. Finally he asked, "What are the baby's chances?"

“I couldn’t…”

“Please!”

Nowaki bit his lip. "Dammit, I can’t tell you because I do not know!"

That should have made Akihiko go insane with worry but he sensed Nowaki wasn't saying something. "What else?"

Nowaki blinked and looked at the feverish sleeper. "Birth isn’t easy, no matter what. Even taking into account that the stages are progressing normally, it doesn’t mean he can bring her to term.” He took a deep breath. “Nor that he would survive it.”

Akihiko's pain and anguish was so obvious that it scared Nowaki. He of course would react exactly the same if he thought Hiroki would die. "He could d-d…" He couldn't finish the word. He turned back to Misaki and leaned down to kiss him. "Please don't tell him, I don't want Misaki to worry."

"You shouldn't deal with this on your own." Nowaki looked at the man who was wracked with pain.

Usagi looked at the floor. "It's my fault he's like this. I'm the one who got him pregnant. If he dies, I won't…I can't—"

A slim hand gripped Akihiko's. Akihiko's eyes went round as he looked up into Misaki's hazy, emerald eyes. "Silly," Misaki said, "I won't die. And neither will Mikiko."

"Mikiko?" Usagi asked.

"Good name for the baby." Misaki blinked, trying to wake up despite the fever. "I like it, it sounds a bit like my name and like yours." He smiled slightly.

"No, we should name her after you." Akihiko was trying to distract him.

"How? My name is already a girl's name. There's no way to do it. Besides, I think Mikiko is beautiful."

Akihiko smiled and kissed him.

"I'll take my leave, shall I?" Both men by the bed had forgotten the doctor in the room.

"Thanks for coming, Kusama Sensei."

"Of course. You will still come in tomorrow for your checkup as planned?"

"Yes, doctor."

"Call if your fever rises again tonight."

"Yes."

"See you then." Nowaki started to leave then turned back. "Oh and Usami-san?"

"What?"

"If you and Misaki have sex again then confine it to one round per night."

Misaki's eyes were the size of saucers. Usagi however was smirking. "I'll do my best."

Nowaki looked at him sternly. Then he left.

"Misaki, about what you heard…"

Misaki rolled his eyes. "I will not die." Misaki offered his lover a warm smile, despite the fact that his heart was pounding with fear. "Don't worry." He kissed Usagi-san's cheek and said, "I'm gonna go back to sleep now." He closed his eyes and rolled over. He touched his navel. He really didn't want to die.

Akihiko climbed into the bed beside him and wrapped his arms protectively around the kid's body. He absolutely wouldn't die. Not with Akihiko by his side. Usagi kissed the back of his neck. "I love you Misaki."

"I love you too," Misaki whispered as he dozed off.

**…**

**Chapter Nineteen**

The next three weeks (week 21) passed with relative ease.

Well no, for Misaki, they were a bitch, but there were no three day sleep fests or fever limpness. Akihiko had become very protective. He'd taken to clinging to Misaki, much in the way he had when he was attached to Takahiro. He also liked to press kisses to Misaki's hair and forehead whenever he got the chance. It was adorable.

Of course, he was the one who'd caused most of the problems but he kept their nightly escapades to once a night and were mostly non-kinky and all with Misaki on his back as the now clearly visible baby bump made lying on his stomach impossible.

The other problem was that Usagi-san also wasn't allowing Misaki to leave the apartment to do "strenuous" tasks…like shopping. The fact remained that Usagi-san didn't know how to shop. Something had to be done about this.

As much as Misaki hated to ask other people for help, their food supply was getting dangerously unhealthy. He picked up the phone and called Aikawa-san.

Aikawa had only been over three or four times since Misaki had started to show and he'd always worn baggy clothes but now she would need to know if he wanted her help. "Hello, Aikawa-san?"

"Yes, is that you, Misaki-kun?"

"Yes um…I need some help."

"Anything for my favorite writer's muse."

Misaki blushed. "Can you help me with shopping? I need Usagi-san to let me go out."

She sounded confused when she replied. "Why is Sensei not letting you go shopping?"

"Because I'm…I'm…"

"What is it?"

"I'm pregnant." It was incredibly hard to say.

Aikawa was silent for a moment but the squee she gave ten seconds later was totally ear shattering. "You're pregnant?" she shrieked.

"Yes." Misaki was blushing very obviously now.

"And Sensei is being way overprotective of you?"

"He doesn't want me to get stressed or sick while I'm out on my own and I don't want him with me since it's too troublesome, for both of us."

"I completely understand. I needed to get Sensei to work on his deadline anyway."

Misaki moaned. "Is he late again?"

Aikawa's laughter was strained. "Isn't he always?"

"True." Misaki heaved a sigh. "Thank you, Aikawa-san. You're the best."

"It's nothing. See you in a little while."

"Thanks again, I'll go harass Usagi-san about his deadlines until you get here."

"Thanks. See you."

"Bye." They hung up and Misaki put a hand to his stomach. Now another person knew the secret. He couldn't decide if it made him feel uncomfortable or just awkward. The baby nudged him reassuringly and he felt a pleasant sensation warming him from that little move.

When Aikawa arrived with crème puffs she went straight up to Misaki and stared at his stomach. "Can I touch?" she whispered. Misaki suspected though that it was because she was trying not to squeal.

"Uh yes." Aikawa reached out tentatively and pressed a warm hand to Misaki's warmer stomach. The baby shifted under this new hand. She gasped and lost control, squealing loudly. "Oh wow this is so wonderful. Congratulations! But how did you get pregnant? You are a boy after all."

"I know but even Kusama-san doesn't really know how it happened."

"Kusama-san…That sounds familiar. Is he that tall, gorgeous doctor in _Junai Egoist_?"

"Yeah," Misaki said, turning red while Aikawa squeed.

"So he can't do a test or anything?"

Misaki shook his head. "He said that the test was too invasive and could hurt Mikiko."

"Oh, it's a girl?"

"Yes. Please don't make her a fan girl." Misaki's words were completely blunt.

Aikawa laughed. "Misaki-kun, with Sensei for a parent, she will become like that all on her own."

Misaki bit back a moan while the woman before him cackled.

"Anyway," she went on, "Misaki-kun, you get ready to go and I'll go talk to Sensei."

"Thank you," Misaki replied honestly.

Aikawa went upstairs with Misaki trailing behind. "Sensei!" she cried as she pulled open the office door. "Where is my manuscript?" She slammed the door behind her forcing Misaki to open it again and step inside while she glowered at the man sitting at the desk with a blank document open on the computer.

"I was just working on it."

"A likely story!" she snapped. "You need to get to work. And while you do, I'll be borrowing Misaki-kun."

Akihiko looked up sharply. "Borrow Misaki? For what?"

Aikawa glared. "He can't stay cooped up in the house, only leaving for doctor's visits. I'm taking him to the store so he can get some shopping done."

"I can go shopping for him!"

"Really?" Aikawa's look was completely patronizing. "You stick to actually meeting your deadlines. I'll take Misaki out."

"But he's pregnant. I don't want him to get hurt because someone sees him." As he spoke, Akihiko reached out and grasped Misaki's hand, pulling him closer and wrapping his arm around the boy and kissed his shoulder.

"Sensei, Misaki is as cute as any girl his age. No one will know the difference."

Akihiko hesitated. "If he gets hurt…" His grip tightened and Misaki winced slightly.

"Yes yes, now get to it!" She physically spun his chair to face the computer and lifted his hands from Misaki's stomach and placed them over the keys. "We'll be back soon."

"Misaki-kun!" she called heading back downstairs. "Let's be off." She slipped on her shoes and left with Misaki. "This will be fun."

…

Shopping was simple enough. Misaki was truly grateful that Mikiko behaved herself and didn't kick enough to send him to his knees. He still kept a large jacket on in the store to mask the baby bump from even the hardest scrutinizers.

He got everything they needed, enough for at least a week. Then he and Aikawa went to checkout and purchased their goods and went back to the apartment.

"Misaki!" Usagi whined, glomping him as he came in. He'd clearly gotten bored working and was waiting for them to return to the apartment.

" _Sensei!_ " Aikawa shrieked. She grabbed him and dragged him back upstairs. Misaki sighed and went to put away the groceries.

He got everything refrigerated put away and was nearly done stalking the cupboards and pantry when pain ripped through his stomach. "Not again," he muttered, pressing his hands to his stomach. "What's wrong?" Pain was becoming steadily more intense. Dammit…he didn't want to pester Usagi-san while he was working. He couldn't hold back a cry when a sharp stab of pain cut through the intense pain he already felt like it was indigestion. He shrieked once more and collapsed to the floor.

**...**

**Chapter Twenty**

Akihiko heard a muffled shriek from the kitchen and was out of the office, down the stairs and into the kitchen in a matter of seconds. Misaki lay unconscious on the floor. "Misaki!" he cried, dropping to his knees. "Misaki!"

Misaki whimpered as he started to come to and the pain rescinded. "Usagi-san," he whispered.

"I'm here."

"Misaki-kun? Sensei? Is everything alright?" Aikawa had followed Usagi downstairs, stopping outside of the kitchen.

"It's fine!" Misaki rasped. He touched his stomach tenderly. Mikiko was fine as well.

That was when what Nowaki had said truly hit him. It wasn't the child. It was him. His body was rejecting Mikiko. It was all him. That was too much for his already stressed mind and he burst into uncontrollable tears.

"Misaki?" Akihiko murmured. "What is it?"

"It's my fault. I'm the one hurting Mikiko-chan."

"What are you talking about?" Usagi asked, confused.

"Kusama-san said it was me, not her. My pain is well deserved."

Akihiko wanted to smack some sense into his pregnant lover. "Misaki, that's not your fault."

"Of course it is!" Misaki sobbed out.

"No," Akihiko said adamantly. "The fact that you're even having a baby is a miracle. What happened to before, when you said everything would be alright?"

"But I don't care about myself. I just want Mikiko to be okay."

"Misaki, I never had an interest in having children. When you got pregnant, I decided that I was more than willing to be a father. However, I can't do that without you. I love you more than anything else. Misaki, child or not, you are and always will be the most important thing in the world to me. Don't ever think that the pain you're suffering is your fault. If anything, it's mine."

Misaki's eyes opened. "Th-that's not true."

"Then that goes for you as well, right?"

Misaki bit his lip and nodded. Akihiko smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead before pressing another to his lips before helping him to his feet. Misaki staggered a bit but the pain in his body and heart was beginning to fade. "Thanks," he murmured.

Akihiko smiled but didn't let go of the teenager. He slid his hand down to Misaki's stomach, touching the taut skin. "Everything is alright, yes?"

Misaki nodded. "You can let me go now."

"I don't want to."

Misaki rolled his eyes. Then they bugged.

Akihiko's hand had slid down to his waist and past, cupping Misaki's crotch. Misaki gasped and jerked away. "Usagi-san!"

Akihiko smirked, his attempt to distract Misaki successful. "Shall I be good or naughty?"

"Good, please!" Misaki snapped. "I have to finish putting away groceries."

Akihiko sighed and pressed another kiss to Misaki's lips. "Fine…but in exchange, I shall be extra naughty tonight."

"But Kusama-san said not a lot!"

Akihiko just smirked.

Misaki glowered. "Go! Go work on your deadline." He physically shoved his lover out of the kitchen before returning to putting away groceries. _Please, Mikiko-chan, please be better behaved than your father._

…Week 23…

Nowaki found Misaki on a patient's bed yet again. "Hello Misaki-kun, how are you today?"

"I'm pretty good." Misaki looked better than he had the last time he'd seen him. There was some color in his cheeks and he held his ever growing belly with gentle, loving hands. Akihiko, who stood to the side, watching silently. "I haven't had any…issues in about two weeks."

"That's good. And perfectly normal. Morning sickness should be fading now, as should the intense cramps and hunger pangs. Let's take a look, shall we?" At Misaki's nod, he flipped on the machine and rubbed gel over Misaki's stomach before pressing the ultrasound sensor into the gel and moving about. At nearly a foot long, the baby was easily visible now. "There she is."

"Now then, you ought to take Lamaze classes but I think we can settle on a DVD explaining everything. You also need to take iron and calcium supplements." Misaki nodded and allowed Nowaki to wipe off the gel. "Remember to do light workouts but nothing too strenuous and make sure to eat a balanced diet."

"Thank you, Kusama Sensei," Misaki said. He and Akihiko left and Nowaki wandered back to the pediatrics wing.

Tsumori looked up at his kouhai's arrival. "That friend of yours?"

Nowaki nodded. "He's finally doing better."

"That's good. How long are you on today?"

"Just another hour, then I'm going to meet Hiro-san for dinner."

"Ooh, like a date?"

Nowaki grinned. "Exactly like a date!"

"You're lucky. You two have been together for what…nine years?"

"Yeah." Nowaki's smile was infectious, forcing Tsumori to smile as well.

Well, okay, smirk. "And you still go on dates?"

"Of course! We love each other."

Tsumori affected a pathetic look. "I wish I had someone like that."

"I'm sure you'll find someone like that." Nowaki clapped him on the shoulder. "Just don't try to take my Hiro-san."

"Nah, he's too cold." Tsumori shivered.

"Senpai!" Nowaki looked like a kicked puppy.

"Don't worry, you can keep your precious Hiro-san."

Nowaki was nearly pouting. He didn't like anyone else call Hiroki Hiro-san.

Tsumori grinned. "Let's get to work. The children are calling."

Nowaki nodded. He could practically hear the kids yelling for their favorite doctors. They left the back room and headed into the ward.

**...**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

Nowaki was pretty worn out by the time his shift had finally ended. He changed and slowly walked down to the lobby. He opened the door and saw Hiro-san leaning against a wall and waiting for him. "Hiro-san!" he called.

Hiroki looked up and glowered at his lover. "Don't yell across the room," he growled as the tall doctor approached.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it."

Hiroki rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's go." He stalked past Nowaki toward the main doors. Nowaki followed, resembling an oversized puppy dog and bouncing happily in Hiroki's wake.

The two walked out of the hospital together and headed back home. "Aren't we going out?" Nowaki asked.

"Yes, but we need to look better." Hiroki looked down at his grimy work clothes, covered with chalk and dust from a pile of old books that collapsed on top of him. Really it was just he who needed to change. Nowaki looked as gorgeous as he always did.

"I see. I am covered in sweat."

"No, you look fine," Hiroki blurted before he could shut his mouth.

Still, he was rewarded with Nowaki's heated smile. "Hiro-san…I love you."

"Me too," Hiroki muttered, glad the twilight hid his blush. "Come on."

…

Dinner was a quiet affair at a family style restaurant. Nowaki flirted and teased Hiroki, who growled and blushed in turn. They walked home, hand in hand, and talked about nothing. Both of them could feel the tension—or rather, need, in the air between them. Hiroki picked up the pace, knowing that, unless they got home very shortly, Nowaki was going to start before they could reach their apartment.

Unfortunately, for Hiroki, Nowaki couldn't wait any longer. Tightening his grip on his lover's hand, he dragged the smaller man into the park they happened to be passing. They ducked into the trees just beyond the play area, Hiroki only half heartedly struggling. Outside wasn't exactly ideal but they hadn't done it in over a week. Besides, ideal was overrated.

No sooner were they out of sight of the road then Nowaki spun the older man against a tree and pinned his arms over his head. "Hiro-san…" he breathed before kissing him fervently. Hiroki gasped and kissed back just as hard. His arms started to ache from being held up but he barely noticed under Nowaki's onslaught of feverish kisses. Meanwhile, Nowaki's other hand was sliding up Hiroki's shirt. Hiroki let out a whimper as it traced the planes of his stomach before gliding up to brush a nipple. Hiroki gasped into the kiss, allowing Nowaki's tongue entrance.

Nowaki tweaked the nipple, eliciting a sensual moan from Hiro-san and proceeded to toy with again and again until he felt Hiroki's weight sag as his knees buckled under the pleasure. Nowaki released his arms gently, allowing him to slowly slide to the ground, the scratch of the tree bark only adding to the sensations shooting through his pleasure filled body.

Nowaki dropped to his knees and started scrabbling with Hiroki's pants, murmuring the man's name over and over. He finally got the pants shoved down past his knees and leaned down, engulfing Hiroki in his mouth without a millisecond's hesitation. Hiroki choked back a groan as he braced himself against the tree trunk. Nowaki's tongue could do wondrous things as it raced over his raging erection.

Hiroki felt the pleasure building. He was so close… Nowaki swallowed as he came, crying out way too loudly. The very, very small part of his mind that was still rational and not a pleasure hungry and needy uke forced his hands tightly over his lips to keep the cries in. Nowaki looked up as he released his lover's somewhat wilted erection and met Hiroki's eyes. They bugged when Nowaki poked out his tongue to lick a dribble of cum off his upper lip slowly…so slowly. Hiroki felt his erection coming back just from that. Nowaki noticed and grinned evilly. "Hiro-san is tasty."

Before Hiroki could say anything, he pounced. He leaned forward quickly, meeting Hiroki's lips, silencing anything he wanted to say, and then pulled him up onto his knees around his, his hands coursing up and down his back and backside while Hiroki's tightly gripped his shoulders as he fought to keep his balance on pleasure weakened legs.

Their tongues danced while Nowaki released Hiroki's back to open his own pants. He freed himself, ran his fingers over Hiroki's cum soaked erection and then returned his hands to the older man's ass. He traced the crack for a moment before piercing his entrance. Hiroki choked and broke the kiss with a gasp. Nowaki didn't stop, only moved on to kissing his neck and along his collar bone, adding a second and then a third finger

Hiroki tried to breathe without moaning in ecstasy when Nowaki finally pulled him down onto his massive erection. He lost control and released Nowaki's shoulders, trusting him to keep his body upright, and covered his mouth once more. That was becoming useless though as Nowaki started to pump his erection in tempo with every thrust, doubling the pleasure that raced to his brain. He had to do something…

The orgasm hit him hard. He released his mouth and dropped his head forward, biting the exposed flesh of the bend where Nowaki's neck and shoulder met. Nowaki winced as the pain lanced through the pleasure. It was so good. He'd never really known that pain and pleasure worked so well together. He came suddenly, Hiro-san's teeth still in his neck. "Hiro-san," he gasped as he expelled the last of his cum and sagged backward, pulling Hiroki to the ground with him. "Wow…Hiro-san!"

Hiroki couldn't say anything as he released Nowaki's throat. He grimaced, looking at it. He'd broken a couple layers of skin. It wasn't bleeding, but he'd have one hell of a hickey in the morning. He slid sideways, off Nowaki to rest on the ground, using Nowaki's arm as a pillow.

"I love you, Hiro-san," Nowaki whispered, rolling his head to press a soft kiss to Hiroki's hair.

"I love you too," Hiroki murmured after a moment.

"Hiro-san?"

"What?"

"You wanna do it again?"

Hiroki stared up into Nowaki's blue eyes. "Are you insane?"

Nowaki chuckled and pulled Hiroki into an embrace. "Fine, we can wait til we get home."

"Dumbass," Hiroki muttered, not even trying to deny him.

… _In another apartment…_

Misaki woke up in Usagi-san's sleepy embrace. He sat up and pressed a hand to his stomach. The baby shifted gently, sending out warmth through Misaki's entire body. Misaki stood stiffly and stretched before heading into the bathroom. He glanced at his torso in the mirror and froze.

Then he shifted, twisting his upper body. His chest jiggled.

Fucking jiggled. "Oh no…no no no!"

**...  
**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

Misaki stared silently. What the hell? Why the hell did he suddenly have boobs?

They were small, very small, but they were there nonetheless. He poked at one and gasped as pain rippled from it. It hurt!

"Misaki?" Usagi's sleepy voice carried from the bedroom.

Gulping he called, "What is it, Usagi-san?"

"Come back to bed."

"I…I need to make breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."

"Th-that doesn't matter. You have to eat three square meals each day." He couldn't let Usagi-san see. He liked boys and Misaki was turning into a girl. A bloody girl!

That horrible thought made him go pale. What if Usagi lost interest in him when he saw his effeminate body? He was already pregnant which was something men didn't get, but boobs as well? Misaki continued to stare silently at his body. Breasts were unattractive on men. He already thought Usagi-san was crazy for taking an interest in his body. He would have to be completely mad to continue to do so.

Evidently, he'd been very distracted because Usagi-san wrapped his arms around him from behind. "What's wrong?"

"Ah uh, Usagi-san!" Misaki flinched when he realized his lover hadn't bothered to put on any clothes at all. Even though Misaki was shirtless, he was wearing loose pajama bottoms.

Akihiko's cool hands, which rested on the baby bulge, started to move. One massaged gently while the other slid upward to touch his chest. His hand touched a nipple and Misaki cringed. Akihiko stopped. "Misaki?"

"Y-yes?"

"Are your nipples tender?"

"What—owww!" Akihiko squeezed gently. "You asshole!"

Akihiko gripped his shoulders and turned him. He stared into Misaki's green eyes and then drifted down to his chest. "That's new."

"It's weird and gross, I know." Misaki looked at the ground turning scarlet.

"Misaki, it's not gross. You're having a baby. Don't you need to give her milk?"

"Well yeah but—"

"But nothing." Akihiko leaned down and kissed his lips, Frenching him quickly before dropping to his knees and sucking delicately at a nipple. Misaki whimpered, pleasure and pain fighting for dominance. The blond man suckled harder and jerked, pulling back suddenly.

"Wh-what is it?" Misaki sputtered.

"Milk," Usagi whispered. "Milk came out."

"Eh?" Misaki looked down. Sure enough, white droplets oozed from the puckered nipple his lover had been pleasuring.

He freaked. He couldn't help it. With tears in his eyes, Misaki shoved past Usagi-san and stumbled out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom. He fumbled in the dresser for a shirt and yanked it over his enlarged chest and belly.

"Misaki!" Akihiko called after the boy but he was ignored. The boy sat on the bed as tears welled in his eyes. This sucked. It was all too much. The fact that Usagi-san continued to look his way when he looked like this was miracle enough.

Now he had milk coming out of him.

It was weird.

Gross.

Pitiful.

He fell back against the bed as his lover opened the bedroom door he'd been too distracted to lock. "Misaki…"

Misaki didn't respond, wallowing in self-disgust.

"Misaki," he said more firmly. When Misaki still didn't answer, Usagi punctuated the word by hopping onto the bed and crouching over Misaki's distended stomach.

Misaki could hardly ignore that. He looked up at Usagi-san with over bright, emerald eyes. "What?" he asked finally.

Akihiko leaned down and captured his lips. "Misaki, I love you," he murmured, tasting salt. "I love you, all of you, no matter how you change. I will always love you and there's nothing you can do to change it."

The problem was that Misaki couldn't bring himself to believe that statement. Unconditional love just didn't exist. He knew that Usagi-san wouldn't have looked twice at him if he had been a girl; if he hadn't been his first love's little brother. If not for that connection, they'd never have met. Usami Akihiko would have been a faceless name that Misaki heard complimented on for his writing prowess. Misaki himself would have been a high school graduate working part time jobs to make ends meet and trying desperately to get into Mitsuhashi again and again. Their lives might never have crossed.

Could this love possibly overcome that? Misaki's doubts were strong. Very strong.

He shut his eyes and let his head loll hopelessly to the side.

Akihiko looked exasperated. How could Misaki refuse to believe him? There was no one else. He loved every inch of Misaki regardless of appearance. He loved his innocent stubbornness, his reckless outrage, his beauteous eyes…everything. And yet he still couldn't get that across to Misaki's shielded and paranoid heart.

He bit his lip and lifted himself off of his young lover. Surprised, Misaki opened his eyes. "What—?"

Akihiko's amethyst eyes looked at the coverlet as he spoke. "What do you want, Misaki? You want me to say I want the non-pregnant you? That I miss being able to pound you into a mattress without worrying that I'd be seriously harming our baby?"

Misaki looked petrified. This was what he was dreading. He lay motionless but gulped audibly.

Akihiko stared at the obvious fear and rolled his eyes. "While I love being able to pound you into the mattress, I don't want that right now. How can I get you to understand? I don't care one iota what you look like. You. Will. Always. Be. My. Misaki." He kissed his forehead briefly and then kissed his lips chastely. "Please grasp that."

Misaki stared for one more second. Then he burst into tears as he reached up and pulled Akihiko into a fierce embrace. "Usagi-san," he gasped through his sobs. "Usagi-san…"

**...**

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

_One month since last chapter, Week 27_

Weeks passed with some relative normalcy for a change. Misaki got heavier and heavier and sex became less frequent to Usagi's disappointment. Misaki occasionally felt pain in his stomach but it was easily ignored in favor of his positively aching back and chest. He'd gone to see Nowaki the day his chest had grown to learn that he wasn't exactly developing breasts. Part of being internally female, something that Nowaki had confirmed with this, was having mammary glands, albeit very small ones. When they had begun to lactate—produce milk, the glands had swelled gradually until they no longer had anywhere to except out, stretching the skin and making Misaki's chest swell outward. On top of that, Nowaki explained that the baby had increased the estrogen in his system. Excess estrogen could cause the growth of breasts. Misaki truly hoped that they would recede once Miki-chan no longer needed them.

But now that his torso ached all over, he'd begun walking with one hand under his stomach and the other pressed against the small of his back.

Today was better than most. He'd managed to cook some ramen and rice before having to sit down. Akihiko had offered to cook the rest of lunch but Misaki had simply grabbed a phone to order takeout.

On top of that, the crib and other furnishings designed to convert Misaki's old room into a nursery arrived on time. The delivery men had even helped move Misaki's bed out. Akihiko had called a storage facility to pick it up. It was in good condition and they could use it again once the baby was older.

"Usagi-san, do you think we should tell your brother and father about Mikiko?"

Usagi froze for about a split second before he said, in a flat, dead voice, "No."

"Usagi-san," Misaki started.

"Why should we tell them?"

Misaki stared at him. "Because Usagi-chichi is going to be a grandfather and Usagi-ani is going to be an uncle! I think that's reason enough."

"I don't."

"Usagi-san!"

"Misaki," Usagi put down his chopsticks, "Do you really want to tell them? They aren't even a part of our lives anymore."

"Even if my brother wasn't part of my life anymore, I'd still want him to know."

Akihiko looked away, thinking. "Fine," he said finally. "If that's what you want."

"It is."

"I'll call Tanaka and have him pass along the message."

"Usagi-san!" Misaki yelped.

"What?"

"We have to at least talk to them."

"Why?"

"Because it's rude otherwise." Misaki looked down at the table. "I know your father doesn't exactly approve of us. Maybe the baby and the fact that I'm at least kind of…a girl…" This was seriously hard to say. "He might like it better."

"You're not a girl! And I don't give a damn about his approval," Akihiko said flatly, starting to eat once more.

Misaki blushed but otherwise ignored the first statement. "And your brother might stop thinking about me in that fashion…" he trailed off, recalling their meeting at Marukawa Publishing and that day in the Doyama District...

"I'd prefer if he didn't think about you in any fashion," the other man muttered darkly.

Misaki rolled his eyes. "Can we just call them and invite them over for tea?" Seeing this wasn't enough he stirred the pot a bit, using his hormonal state to say, rather crassly, "Of course, your father might see me and have a heart attack and when Usagi-ani sees my stomach he might finally accept that I'll never be his." He cringed saying that, but it had the desired results.

Akihiko's expression brightened at the prospects. He even managed a small chuckle that made Misaki wonder why he'd never been able to draw such a look out of him without being a clumsy idiot or naked and under him. Did Usagi-san really have such a morbid sense of humor?

"Fine, we'll arrange for them to come over tomorrow." Akihiko's words interrupted his thoughts.

"Ah yes, thank you, Usagi-san." Misaki gave him a sparkling smile that made his everything melt…except for one very specific part that was getting harder by the second. He started to lean down but Misaki groaned as pain ripped through his torso as the baby started kicking him. Not even out of the womb and the baby was causing him trouble.

Akihiko grimaced as he realized how much that part of his mind sounded like Hiroki. "Usagi-san, what is it?" Misaki asked, holding his stomach painfully. The man felt guilty. Misaki was in pain and he was thinking about other things.

"I love you, Misaki!" he said, hugging him gently, going for distraction.

"…I love you too." Misaki wrapped his arms gently around his lover's neck. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Akihiko pulled back and kissed him. "Are you okay?"

"What? Oh yeah, it's fine. Mikiko-chan is just shifting arou—" he stopped suddenly.

"Misaki? What is it? Misaki?"

Misaki felt a clenching pain just below the baby. He cried out sharply, sagging into Usagi's arms.

" _Misaki!"_

The pain stopped abruptly. Misaki straightened. "I'm okay. Really I'm fi…ine…" he doubled over again, screaming.

"Misaki what is it?"

"I think it's a contraction!" Misaki gasped.

Purple eyes bugged. "What? You…you're having the baby now?"

"I think so…"

"But it's too early!"

"Yeah I noticed that!" Misaki growled through gritted teeth. "Can you…take me to the hospital please?"

"I--yes." Akihiko scooped up his lover and carried him out of the apartment and to the car. Misaki lost track of time as he struggled with the contractions and fear.

He was terrified. The baby was coming so early.

Too early.

Way too early.

Misaki knew from the DVDs that Nowaki had recommended that immature babies were prone to weak systems, brain damage and death. He was only twenty-seven weeks along. Between that and his "hostile environment" he was petrified. If Mikiko died… Another contraction made him sob.

Akihiko struggled to focus on the road when he could clearly see tears pouring down his cheeks. "Misaki, everything will be okay. You'll be fine, the baby will be fine. I'm sure of it."

Misaki gave a half nod miserably and winced as pain hit him again. "Call, Kusama Sensei," he gasped out.

Akihiko nodded and fumbled for his cell phone. He called the doctor who said he would be in soon but would have Dr. Onari meet them there. Akihiko clicked off the phone and picked up the pace.

"Don't speed!" Misaki hissed. "We don't want to get pulled over."

"Misaki, we need to get to the hospital."

"We're two miles away, relax."

"How can I possibly relax?" But Akihiko did ease up on the gas pedal…as they pulled into the hospital parking lot.

**…**

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

"Braxton-Hicks contractions?"

"Yes," Nowaki said. "They're fairly typical around this time, maybe a bit earlier but, as I've said, your pregnancy will be different. Braxton-Hicks contractions feel like real contractions but the baby is not at risk of being born. You just ignore them unless they get about far more worse. Then you're in danger of going into labor."

Misaki and Usagi just stared at him. Finally, Akihiko said, "So he's not about to have the baby?" just as Misaki said, "This is going to get worse?”

"No he's not and yes it will," Nowaki answered.

Misaki's expression was torn between relief and horror. After a moment, he settled on relief and eased back on the bed, his back becoming less stiff with each second. He ran his hands over his distended belly, feeling the baby shift just under his skin. "Just stay put for a while longer, Mikiko-chan. Just a few more weeks…"

"Yep, and then the baby will be born. I like the name, by the way, very cute!"

"Thank you," Misaki murmured, his hands still massaging his stomach. Then something occurred to him. "Um, Kusama Sensei?"

"Yes?"

"Well…how is Mikiko…getting out of me? I do know something...of anatomy." He swallowed hard, turning slightly red. "Enough to know that there's nowhere for Mikiko to go."

"We'll be performing a Caesarian Section. Basically, we'll cut open your…womb and take Mikiko-chan out. It's safer for both parties."

Misaki nodded, understanding. Not necessarily interested in having his belly cut open but if it was safer for Miki-chan. The baby shifted; seeming to be reassuring. Misaki smiled then and Akihiko smiled as well.

…

At home, Misaki grimaced, having found a rather large pile of boxes piled by the door. "Usagi-san, you didn't buy more clothes for Miki-chan, did you?"

Akihiko said nothing, merely smiling, ever so slightly.

Misaki started to mutter something about idiotic rabbits when a man came around the pile of boxes. "Akihiko," he murmured. Then he looked down at Misaki and his eyes widened.

Misaki stared back, gently holding his stomach. "Usagi-chichi…"

They all stared at each other for a moment before Misaki remembered his manners and sputtered out, "Um, would you like to come in and have tea?"

"Uh, yes," Usami Fuyuhiko replied. "Thank…thank you."

Misaki fumbled for his keys and grabbed Akihiko's hand and dragged him inside as the older man muttered, "Damn, no heart attack." He held the door to allow Usagi-chichi entrance before pulling it shut. "I'll get the tea," he said, hurrying off. Usagi and Fuyuhiko stared at one another. Finally, Akihiko jerked his head and went to the living room.

They sat down and Misaki returned a minute or so later after growing irritated by the utter silence between father and son. "So, Fuyuhiko-san," he trembled slightly at addressing him by that name but Usagi-chichi and Usami-san seemed too informal and formal respectively, "I'm pregnant."

"I can see that. How, though?" He did look rather perplexed.

"Kusama Sensei told me that it's possible—probable that I am…female on the inside." Misaki heard the whistle of the tea kettle and he jumped up. "Excuse me."

Fuyuhiko stared after the young man. Then he looked back at his son. "I'm going to be a grandfather?" he asked.

"Yes," Usagi said flatly.

"I'm happy."

"That's great."

Fuyuhiko sighed. "I'm happy for you. Raising children is—"

"Is what, father?" Akihiko spat out. All the dislike he held for his father from the last thirty years was spilling out. "You didn't raise me. You certainly didn't raise Haruhiko. You don't know the first thing about parenting so don't even say anything!"

"Usagi-san!" Misaki cried, staring at the two men over a tea tray. "Please try to be respectful to your father."

Akihiko looked at him. "I don't want to."

"And I don't care," Misaki shot back, irritation raising his voice.

Akihiko pursed his lips. He reached out a hand and pulled Misaki close, hardly waiting for Misaki to set down the tray before pulling him down into his lap. "I'm not going to," he murmured into the brunet's ear.

"Stop it," Misaki replied darkly. Louder, he said, "Who wants tea?"

"I can pour," Usagi-chichi said hastily, glimpsing the look of pure fury on Akihiko's face over the possibility that Misaki might have to vacate his lap.

"That's not necessary," Misaki started.

"I insist," Fuyuhiko replied. He reached for the kettle and poured it into the three small cups. He handed two to Misaki and Akihiko and then took his own and sipped it delicately. "Now then, is there anything you need, for the baby, I mean?"

"We're fine," Akihiko growled, running a hand protectively over Misaki's protruding stomach.

"If you need money—"

" _I have money!_ " Usagi snarled. "I don't need your help, we don't need your help and if you think you're going to influence our situation in any way then you've got another thing coming!"

Fuyuhiko's mouth worked for a moment. Finally, he said, "Fine. I'll leave this in your hands. I shall merely be a doting grandparent. I need to be that at least since there aren't any others."

Plain flashed in Misaki's eyes. His parents may have died thirteen years ago but having it brought up upset him greatly. He tried to put a brave face on it. "Well, I suppose that's true, please take care of us."

Akihiko felt the slight shiver from Misaki ripple through his body. "Why did you bring that up?"

"It's true." Fuyuhiko shrugged.

"It's unnecessary."

Fuyuhiko nodded and sipped the last of his tea. "Very well, I'll take my leave then." He got to his feet.

"Oh!" Misaki scrambled out of his lover's lap. "Thank you for coming! If you could pass this on to Haruhiko-san?"

"Of course," Fuyuhiko replied. "Oh, I have something for you." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a keychain. On it was a small, carved bear and a small salmon.

"Ah, thank you!" Misaki said happily.

"You're welcome. Ah, could you tell me, do you know the sex of the baby?"

"She's a girl. Her name will be Mikiko."

A smile flickered into Usagi-chichi's eyes. "Pretty name. I'll be seeing you."

"Yes," Misaki replied as he left. "Bye."

"Bye."

**...**

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

_Two weeks later…Week 29_

Misaki was getting bored. With less pain to keep his mind focused and no school, the only things he had left were cooking and cleaning. And he couldn't even do those things all that well.

Usagi tried to be helpful but Aikawa had arrived two days before and never left for more than a few minutes. She always returned with crème puffs for Misaki and an irritated expression for the man failing to meet his deadlines yet again.

Misaki was just taking a break in the living room when an ecstatic Aikawa burst from the office with a stack of papers. "Misaki-kun!" she cried. "Do you want to go shopping?"

"Yes," Misaki said with a forced smile. He really did need to go out. He'd felt awful last week and Usagi had gone instead. It hadn't been pretty. So much expensive food that Misaki wasn't sure how to cook. The rest were things that Akihiko thought would be useful. They weren't.

"Let's go!"

Misaki got to his feet, pressing a hand to his stomach. "Okay."

Akihiko emerged from the office, gray-faced and desperately in need of a cigarette. Misaki had banned them though. Maybe he could tap Misaki for strength. He felt mildly enraged when he saw that Misaki was putting his shoes on. "Where?"

"Aikawa-san is taking me to the store. I'll be back soon." He left before Usagi could work himself up enough to get downstairs and physically stop him.

As the front door slammed, he sagged on the balcony railing. His head hung limply and he didn't move again for the entire hour that Misaki was gone.

When Misaki came in with Aikawa-san, he yelped, seeing Usagi's motionless body looking ready to fall off the balcony. He dropped his groceries as adrenaline made him forget he was pregnant. He staggered up the stairs, panting. "Usagi-san!" he gasped. He grabbed Usagi's shoulder and pulled.

The man stood immediately, wrapped his arms around the boy and pulled him into his room. Aikawa watched the door slam shut and squealed like the fangirl she was _._ She then put away the groceries in high spirits, giggling her head off. When a moan split the air she giggled even harder. She really had to restrain herself from going upstairs and peeking in.

But she didn't. She left when she heard no more sounds from Sensei's bedroom.

Upstairs, Misaki was trying to decide whether he was in pleasure or pain. His body ached, but his mind was in a state of utter bliss. Akihiko had sucked him off with torturous sweetness before very gently penetrating him while he sat in his lover's lap.

That moan that Aikawa had heard was when Misaki came again. He fell asleep a few moments later, wrapped in Usagi's arms. Usagi had more or less been sleeping when he'd leaned on the balcony. Now he was wide awake and happily staring at his precious Misaki's sleeping face.

"Misaki," he whispered. "I love you. Mikiko, I love you too," he addressed the stomach, pressing gently against it. The imprint of a foot pressed out at the top of Misaki's stomach, as if acknowledging Akihiko. The man grinned and touched the foot. It retracted and Akihiko felt his pulse quicken. Just like Misaki, this baby was so adorable. And she wasn't even born yet.

"Mm, Usagi-san…"

"Yes, my love?"

"Go to sleep and stop talking."

Akihiko raised an eyebrow. "So blunt today."

Misaki ignored him, falling asleep again. Akihiko sighed and kissed Misaki's hair. Then he looked down at Misaki's stomach and said, "You won't ignore daddy, will you?"

No response from the baby. “Just like Misaki…" he muttered, somewhat darkly.

… _Two weeks later…Week 31…_

Misaki had spent more time asleep than awake. He had gained a lot of weight over the past few days. He couldn't bring himself to get out of bed most of the time. He had this horrible feeling that the apartment was falling into disrepair because he wasn't able to clean it.

Akihiko wasn't much help in that regard. He fed Misaki and let him sleep in, indulging him, spoiling him. The problem was that he wouldn't let Misaki clean even when he was feeling up to cleaning. It was annoying.

He only got out of bed to do minor exercises that the doctors ordered but everything was strenuous. This pregnancy had taken a turn for the worse. Nowaki had said that this pregnancy might be hard but seriously, if pregnancy was always like this then how did women survive it? He wasn't sure he would.

And that was how he felt for the next four weeks.

_Week 35_

Misaki was losing his mind. There was nothing he could do except lie in bed and worry about the baby. He was worrying so much that pain was filling the pit of his stomach. Really bad pain, coming in waves, fading and starting again. He winced. This was crazy. It hurt worse than Braxton-Hicks.

Oh shit… Misaki tried desperately to reassure himself. It had to be just false labor, right? The baby shifted under Misaki's skin.

It wasn't false labor. Misaki knew it. He was definitely in trouble this time. "Usagi-san!" he yelled.

Usagi appeared in the bedroom. "What is it?"

"Mikiko-chan…she wants out now!"

"You sure?" Akihiko asked, his face concerned but also somewhat lit up.

"Yes," Misaki gasped. It was still too early. And yet…there was nothing else. He was going into labor.

**...  
**

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

Akihiko carried his hyperventilating lover into the emergency room the moment they arrived. He was so panicked that he simply parked in the loading bay and ignored hospital staff who yelled angrily at him. When one grabbed his arm, he was stared down, but Usagi tossed him the keys and jerked out of his grasp.

Inside, he found Dr. Onari waiting for them. They'd called ahead. She led them to a room where surgical tools sat on a metal tray, waiting. Another contraction started and Misaki whimpered in between heavy pants. "Just breathe," Onari Sensei murmured in a soothing voice. "Easy, easy." Misaki nodded, tears streaming. "I'm going to give you an Epidural. It will help." Another nod.

She glanced up at Akihiko whose eyes blazed purple. "You need to breathe too."

Misaki looked up and tried to look reassuring for his boyfriend. He reached out and grabbed Usagi-san's hand. Usagi's knuckles turned white as he gripped Misaki's palm. He nodded stiffly and pressed his other hand against Misaki's hair.

"Alright, I need you to lie down and curl into a ball as best you can in this situation." Misaki turned pale at the prospect but did as he was bid. "This might sting a little but then you'll be nice and numb."

"Okay," Misaki murmured. He winced as the epidural pinched through his skin. Akihiko stared at him with agonized eyes. Then it was over. Misaki slowly stretched out again but the contractions chose that moment to start again and pain lanced though him yet again. "Nng!" He thought he felt bones in Usagi-san's hand breaking but the older man said nothing, showed nothing but concern for Misaki. Misaki knew in that moment just how truly he loved Usagi-san. The man was…was utterly precious to him and he was precious to Usagi-san.

"Time for the surgery," Doctor Onari said. Misaki nodded. Akihiko hesitated, then nodded as well.

_Four Hours Later…_

Misaki and Akihiko and Mikiko-chan were all scrunched onto Misaki's recovery bed. Mikiko stared up at her parents with emerald eyes. She was a tiny thing, with little hands and a little face with a tiny nose and a tiny mouth. Between those and her huge eyes, she would have fit in perfectly as any shoujo manga baby. Her hair was blonde, though there was very little of it. She was also utterly beautiful.

Misaki was ecstatic. His little Miki-chan was actually in his arms and not wreaking havoc in his stomach. He couldn't stop smiling.

Akihiko just kept holding onto Misaki. He had been panicking for a few minutes in the delivery room. Misaki had been struggling and the baby had begun to struggle too, even as the doctor made the incision. Hooked up to a machine that monitored bodily functions, Misaki's pulse had become suddenly too high, then slacked off and had become thready. Misaki had given Akihiko a pained look that still managed to convey desperation before slumping forward.

He woke up a moment later, fear driving his heart rate high again. Akihiko had sighed with relief.

Then came Mikiko, screaming her head off but perfectly healthy. She was so lucky. They were so lucky. Misaki and Mikiko had come through it together.

Now everything would be fine. Misaki was sure of it.

Akihiko was not.

He was in full panic mode. He hid it well, but the paranoid belief that Misaki might not have survived hadn't receded yet. He wanted to hold Misaki and their child and lock them away and protect them from the world.

But he knew Misaki wouldn't stand for that. He wanted his freedom. Regardless of what it did to Akihiko.

A knock at the door made the two men look up. Takahiro stood in the window. He waved and Akihiko gestured to him to come in. Takahiro opened the door. "How are you, Misaki?" Up close, the lovers could see he was sweating nervously. Akihiko had called his house but Takahiro had been in a business meeting and unable to get away. Manami had finally gotten a hold of him as he was walking out of the meeting. She'd then had to explain to the coworker who picked up his cell phone that passing out over the situations his precious little brother got himself into was normal and all he had to do was get him into a taxi and send it to the train station.

He hadn't known whether Misaki was alright or not until he reached the hospital and talked to Dr. Onari. "Is this little Mikiko-chan?"

Misaki nodded and smiled. "Come meet your niece."

Takahiro approached and gently took the child from Misaki's arms. "Hello, my dear. I've only known you for ten seconds and you're already my favorite niece."

"Silly," Misaki murmured. "She's your only niece."

"Then it's perfect." He swayed gently holding the child delicately. "Miki-chan is so beautiful."

Misaki smiled and sagged against Usagi-san. Usagi tightened his grip on Misaki's shoulder. "Niisan, how is everything?"

"Oh, it's all fine. I'm much more worried about you."

"You needn't have. Everything was fine."

"Foolishness...you're my little brother. There's no way I couldn't not worry."

Misaki blushed. "How's Mahiro?" he asked.

"He's fine, but now he'll be even better because he'll have a little cousin to play with." Mikiko started to cry softly and Misaki took her back, kissing her forehead and rocking her gently. "Niisan, Usagi-san, I think we're going to sleep. Why don't you get some food while we nap?"

Takahiro nodded and smiled at his brother. Akihiko hesitated, not wanting to leave. Misaki gave him a stern look and he finally kissed Misaki on the lips and ruffled his hair. Then he kissed the baby's tiny cheek and extracted himself from the bed with only minimal jostling. The two men left and Misaki curled up on his side with the baby lying softly in his arms.

**...**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

"Akihiko, please be honest here. Can you look after my brother...and my niece, properly?" Takahiro asked as they walked toward the elevator.

Akihiko looked serious. "I will look after them to the best of my abilities. I can certainly support them financially and I love Misaki with every fiber of my being."

"And Mikiko-chan?"

"Of course. Takahiro, I love her too. I just don't know her yet."

Takahiro smiled. "What will happen when you do?"

"I suspect I shall be very over protective and allow no man save me, you and Misaki to be in close proximity to her."

Takahiro laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. "I believe you. Please look after my brother and Miki-chan."

"Of course."

They reached the cafeteria in the hospital basement. To their surprise, they saw Hiroki eating alone and looking annoyed. Seeing the other men only deepened his annoyance. "What are you doing here?"

"Misaki just had the baby."

Hiroki looked rather alarmed. "What? Everything is fine, right?"

"Of course, Misaki is perfectly capable of having a healthy child."

"He's a guy."

"Still," Akihiko replied blithely. Hiroki merely shook his head and watched as the two went to get in line. They joined him after with food in hand. "Why are you here?"

"Wh-wh-what does that matter?" Hiroki sputtered.

"You're in a hospital. I'm assuming it's either not for recreational reasons or," he smirked, "for _very_ recreational reasons."

Hiroki's face turned red with anger and embarrassment. Then he remembered who he was talking to and settled down. Finally he grumbled, "Nowaki was going to come down once he had time." It wasn't as if he could lie in this situation. "He's been busy though."

"He stopped by briefly to check on Misaki and Mikiko after the C-section."

"How was he?" Hiroki asked, unable to control the urge to speak.

Akihiko shrugged. He'd barely noticed the doctor beyond the fact that he was there. Then he turned to Takahiro. "How long are you staying?"

"As long as necessary. I have to look after my precious—"

"Takahiro, I can look after Misaki. Do you have to go back to work?"

Takahiro licked his lips. "Oh you know, I don't really. There's nothing major going."

Akihiko sighed. "Takahiro, you don't have to worry. Go back to work. Misaki probably won't wake up for a few hours anyway."

"But Usagi…"

Akihiko gripped his shoulder. "Go to work. Nothing will happen to them, I swear."

Takahiro's mouth worked for a moment then he abruptly got to his feet and bowed. "Please look after my brother."

It was so formal that it caught Hiroki by surprise. At last, Akihiko said, "I will."

Takahiro nodded and left. Hiroki looked back to Akihiko. "What's up with him?"

A smile touched Akihiko's lips. "He's giving me his brother."

Hiroki's brows drew together. "What does that mean?"

"Exactly what I said." He played idly with the straw in his juice box. "He's given his blessing on our relationship."

"He didn't do it already?"

"Not in so many words." Akihiko was really smiling now. Hiroki found it very strange. "I'm happy."

"Oi, Baka-hiko, you're getting weird on me."

"Am I?"

"Yes!" Hiroki was adamant.

"Interesting," Akihiko replied, making Hiroki roll his eyes. "I didn't realize my appearance was so very strange now."

Hiroki was reaching across the table to deck his best friend when Nowaki arrived. And all he saw was his Hiro-san reaching for Usami-san. It was bad. Insecure thoughts shot through his mind. He should know better by now, even as the hand swished violently at nothing as Akihiko pushed back his chair.

They still remained though.

Then Hiroki noticed him. "Oh finally!" He glowered at his lover. "What kept you?"

"There was an emergency." He glanced over at Akihiko who was getting up. "Usami-san, going back upstairs?"

Akihiko nodded. "I'll leave you to provide details for my next novel—Oh!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out several sheets of paper. "New short story, I need you to edit it before I go on."

Hiroki turned scarlet once more even as he took the pages and glared icily at the rapidly disappearing man. Then he slowly turned back to Nowaki. Seeing the insecurity touching his eyes, Hiroki sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "He came down with Takahiro-san. The brat's big brother. They ate and Takahiro had to go back to work. He left not ten minutes ago."

Nowaki nodded solemnly and Hiroki bit back a groan. He'd have to go and make some grand gesture of love now. Sheesh, how many more years would it be before Nowaki realized that no one would ever come between them? Hiroki knew that Nowaki wanted him and him alone and he himself had felt no particular desire for anyone in his life apart from Akihiko and Nowaki. Akihiko's boat had sailed a decade ago but Nowaki was still hunting for it at port. Metaphorically speaking.

Well he couldn't do anything this second. "You should eat," Hiroki murmured. "Then tell me about the emergency."

"Yes Hiro-san." Nowaki got up and went to the food queue.

Hiroki wondered why Nowaki was _obeying_ him. It was weird. But Akihiko had been acting off too. Maybe they were all normal and he was the one who was losing it. Nowaki returned and broke apart his chopsticks. He began to eat, not really looking at Hiroki.

Said man was getting annoyed. "Nowaki, what is it?"

"What is what?" he replied evasively.

"Nowaki," Hiroki growled.

"It's nothing."

Hiroki scoffed. "Don't give me that. I can't stand it when you're like this so tell me what it is so I can fix it."

Nowaki had to swallow the words: I want you to sever all your ties with Usami-san. It would be a wasted effort anyway. With all the parenting issues he and Misaki would have, Nowaki suspected that he would end up being the child's pediatrician. He would be dealing with Akihiko regularly for at least the next eighteen years. He found the thought rather perverse. Still he'd rather that be the only involvement he and Hiro-san had with Usami-san.

He also didn't understand how Misaki-kun could stand the guy but that was his prerogative. However, Hiroki and he weren't together anymore so why were they still willing to talk to each other, let alone be best friends?

"Nowaki?"

Nowaki realized he'd been silent for so long that Hiroki had grown concerned. "It's nothing, really."

Hiroki hesitated. He knew Nowaki still didn't believe him. He sighed and shoved the notes Akihiko had given him across the table. Nowaki looked at him questioningly. "The reason he has me read them first is because he wants to make sure everything is accurate." Hiroki was extremely red faced now.

Nowaki slowly unfolded the pages and began to read…

**...**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

_An Egotistic Valentine_ by Akikawa Yayoi

_Nowaki eyeballed the calendar. Valentine's Day was TOMORROW! He was so excited. To get chocolate from his precious Hiro-san would be an utter joy._

_A joy that was not to be had it seemed when he broached the subject with his precious lover as the man was getting out of the shower._

" _Valentine's Day is a holiday for girls," Hiroki growled, rubbing his hair. He hadn't bothered to bring clothes into the bathroom with him and now wore only a towel around his waist. A look Nowaki could not resist._

" _Still, I would be so happy to get chocolate from you, Hiro-san," Nowaki whispered and wrapped his arms around his small lover._

" _You're really excited, aren't you?" Hiroki grumbled with dawning realization. A realization of two things. One, he was about to be deliciously rammed from behind and two, he would still have to go buy chocolates._

" _Yes," Nowaki replied._

_In a matter of moments, Hiroki found himself braced heavily against a wall with his powerful lover pressing fingers, none too gently, into him. He whimpered and groaned out, "Can't we at least go to bed."_

" _We can tonight," Nowaki replied unbuttoning his pants._

" _What? Tonight? Again?"_

" _Definitely," Nowaki murmured and thrust into him with such force that Hiroki was driven to his knees. "Oh Hiro-san…I love you."_

" _Nng, Nowaki, harder, please."_

"That part is a bit off," Nowaki murmured. He was blushing slightly, something he rarely did.

Hiroki was staring pointedly at the floor. "Akihiko embellishes a bit for the readers. Even if I tell him to change it he won't."

"Then…then why does he want you to edit it?"

"The lead up has to be accurate."

Nowaki's eyebrows rose. "Hiro-san, you _told_ Usami-san that we had this conversation while you were in a towel?"

"Shut up!" Hiroki snapped. Nowaki had drawn the attention of the other diners with that last comment. "And no. He guessed. He's annoyingly good at it! Now you understand? There will never be anything further between Akihiko and I. He uses me _and_ you for his stories."

Nowaki bit his lip. Undeniable proof that Usami-san did not have designs on Hiro-san sat clenched in his hands. Finally he nodded.

"Finally! Now give me those."

Nowaki shook his head. "I want to read more."

"No, that's really not necessary since you've gotten the point."

"Oh but I want to see what else Usami-san _guessed._ "

"No!" Hiroki made a grab for the papers but Nowaki held them out of reach. "Nowaki, I'm serious, give them back."

"Why, is there something else I should know?" He flipped to the end, remembering something from Valentine's Day last year. Hiro-san had been very evasive about where he was when Nowaki had called him to thank him for the chocolates.

"Eh? You were hiding in the bathroom the entire time?"

Hiroki's silence was answer enough.

A smile touched Nowaki's lips. "Hiro-san… That's so adorable!"

"Shut up!" Hiroki snarled, looking livid.

"Oh but it is. I wish you would have come out though."

"Then you would have started doing something perverted."

"Is that so wrong?" Nowaki asked. "Making love to the man I love."

"Will you keep your voice down?" Hiroki rasped. People in the cafeteria were definitely starting to give them strange looks now.

"Oh but Hiro-san is my precious—" Nowaki's words were abruptly cut off by Hiroki's hand on his mouth.

"Not another word," Hiroki hissed.

Nowaki nodded but accompanied it was a soft kiss to Hiroki's palm that promised seduction tonight when he got off shift.

Just fantastic. Hiroki was about to go for Akihiko's story again when Nowaki's pager went off. "Oh dear, I guess my break's over," Nowaki murmured sadly. He got up and briefly touched Hiroki's cheek with soft fingertips. "I'll see you tonight." Then he left and took the notes with him.

Hiroki's hands balled into fists for a moment then gave up. It was no one's fault but his that he was in this current predicament. He sighed and unclenched his fists. Then he slowly got to his feet and picked up his bag and left the cafeteria.

…

Akihiko returned to the room to find Misaki, arms splayed and sound asleep. Usagi found it utterly adorable and looked from Misaki's face, very childish in sleep, to his somewhat swollen chest, filled with milk for feeding, to his much less swollen stomach. That was when he realized Mikiko was gone.

Misaki would not have allowed anyone to take their child without a fight. Akihiko cringed at the sight of how very still Misaki was. He was breathing but he could easily have been knocked unconscious. Akihiko could hear blood rushing in his ears as he swooped down on Misaki and began to shake him as he hung limply in the bigger man's arms.

**...**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

Misaki was so tired. He couldn't even bring himself to dream. But suddenly Usagi-san was calling for him…no, he was shouting at him. What the hell was wrong now? "Misaki!" _Alright, alright, I'm getting up._

Misaki opened his eyes slowly, much to Akihiko's relief. "Oh, Misaki," he whispered, holding him close to his chest.

Misaki blinked slowly, his head resting on Akihiko's shoulder. He could see a couple of nurses looking at them and whispering. "Usagi-san, what's wrong?"

"Mikiko isn't here. I thought…I thought she'd been taken and they'd hurt you to take her." Sure of his lover's safety, Akihiko's attention shifted to worry over his daughter.

"Of course she's not here," Misaki murmured, rubbing his eyes. The nurses were still watching. Too tired to be polite, he smiled slightly at them and waved them off. They nodded and left, looking back at the two.

"What do you mean?"

"Mikiko-chan is in the nursery with the other newborn babies. I wanted to sleep so they took her there."

"Why?"

"Well what else would I do with her? What if I fell asleep and rolled on top of her?"

"So she's alright?"

"Yes."

"And you're alright?"

"Of course. I'm always alright." Misaki's answer was too quick.

"Misaki…"

Misaki blushed and looked down at his lap. "I'm fine, really. I'm just tired and…" He pressed a hand gently to his flat stomach.

"And?"

Misaki licked his lips and smiled brightly. "And nothing. I just need to sleep some more. If you want to go check on Mikiko, a nurse can take you to her." Akihiko shook his head and climbed onto the bed. "Usagi-san, what—"

"I am going to sleep with you."

" _We're in a hospital!"_ Misaki shriek-hissed.

Akihiko paused. Then he smirked. "I wasn't thinking of that kind of sleeping together though doing it in a hospital would be an interesting turn of events."

"Save it for the fabricated nonsense in your shitty books." Despite his anger and frustration, he yawned.

"As I was saying, I didn't mean sex. I just want to hold you." Then he pulled Misaki close and wrapped his arms around the slim boy's back. Misaki fit into Usagi-san's body just the way it used to. Misaki blinked away tears and nuzzled into Akihiko's chest. He thought about how uncomfortable he would have felt doing this just a year ago even. Now all he wanted to do was bask in this comforting heat. Was he becoming pathetic and needy?

He shoved the thoughts away for another time. Right now he needed to sleep. He let his eyes slide shut and drowned in dreams of heat and sunshine and Usagi-san's warm embrace.

…

Misaki opened his eyes after the most comfortable sleep he'd had in weeks. He was still in the hospital bed but Usagi-san was no longer embracing him. He looked about and saw he was alone. "Usagi-san?" he called out. There was no answer. Misaki sat up, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion. Had he gone to see the baby? He started to get out of the bed but a crippling agony in his stomach and back made him slump back.

_Dammit!_ With exasperation, he pressed the call button. A minute later, a nurse came in. "Is everything alright?"

"I was wondering if I could see Mikiko-chan again."

The nurse nodded. "I'll get her for you."

"Oh, if you see Usami Akihiko can you send him along too?"

The nurse's eyes widened. "The Usami Akihiko? You know him?" Her voice dropped to a high pitched whisper. "Is he the father?"

Misaki reddened for a moment and she giggled insanely. "I'll keep a lookout!"

"Th-thank you…I think." The last part was muttered after she left. He rolled onto his side so he had a good view of the door and sighed. Where had Usagi-san gotten to?

…

Akihiko was actually downstairs. Aikawa had arrived and asked how much longer the manuscript would take. She also wanted to check on her favorite part timer.

Akihiko was being a distraction. Misaki desperately needed to sleep now and Aikawa's giggles were forever threatening to wake up the dead let alone an exhausted boy. Finally he ran out of ideas and went for the last defense. "Would you like to see Mikiko?"

Aikawa's eyes lit up as brightly as if she asked her to see an all male orgy. "Yes, I would love to." Akihiko smiled and said, "This way." They headed for the elevator.

They went up to the maternity ward and were directed to the nursery. Looking in the window, Akihiko pointed at the crib where Mikiko lay fast asleep. "That's her."

"Oh wow, she's beautiful," Aikawa murmured in a shockingly quiet tone.

"Yes she is," Akihiko replied.

Aikawa looked at him suspiciously. "You love her already, don't you?"

"Yes," Akihiko replied, looking at back at Aikawa.

"I just, I just didn't think you wanted kids. You always sidestepped questions like that in interviews. I thought you were saving face or something."

Akihiko's amethyst eyes drifted back to Miki-chan. "She is the product of mine and Misaki's love. Regardless of whether I wanted a child or not, I love everything about Misaki and I love what we made together."

Aikawa gasped and suddenly she was back to her usual, bouncy, fangirly self. "That's it! That's what you have to write in your next book!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the next book you have to write. And the best part is that this is so real. This isn't something you can make up even with your brilliant mind. You can actually write true and wondrous feelings you have for your lover and for your child. Doesn't that sound like an amazing novel?"

"Not really," Akihiko replied.

She scoffed. "You know what? You write it and then tell me if you think it's not a waste of time." She smiled more demurely. "Miki-chan got the best of both of you, just so you know."

Akihiko smiled. "That only works if she gets Misaki's demeanor."

"True, yours is quite awful."

"Very true," he replied, unaware that Aikawa was trying to be sarcastic. "Very true."

**...**

**Chapter Thirty**

It was only another day before Nowaki came into Misaki's hospital room to tell him that his theory was correct. "You do contain a uterus and glands capable of producing estrogen on a level appropriate for women as opposed to men. At the same time, your testosterone output is low, though not unhealthily so."

"And that all means?" Misaki asked.

"You are a healthy, young man with some internally female organs."

"Ah," Misaki replied, sagging into his pillows and wishing Usagi-san was here but Aikawa-san had dragged him off for a few hours.

Nowaki offered a sympathetic smile. "It won't really affect you. And I doubt you'll get pregnant again. I took a sample of the fluid in your uterus. Right before you had the baby your testosterone spiked wildly and did damage. I don’t know why."

"I'm alright with that," Misaki sighed. "One child is more than enough for me."

Nowaki's smile turned wistful. Misaki frowned. "Nowaki Sensei, do you want kids?"

"I do. Still, there are far too many children without parents for me to think about figuring out a way to make my own."

"Would you adopt one then?"

"Quite possibly." Nowaki looked distant now. "But not yet. I want to finish my medical training before I can even think about kids and…" He stopped.

In a rare moment, when Misaki realized what Nowaki was thinking, he said aloud, "You don't know if Kamijou Sensei wants children." Misaki's eyes went wide and apologetic. "Oh, sorry, that was rude! Forgive me."

Nowaki shook his head. "It's exactly true. Actually, he seems to hate kids. He couldn't stand me when we first met and I was already seventeen. I doubt he'd be able to tolerate living with a child."

"Nowaki Sensei…" Misaki looked sympathetic but couldn't think of anything else to say.

"No matter." The bright smile was back. "It's a silly idea anyway. Two men can't adopt in Japan."

"There are ways around that though, aren't there?"

"There are a few but like I said, I think it's hopeless." His pager went off and he looked at it. "Oh, excuse me, Misaki-kun."

"Yeah, bye." Misaki stared at the wall. He felt bad for Nowaki, the man positively loved children but was in love with a man who couldn't even stand young adults. They were such polar opposites…and Nowaki Sensei was the one who had to suffer for it.

"Oh," Nowaki was back, "tomorrow, if you desire, you and Mikiko-chan can check out. We just want to keep you one more night for observation."

"Thanks."

Nowaki smiled. "Bye for now."

"Bye."

…

"It's good to be home!" Misaki cried happily as Usagi opened the door for him and Mikiko. "Welcome to your new home, Miki-chan!" The baby gurgled in response and waved the arm she'd managed to work free from the blanket Misaki had wrapped around her. "Doesn't she look adorable?" he asked.

"Of course," Akihiko replied with a smile.

Misaki looked up at him. "Usagi-san, is everything alright?"

Akihiko looked at him with a strange expression. "It's nothing." His mind was clearly elsewhere.

Misaki bit the inside of his cheek. What was wrong? He was about to speak but Akihiko said, "I must show you something."

"What is it?"

"Upstairs. Your room."

Misaki cocked his head to the side but headed toward the staircase. At the top, he walked down to his old bedroom and opened the door. "Oh…Usagi-san, you…" He trailed off, shocked. The room had been redecorated completely. Misaki's bed was gone. In its place was an ornate cradle, carved of beautiful and shining oak. The walls were painted palest pink and several of the Suzuki-san bears had migrated to a corner of this room. They now sat in a very soft pile. "Mikiko-chan, look at what Usa—what your father did for you."

Mikiko's emerald eyes peered around and waved her free arm though she had no real concept of what was happening. Misaki, however, did. He crept forward and carefully lowered the little girl in her new cradle and smiled. "Sleepy time," he whispered. The baby looked up suspiciously. Or so Misaki thought, courtesy of his rather guilty conscience. "I mean it. Sleep." He leaned down and kissed Mikiko's forehead. Then he turned and walked out of the room. On the balcony, he looked at his lover who stood at the top of the steps. "Usagi-san," he whispered.

In the space of a second, Misaki had closed the gap and wrapped his arms fiercely around Usagi's waist. Misaki felt Akihiko's cool hands on his back as he was pulled tighter into the embrace. "I love you, Misaki," Akihiko murmured into the boy's hair.

"I love you too," Misaki whispered, making Akihiko's heart skip a beat. Misaki lifted his head to stare into Akihiko's purple eyes. He stood on his tiptoes and kissed Usagi. Just a light peck on the lips. Before he could pull back more than an inch, the hands on his back snapped up higher and held Misaki still to kiss him again. Misaki felt Akihiko's heat on his lips for just a moment before they were prodded open. It was the first open mouthed kiss Misaki had had in quite awhile. The erratic thumping of his heart made him realize just how much he'd missed this.

And if he had missed it, then Akihiko had probably missed it a great deal more. Misaki shifted his arms, sliding them up around his shoulders, his fingers interlocking. The kiss deepened as Akihiko made a poor attempt to move them towards their bedroom or, at least, a wall. "Misaki," he rasped. "Misaki…"

Misaki whined in response and pulled back to get in a quick breath before Akihiko kissed him again. And again. And again.

**...  
**

**Chapter Thirty-One**

Misaki found himself pressed roughly against a wall; another feeling he was rather shocked to realize he missed. He was pinned between the hard wall and Akihiko's just as hard frame. "Usagi-san," he rasped.

"Misaki…" Akihiko murmured, a breath ghosting over the boy's lips before they were pushed together again. His hands slid from Misaki's shoulders to his chest, grazing his nipples until the fingers came to a rest on top of them. Misaki whimpered softly as Akihiko's fingers flicked the erect points. "Misaki…"

"Nng, stop," he moaned.

"I doubt very much you actually want that," Usagi whispered with a smirk.

"I mean it," Misaki lied. He squirmed for a second and gasped out loud when his nipple was pinched. "Oh!"

Akihiko laughed softly, playfully, and kissed Misaki's jaw and neck then slid lower, biting the younger man's neglected nipple through the fabric of his soft shirt. "You know you love it."

"Ah! Please…"

"Please what?" He bit down harder.

"I…" Misaki trailed off, covering his mouth.

"I love you," he murmured again and bit the other nipple hard, sending shockwaves through his mind.

Misaki couldn't say anything, his eyes wide and filled with water. He choked for a moment and then his legs gave way. He slid to the floor with Akihiko sliding down with him. From this position, though, it was hard for Akihiko to maneuver so he pulled Misaki from the wall and slid him down to the floor. From there, he loomed over him, a tender smile on his face.

"My Misaki," he whispered, sending warm shivers to course through the youth's trembling body. "You're so adorable."

Misaki managed a small scoff and said, "Don't say such things."

"Mm, but they're so true." Akihiko leaned down and kissed his lover long and hard. He lowered himself gently until their hips touched then he ground against them. Misaki whimpered in pleasure as he felt his erection make itself known.

"Mikiko is…just down the…hall," he managed in between kisses and shallow gasps for breath.

"She's probably asleep."

"You don't know that."

"She's not crying is she?"

"No," Misaki said slowly, listening hard.

"Don't worry so much. I've been waiting for so long, my love. Don't deny me." He pressed a kiss to the shallow space between Misaki's collar bone and slender neck.

"Bed then," he finally compromised. "My back is starting to hurt."

Usagi smirked and nodded. He pulled back and scooped Misaki up into his arms. He locked their lips and carried them into his bedroom. He laid Misaki down very gently as opposed to his usual tossing followed abruptly by climbing right on top of him. Akihiko wanted to savor this. He climbed carefully over the boy who stared up at him with tender love radiating from his eyes. Akihiko kissed him once more before helping him to pull off his dark green T-shirt. Misaki flopped back and Akihiko followed.

Misaki whimpered softly when kissed his breast bone before drifting slowly over to a perky nipple. He drifted lower now, pressing soft kisses over the skin of his still slightly swollen stomach. "You're so soft now," Akihiko murmured. He pressed against the squish of his normally taut stomach.

"Stop that," Misaki hissed, swatting at Akihiko's head.

"Why? It's new, different." He licked the flesh. "Delicious.”

"Idiot," Misaki moaned even as he began to arch his hips, asking unintentionally for more. Akihiko unbuttoned Misaki's pants and tugged them and his underwear away.

"Well, this part of you certainly isn't soft," he said with a smirk.

"Nng, stop saying stuff like that…please!"

"Never," Akihiko whispered. Then he ran his tongue from Misaki's base to his tip. Misaki choked back a soft cry. He looked down at his lover as the man's silver blond hair hid his face. He then opened his mouth and took Misaki in.

Starbursts of pleasure radiated, sending electric shocks through the young man's entire body. "Usagi-san, please…"

"Mmm, please what?"

"St—" He changed his mind. "Don't stop. Don't ever stop."

Akihiko stopped. Misaki lifted his head and stared at his lover who stared back, his amethyst eyes wider as Misaki had ever seen them. "What?"

"I…" Akihiko was momentarily speechless. "I am…"

"What?"

Akihiko smiled. "I love you. And also I won't."

"Won't what?"

"Ever stop." Misaki's eyes slid shut in blissful pleasure as Akihiko's mouth closed around him once more. He hadn't felt this good in so long. The pleasure built and built and built and built.

And then it all crashed down in a sweet cascade. Misaki's mouth opened in a silent scream. He couldn't even make a sound. He fell back and stared at the ceiling until Usagi blocked his vision of it. "You look beautiful," he murmured.

"Stupid," Misaki shot back.

"It's not stupid. And it's not finished." He leaned down and kissed him. He felt Akihiko's breath on his face, a hand on his skin, heading along his stomach and down to the crease then in, piercing him. Misaki cried out in Akihiko's mouth.

Akihiko flinched slightly. It really had been too long. Misaki was painfully tight. This would take longer than he could wait.

Misaki neatly solved those problems in a single, rasped word. "Hurry."

Misaki screamed when his lover obliged. Pain erupted through him and the pleasure did little to stop it. "Us-Usagi-san," he choked out.

"Sorry, I love you," Akihiko whispered. He grunted softly as Misaki squeezed him tightly. "Misaki, I love you."

Pressure built and Misaki couldn't take it much longer. He came hard, his eyes opening as wide as his mouth. Then he sagged as Akihiko plunged into him a few more times before coming as well. He flopped onto the boy with a sigh before rolling off him. "I love you," he murmured again. He bowed his head to kiss Misaki's bare shoulder as it bobbed with heaving breaths.

"I…love you…too." Misaki was tired. As soon as blood stopped pumping through his ear drums, he was going to sleep.

Just another…

A squall sounded from the other room.

**…**

**Chapter Thirty Two**

"Oh no," Akihiko murmured.

Misaki was brought immediately back to wakefulness. "Mikiko-chan," he muttered and got up.

"No don't," Usagi muttered.

Misaki tugged out of his lover's grasp. "I gotta check on her."

"Don't say that. Please stay."

"I'll be back." Without further comment, Misaki pulled on a shirt and sweatpants and left the room and headed down the hall to his own room. Mikiko continued to cry when Misaki picked him up. "Shh, now. What's wrong? Are you hungry?"

The baby continued to wail.

"Do you need your diaper changed?" he tried, shifting the baby to sniff at her diaper. He jerked his face back. "Definitely."

Misaki had learned more or less how to change a diaper between books and information sites on the internet but neither of those prepared him for the utter stench of the thing. He gagged and wretched a couple of times before Usagi-san came out to inquire why Misaki was taking so long.

He doubled over and backed away quickly, retreating to his room. Misaki finally managed to get Miki-chan both clean and away from the dirty diaper but he now had a conundrum. The baby was balanced on a changing table that had been one of Usagi-san's many purchases but the garbage can was across the room and the baby was squirming and wriggling in Misaki's grasp. He sighed and set down the diaper, trying to ignore the fumes that were starting to make him rather ill, and quickly put the fresh diaper on, thankfully managing it before the baby could throw everything off. He quickly rocked his daughter before setting her in the crib and going back for the diaper which he quickly deposited in a plastic bag and then into the garbage. Then he opened the windows and fled, leaving the smell to dissipate.

He felt like he needed a shower, and perhaps to burn what little he'd thrown on when he went to check on Miki-chan. He went to the bathroom, stripped down and started to scrub. It was only after he'd climbed into the shower to rinse that he realized he was not alone.

Usagi-san snaked his arms around his lover's waist to run his fingers over Misaki's cock, which perked up with the soft, cool touches. "Usagi-san, stop, we already—"

"We are making up for lost time," Akihiko whispered against Misaki's damp hair.

"Nng, I can't believe…you're so…" he gasped out before he moaned and was unable to form another word.

"Wonderful? Loving? Delicious?" Usagi tried.

"Needy, persistent, troublesome," Misaki shot back. "Don't try to compliment yourse—gah!" Misaki was suddenly flush against a wall, staring up into amethyst eyes as they came close and then went low as Akihiko kissed his collarbone then bit it and licked it, evoking small noises from Misaki.

"Hmm, I can think of a few choice words for you," he replied, kissing down his chest and limning Misaki's still raw nipple. "Tasty, gorgeous, soft, silken—"

"Stop!" Misaki moaned. "Please."

Usagi ignored the youth's protestations. He nipped at the nipple, toying and suckling at it. Misaki squirmed and whimpered at him but his eyes were closed tightly and he was so tweaked out with the pleasure that he couldn't focus on anything other than Akihiko's mouth.

At least, that was how it went until Usagi-san's hands started to wander down his lover's body. Those cool fingers danced over his flushed skin, making him shiver and shake and whimper despite the hot water cascading over them both. "Usa…Usagi-san, please…"

"Is this one feeling lonely?" he asked, regarding Misaki's neglected nipple.

"I—" But it was too late and Akihiko already had his mouth wrapped around it and was teasing it with tongue and teeth. "Nng, ahh."

"You're so good, my love," Usagi-san murmured, his hot breath adding to the pleasure pressing on Misaki's nipple. "Aren't you lovely? You make such a pretty noise."

"Don't say that," Misaki ground out despite the warmth he felt from the words.

"I love you, Misaki," Akihiko replied.

"Usagi-san…gah!" He came. As he shuddered with the orgasm, he wondered how he could still be this sensitive. To come without even being touched down there, with simple kisses and nips and Usagi-san's cool fingers, even after three years was surprising to say the least.

Usagi lifted his head to look down into Misaki's emerald eyes.

And he smirked. "I knew I was good but really, my Misaki."

The boy frowned up at him. "You don't have to gloat."

"Oh I'm not. If I had no self control, I would…orgasm every time I saw you."

Misaki's face glowed insanely red. He smacked Akihiko's arm. "Shut up, asshole," he snapped.

"I love you," Akihiko said yet again.

Misaki frowned and turned away, looking pointedly at the wall of the shower. He couldn't speak yet. The fresh anger interspersed with pleasure and exhaustion and the heat of the shower were all making him dizzy. He swayed and pressed his forehead against the wall which was still cool without water touching it.

"Misaki, are you alright?"

"I'm just ti—" he sagged until his cheek pressed the wall and then he started to slide downward.

"Misaki? Oi, Misaki!"

Misaki opened the eyes he hadn't realized were closed. "Usagi-san?"

"Misaki, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just need to sleep." He yawned and let Akihiko support his weight and scoop him up. He was asleep before the older man had turned the water off and carried him to bed. He stared down at the boy's naked and flushed body on the bed sheets and swallowed hard. Finally, he just kissed Misaki's soft lips then lay down beside him and pulled the sheets over them and wrapped Misaki up in his arms.

And that was how they fell asleep.

**...**

**Chapter Thirty Three**

Misaki woke to the baby screaming in the other room. That was going to get really annoying really fast. It was a good thing he didn't have to work for awhile because this baby was going to take up every last minute of his time.

He got up, pulled on some pants automatically and left Usagi-san's sleeping form behind him. "Hey, sweetie," he cooed as he entered Mikiko's nursery. "Hello." He scooped her out of the cradle and rocked her slightly as she continued to squall. He didn't smell anything so he murmured, "Are you hungry?"

She was and Akihiko, having found his bed devoid of company, found his lover holding the baby girl to his chest. Akihiko smiled slightly, unsure whether to accept the warmth filling him or deal with the jealousy that reared up at the sight of a baby suckling at Misaki's nipple. Part of him knew that was insane but the other part was just the same as it always was. Anyone who touched his Misaki was a threat to their relationship. This was supposed to be different, though. He gritted his teeth at the confusion in his mind.

Misaki noticed him and gave him a soft smile before looking back at Mikiko. "There you go," he whispered. He looked back at Usagi-san. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes." Akihiko decided to try something he'd never been very good at: restraint. "You?"

"Fine." Misaki smiled.

"Good." Then he turned and left, leaving the younger man feeling confused.

Outside, Akihiko went to the office, sat down at his desk and opened his laptop. A blank document was open already as if it had read his mind. He stared at it for a moment then reached out his fingers and began to type.

…

Misaki found he enjoyed taking care of the baby. She was a good baby too. When he started cooking that morning for breakfast, Mikiko-chan sat in another cradle that Usagi-san had ordered and played with a rattle while Misaki puttered around the kitchen and worried about what Usagi-san was doing. He had seemed off that morning and had immediately disappeared into his office. Misaki knew he didn't have a deadline because Aikawa-san wasn't banging down the door so he didn't really know what to make of it all.

Maybe Usagi had read Misaki's mind, though it was more likely that he smelled cooked food, because he was suddenly leaning against the counter. "She likes the rattle."

Misaki nodded and smiled. "She likes everything you got for her."

Usagi smiled slightly and looked down at the baby who looked back at him out of Misaki's bright green eyes. She didn't smile but cocked her head to the side curiously. Akihiko reached out carefully and touched her cheek. She smiled a bit and shook the light green rattle at him. "Hmm," he murmured.

"Is everything alright?" Misaki asked, turning off the burner so he could pay attention to Usagi-san.

Akihiko looked away from the baby. "Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Are you trying to tell me you think something's wrong?"

Misaki backpedalled quickly. "Not at all. Forget I said anything." He turned away as he spoke and started cooking again.

Akihiko went to him and wrapped him in his arms. Misaki sagged in his lover's grasp, feeling instantly reassured. Then Akihiko's hands started south, completely ruining the moment but still very reassuring that Usagi-san was still Usagi-san.

"Get off, I'm trying to cook here."

"I can see that," Akihiko replied even as his hands slid under the hem of Misaki's shirt and raised goosebumps as they moved over the flesh of his belly and up to his chest where he squeezed the swollen mammary glands, making Misaki cry out with a surprising amount of pleasure. He felt himself hardening let out a groan.

"Stop it, not here, not in front of…" Misaki looked over to the baby who couldn't actually see them but could definitely hear them. "Please…"

Akihiko stiffened. Misaki looked up at him with pleading eyes. They were real desperation, not the thing that Akihiko knew he could ignore and get away with when they were finished. He thought about that whole restraint thing again and retracted his hands. Misaki straightened stared at him in surprise. He nodded with an awkward jerk and abruptly left the room.

…

_When a relationship gets hard, you work through it and it gets better. So when a relationship is always hard then what do you do when it gets harder and never gets easier? In fact, the last thing on your mind should be making it harder._

_Morinaga Hirofumi watched his wife Ayako as she nursed their baby. Aya-chan's soft, brown hair fell over her emerald green eyes as she looked down at Mina-chan. She didn't even notice her husband watching them with confused grey eyes._

_He didn't really know what to think. He loved Aya and he loved Mina. So why did he feel so strange? No. He knew the answer to that. Aya had been his entire world. His true love, his reason for living, his everything. From the love they shared to the love they made, everything was about them, together. His parents didn't approve, hers didn't live. His brother desired her and hers was Hirofumi's best friend and the only person in the family who accepted them. Through all the problems, they'd suffered together, they'd only made it just barely through together._

_Now there was a baby girl and their world was no longer just theirs. With the baby, there was warmth because the world was bigger but there was also danger and worry for the baby and for the relationship. He didn't know if the addition of the baby would help or hurt a relationship that had been put to the test so many times before this. He trusted Aya implicitly and had faith in them but the baby changed everything._

_Aya finally noticed him. "Hiro?" she asked, watching him. “Is something wrong?"_

" _No," he lied. "Are you okay?"_

_She smiled softly up at him. "I'm fine."_

" _Good," he replied, sounding awkward. He wanted to touch her, kiss her, caress her but the baby was between them, in her arms, suckling at her breast. There was no place for him there. Unable to take it any longer, he turned and left._

**...  
**

**Chapter Thirty Four**

_ One week later… _

Misaki noticed that he was frustrated seven days after the last time Usagi-san had "attacked" him in the kitchen. Since then, they'd shared kisses, occasional touches and Usagi-san's bed but they hadn't had sex or gotten anywhere near it.

Misaki wasn't used to not having to fight against having sex repeatedly each day so to suddenly not even have Usagi-san approach him for that at all was disconcerting at the least, upsetting at the most. True, Misaki had less time to do things because he had the baby in addition to his usual chores, but his schedule usually had enough time set aside to do everything and dodge or fail to dodge Usagi-san's advances.

It was the seventh day when he realized he wanted the sex. The loss of it was not only making him horny but the need was distracting him from everything else. He couldn't focus unless he was feeding or changing or playing with Miki-chan. If she was asleep or distracted, his thoughts drifted to the office where Usagi-san had been secluded for days on end. He'd gone so far as to call Aikawa-san to find out if he had a deadline but she denied it.

It was the eighth day when Misaki realized what his lover was doing.

Misaki approached the office after putting Mikiko down for her nap and before he could change his mind, he reached out and opened the door. Akihiko was lying on the daybed kept in the small room with one arm wrapped around Suzuki-san while his free hand held a cigarette to his lips. He sat up when Misaki came in and put out the cigarette; a useless gesture as the room stank of old cigarettes.

He looked exhausted. Misaki didn't know why since they went to bed at the same time every night and Misaki was the one who was constantly getting up to look after the baby. He wondered why he hadn't noticed this before.

"What is it?" Usagi asked when Misaki said nothing.

"I…we need to talk."

Akihiko reached out his arms and Misaki went to him with almost no hesitation. "Where's Mikiko?"

"Sleeping."

"Ah, I see." Misaki sat beside him on the daybed and looked up into his purple eyes as he wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"Do you have a deadline that's keeping you up here?"

"No?" Akihiko replied, making it sound like a question.

"Then why do you leave this room so rarely?" Misaki's words spoke of the confusion in his heart.

"I didn't realize I was doing anything strange."

Misaki's nostrils flared. "That's complete crap!" he snapped.

Akihiko's eyes widened at the sudden anger even as Misaki's self control caught up with his mouth and he clamped his lips together. In a quieter tone, he continued, "You never leave this office except the occasional meal and for bed."

"Is that what I'm doing?"

This statement ticked Misaki off so much that he snapped out, "I talked to Usagi-ani on the phone twice this week and you didn't psychically show up and take the phone away either time."

The arm around his shoulders tightened and Misaki found the jealousy he wanted so badly. "Why?"

"He called the apartment and you weren't coming out of your office. He didn't want to talk to you anyway. He wanted to know how Miki-chan was doing." The defensive nature he took on felt good simply because he was so used to it.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you're acting strangely!"

"Then what's normal? What do you want from me?"

"I want things to be the way they were!" Misaki snapped. "I don't want you hiding in your office all day. I want you to be you and that's exactly what you're not doing!"

"Why? The last time I approached you, you completely rejected me." His voice was calm and without the tremor he was fighting against.

"You wanted to do it in the kitchen next to the baby!"

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Well, I happen to think that if I start screaming and whimpering then it might set her off! I don't want to have to stop things midway through to comfort Miki-chan!" Misaki's eyes blazed with irritation.

"So, when you stopped me before it was because—"

His mouth worked and his face burned. "Be-because I didn't want to upset Mikiko enough that we'd have to stop."

"It wasn't because you were worried about traumatizing her?"

Misaki stared at him. "I wasn't worried about that before. I am now, though."

"Really?"

Misaki rolled his eyes and shook his head. "When did you become such an idiot?"

Akihiko smiled. "When I met you."

"Oh please," Misaki muttered in exasperation, starting to look away until Akihiko gripped his chin lightly and pulled him back.

Their eyes met for a moment before Akihiko leaned in and Misaki let his fall shut when their lips met.

Misaki tasted the stale cigarettes on his lover's breath but ignored it when Akihiko pulled him into his lap and ran his hands over his rib cage. "I love you," Akihiko murmured against Misaki. "Misaki, I love you so much."

"I…I love you too!" They kissed fiercely, tongues dancing as Usagi gradually shifted them until Misaki was lying on his back on the daybed with Akihiko on top of him as he drowned in pleasure.

**…**

**Chapter Thirty Five**

Misaki gripped the blanket beneath him tightly as heat swamped his pores and scorched through his entire body. He was bright red all over by the time Usagi-san broke the kiss. He panted loudly and Akihiko smiled sweetly. "You're so beautiful," he murmured against Misaki's lips, sending his lover into a nearly feverish state.

Misaki responded with a shudder and mumbled, "Don't say stuff like that," before he wrapped his arms about Usagi-san's neck and dug his nails into cool fabric. Akihiko obliged the tugging by sitting up and removing the shirt, vest and tie as one. Misaki never saw them hit the floor as he was back to kissing and gripping at Akihiko's shoulders.

Misaki's shirt was next. When Akihiko removed it, he looked down at the boy. His chest was still…well, there was still milk to be fed to Mikiko. Misaki looked down at himself when his lover paused and grimaced. He looked away and said, "I know it's weird. And…if you don't want to do—" He was stopped when Akihiko's tongue brushed over a pert nipple. He actually squealed when Usagi nipped it. Jets of heat sent him spinning madly into oblivion. The rational part of him knew that Akihiko had done this before when he was still pregnant and times after but not since feeding Mikiko had made his nipples so damn tender.

This was…unbelievable. He nearly came right then and there. And again when Akihiko nipped the other one. Akihiko looked down. He couldn't see anything as Misaki had not even made it out of his pants yet but he could tell his lover was close. Misaki was so hot beneath him. He traced his tongue further down the boy's body. It was all so damn warm.

Too warm.

"Shit." Akihiko quickly sat up. Misaki was still panting lustily but there was a desperate edge to it. He was red faced and starting to shiver in the cool air. Akihiko looked closer. Beads of sweat were forming on his forehead. "Misaki, are you alright?"

Misaki was still dizzily thinking of the heat. He couldn't bring himself to answer the soft voice above him, couldn't even hear what was being said. It was just so lovely and hot. He was nearly giddy.

Above him, Akihiko cursed softly and got off the daybed. Misaki lay limply and breathed hard and fast. His chest rose and fell. He was so thin. He'd been so quick to lose the baby weight. It looked like he hadn't been eating at all. Had he gone too far?

"Misaki?" When Misaki didn't respond, he touched the boy's forehead. Misaki leaned into it and blinked open one green eye. Then it closed and he slept.

It took him two days to recover. Nowaki hazarded a guess that it was exhaustion coupled with malnutrition. Furthermore, Akihiko was under strict orders to watch him eat at every meal. He took it seriously, not even teasing the boy at the table or while he cooked. He made the decision that Misaki's health was more important than kitchen sex.

That said, he made it about four days before he had Misaki under him once again. This time he avoided Misaki's nipples and restrained himself.

Misaki didn't like this very much. He'd been shocked the first time but still, he wanted things back to normal. He was the one who was supposed to be doing the worrying, not anyone else. Certainly not Usagi-san. Well, he'd figure something out.

…

" _ She's not eating." _

_ Hirofumi stared at the doctor who'd been looking after his wife after she passed out in the middle of the living room. _

_ The doctor continued when Hiro said nothing. "Unfortunately, it may be a symptom of postpartum depression. The attachment a mother develops to a child in the womb can become physical. She may need help. Watch her for any of the other symptoms." _

" _ If it's not postpartum?" Hiro asked. _

_ The doctor shrugged. "It's possible. Sometimes women try to lose baby weight by not eating properly. If that is the case, it might still be postpartum or just self-esteem issues. In any case, you must watch her. For everyone's sake." _

_ Hiro nodded wordlessly and left. Out of the doctor's sight, he stopped and ran a hand through his hair. What could he do if Aya came apart at the seams? He was barely holding it together, it felt like. He couldn't do this without her and she was the emotionally strong one! He was completely useless in that regard. _

_ He bit his lip and straightened. He would do what he had to if it killed him. _

**...**

**Chapter Thirty Six**

_ Two weeks later… (Mikiko about four weeks old now) _

"Misaki-kun, have you thought about naming godparents for Mikiko-chan?" Aikawa asked from the gallery where she appeared to lounge but in reality was holding the office door shut with her foot and bracing herself against the balcony railing.

Below her, Misaki looked up from where he sat nursing Mikiko. He'd long since recovered from the malnutrition and, though he was still watched at mealtimes, the kitchen foreplay had resumed…if at a more sedate pace. "Huh, I haven't. I guess Takahiro and Manami-san would be one pair."

"What about the other?"

"I don't know. I'd have to talk to Usagi-san about that."

Aikawa laughed. "That will have to wait, then." She kicked the door violently and yelled, "Isn't that right, Sensei?"

Misaki didn't think he would answer but even if he did, Misaki couldn't hear. "In any case, thanks for bringing it up, Aikawa-san."

"Of course, Mikiko-chan wouldn't be able to survive if anything happened to the two of you."

Misaki smirked. He doubted anything bad would happen to the two of them at once given that these days, they rarely left the house and if Misaki did leave, he took Mikiko with him for fear that Usagi-san might set fire to the kitchen again. Breaking glasses was traumatic enough because Misaki had quickly become leery of Miki-chan spontaneously learning to crawl in a moment when Misaki was cleaning up shattered glass.

Later that day, he broached the subject of Godparents to his lover. "Usagi-san?"

Akihiko looked up from the baby he was attempting to bounce on his knee. He was doing it too gently and Mikiko was getting fussy because the motion was too slow and awkward. "You have to do it faster," Misaki sighed, distracted.

"Won't that hurt her?"

"Nah." Misaki sat on the couch beside Usagi and took the little girl from him. "Here, like this." He bounced the baby, using the bounce of his leg as a tempo. The scrunched face that came shortly before crying dropped away and her head lolled a bit with the motion as she relaxed. Both his parents smiled.

"What did you want to talk about before?" Usagi asked, suddenly remembering.

"What? Oh, I wanted to know who should be Godparents. I know Niisan and Manami-nee would be happy to do it but sometimes there are four of them and I was wondering if there was anyone you might want to ask."

"Oh, well, I suppose I could ask Hiroki."

Misaki looked at him in surprise, tearing his eyes from the baby's. "Really?"

"From what little I know of his lover—"

"That isn't fabricated in those nasty novels," Misaki interrupted.

Akihiko continued as if he hadn't. "—he really wants kids. Hiroki has no particularly strong feelings for children but I'm sure that he'll, at the very least, acquiesce to Dr. Kusama."

"Well," Misaki said carefully. "If they say yes, I'm more than happy to have them as Godparents for Miki-chan."

Akihiko smiled slightly. "I'll give Hiroki a call. Or just show up in his office for no apparent reason."

Misaki's brows drew together. "Why would you do that?"

Usagi-san shrugged. "He doesn't seem to mind."

…

Hiroki sneezed suddenly and violently.

"Someone's talking about you," Nowaki said with a smile.

"The horror," Hiroki said dryly. To a normal person, he would have said, "Don't be an idiot," but lately he was starting to realize that such retorts were useless when they were addressed to his lover.

To drive the point home, Nowaki added, "I bet they're saying something nice."

"Not if they know me," Hiroki replied grimly.

"Oh, don't say that." Nowaki crossed to the table where the other man sat reviewing student essays and wrapped his arms around him.

"Leggo, I'm trying to work."

Nowaki huffed and pressed a kiss/lick/bite at the bend of Hiro-san's neck and shoulder. It sent shivers rippling through the smaller man and caused him to regret his words. Nowaki started to release him but he leaned into the loosening embrace, startling both of them.

Nowaki recovered first and gripped Hiroki's chin, twisting it until their lips met. The other hand trailed lines of heat down his lover's chest and beneath his belt. He cringed in pleasure as Nowaki gripped him through his briefs and gasped. Nowaki took full advantage of the opened mouth, thrusting his tongue inside. Hiroki kissed him back just as hard and shifted so his hand could grasp Nowaki's shoulder.

Then the phone rang.

"No-Nowaki…phone."

"Ignore it," was the breathy reply.

"Could be…work—nng!" he moaned as Nowaki's grip suddenly tightened on him.

"Doesn't matter." Nowaki broke away from Hiro-san's lips and began nipping along his jaw, heading for his very sensitive ear.

"No!" Hiroki gasped and managed somehow to free himself. Slightly bedraggled, he got to his feet and crossed to the phone.

"Hello?"

"It's Akihiko."

…More of Akihiko's story...

_ Hirofumi was beginning to discover that the impossibility of having this family was growing less and less. He could now feel slightly more helpful as a parent thanks to Aya-chan's amazing ability to put him at ease and include him in decisions about the baby. _

_ When he asked why she cared for his opinion, she laughed and said, "Because you made this baby too. Just because you're the father doesn't mean you get to dodge your responsibility." _

_ Hirofumi could only stare at her in silence. He didn't have the faintest idea of what kind of decision he should make. Babies were so easily affected by everything. What if he made the wrong decision and Aya went along with it? He was utterly terrified. _

_ Aya seemed to read his nervousness in his dark eyes. "What is it?" she asked. _

_ He couldn't answer. He didn't want her to know his private shame, his inability to risk making the wrong choice. Instead, he turned away and retreated, leaving Ayako and their child alone in the living room. In the kitchen, he leaned against the counter and covered his face with his large hand. _

**...**

**Chapter Thirty Seven**

"Akihiko?" Hiroki clutched the phone tightly as Nowaki went completely still and stiff. He didn't have to see to know that the mood and Nowaki's cheerful attitude were both ruined.

"I need a favor."

"A favor?" Hiroki seemed unable to do anything other than parrot Akihiko's words back at him.

"Yes. A favor."

"What is it?"

Akihiko was silent for a moment. "I don't want to ask over the phone. Could we meet?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess." _He wants to meet,_ he mouthed at Nowaki who got even stiffer. "Where?"

Akihiko considered. "Are you at the school, today?"

"It's Sunday. Why the hell would I be at school?"

"Is it?" Akihiko frowned. "Well, how about the café across from the flower shop?"

"Right." Hiroki pulled out of Nowaki's hold. "When?"

"Twenty minutes?"

"Is it that important?" At his best friend's silence he sighed. "Fine, sure, whatever. See you then."

"Bring your lover with you."

"What? Why—?" But Akihiko had already hung up the phone.

"What is it?" Nowaki asked.

"He wants you to come too."

"He does?" Nowaki's blue eyes widened slightly.

"Yep. Right now. Let's go." Hiroki set down the phone and started looking for his jacket.

"So, we're just gonna go, now?"

Hiroki huffed at Nowaki's obstinance. "If you'd rather I go on my own..."

Nowaki was the first out the door.

…

The café was nearly empty when Hiroki and Nowaki arrived there. Hiroki fully expected Akihiko to be late but he'd seen the red sports car parked street-side. Still, it could've been someone else's until he saw his friend sitting in a booth at the far end of the room with three cups of coffee on the table.

He held up a hand and gestured them over. They approached. "Hey." He took a sip of coffee and waited for them to sit.

Hiroki plunked down and scooted over vinyl. Nowaki also sat, very stiffly. "What's up?" he asked, without preempt.

Akihiko replied in the same fashion. "Misaki asked me about Godparents today. Takahiro and his wife are probably going to do it but Misaki asked if I wanted someone as well. So I'm asking you two."

This was not at all what they had expected. Hiroki was just staring in shock. Nowaki's annoyed expression had vanished completely under the onslaught of warm emotions that came with anything involving children. He actually smiled a bit before he managed to clamp it down, remembering who they were dealing with. Still, Misaki wasn't a bad kid. A bit young and careless to have gotten himself sucked into Usami's world, but that didn't make him anything like Akihiko, who made Hiroki cry.

"What about your brother? Or your father?" Hiroki asked finally.

Akihiko snorted. "I don't want them anywhere near Miki-chan. Or Misaki, for that matter." The horror of Haruhiko or his father being, in any way, in charge of his daughter's life swamped him. The derision fell under that fright. He would never entrust her to them. Ever. Especially if her personality was anything like Misaki's. She could be manipulated against him.

Not that Misaki had ever done that but it had come close but she was just a baby. And what if she grew to hate him and what if—

"Akihiko!" Hiroki interrupted.

His purple eyes moved to meet brown ones. "What?"

"You're looking kinda sick."

"Oh, sorry." Akihiko looked down at his coffee.

"You okay?" Hiroki asked.

"I'm…worrying." Akihiko muttered. That made the other men start. Akihiko had never been big on sharing. Today though…

It was Nowaki who actually asked, "Has something happened? Is Mikiko-chan—"

"She's fine."

"The brat?"

"He's fine too."

They were all silent for a moment before it started to eat at Hiroki and he spat in frustration, "Then what is it?"

Akihiko shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure. I suddenly find myself worrying over the strangest things."

Nowaki really smiled this time. "It's because of Mikiko."

"What?"

"Having a child changes your perception of the world," Nowaki explained. "It…alters you. It doesn't mean you're necessarily a different person," Hiroki winced, "but it makes you worry about things that didn't bother you before and important things of the past are less so now."

"I only cared about Misaki before Mikiko. I still care just as much about him."

Nowaki tilted his head in admission. Hiroki took a turn. "Look at the other thing. You dislike your brother but you never really cared about what he was doing or where he was."

"I still don't."

Hiroki rolled his eyes. "Of course you do. You don't want him around Mikiko or the brat so you have to know at least when he's in Tokyo. Or don't you pay attention to that?"

Hiroki was right. The problem was that both Haruhiko and Fuyuhiko had been spending more time in the city than they used to. It was irksome. Even worse, he did want to know where they were to ensure that they weren't near Misaki or their daughter.

Their daughter…

Mikiko…

Everything had become about her without his even realizing it.

**...**

**Chapter Thirty Eight**

"You're zoning out again," Hiroki said dully.

"You're right," Akihiko replied. "Both of you."

Nowaki and Hiroki shared a look between them. Akihiko seemed almost like a different person. He seemed…confused, unsure. It was like when Misaki did something that made him feel like he was losing him.

Hiroki was the first to react, blustering, "Of course we're right."

Akihiko offered them a small smile. "So will you act as godparents?"

They looked at each other again. Nowaki's eyes were indecisive. On the one hand, It meant interaction with kids. On the other, it was Usami-san's kid. The fact that it was a kid won out. He nodded at his Hiro-san. "You sure?" Hiroki asked. Nowaki nodded.

"We'll do it," Hiroki said.

Akihiko nodded and got up. "I'll tell Misaki."

"Is that it?" Hiroki asked gruffly.

Akihiko nodded, picked up his coffee and left abruptly. The other two sat still for a moment and then Nowaki got up and sat on the other side of the table. He grabbed his untouched coffee and sipped. It was strong and bitter, the way he liked it during a double shift. Hiroki also sipped his. He shuddered and reached for the cream.

"I wonder why he asked us," Nowaki murmured.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm just wondering. So he doesn't get along with his brother. Isn't there anyone other than your childhood friend?"

"You don't think I'm good enough to look after Akihiko's kid if he randomly dies?" Hiroki looked hurt. Very hurt. Nowaki flinched and reached across the table to take his hand.

"No, I didn't mean that."

It was too late. Hiroki was sufficiently annoyed. He ignored Nowaki's comfort, staring fixedly at the drink before him. Nowaki opened his mouth to say more but his pager buzzed loudly. He glanced down, reaching for it with his free hand. "They want me at the hospital."

Hiroki nodded. "You have to go."

"Hiro-san," he started.

Hiroki shook his head. "Just go."

Nowaki swiftly leaned across the table and kissed his lover before getting up. Hiroki sputtered but didn't start howling furiously about public displays of affection. Nowaki realized then that his error was far more grievous than he'd thought. _Dammit._

…

Misaki was pacing back and forth, bouncing Mikiko as she squalled fitfully. It was time for her nap but she just wasn't having any of it. It didn't help that Misaki was starting to feel tired too. The sooner she slept, the sooner he could. On top of that, Usagi-san had gone out without saying anything and he wasn't answering his phone.

He considered sitting down to rock the baby to sleep but sitting was too close to laying and laying was too close to sleeping. So he was pacing. Only way to stay awake.

That and Miki's screeching.

…

Akihiko was planning to just go back to go back home—his phone was dead—but the conversation had set him on edge. He suddenly needed to make sure his brother and father were where they were supposed to be. This was a secret he'd been keeping from everyone for the past few weeks, since Mikiko was born, actually. He'd paid off a couple of secretaries in his father's corporation to pass him their itineraries for whenever they were in Japan, specifically Tokyo.

He tried to ignore the fact that he was quickly turning into his father who kept constant watch of his sons' movements. It had never bothered him before because he rarely left the area. But now he wanted to reverse it and make sure Fuyuhiko and Haruhiko stayed well away from him and his family.

His family…it had a nice ring to it.

Especially since his old family was a big, overdramatic mess. Everyone was constantly trying to manipulate everybody else and, more importantly, they were forever after Misaki. Haruhiko wanted his heart, Fuyuhiko wanted him out of the picture altogether.

Now though, things were different. The two still wanted to manipulate the situation but it was harder with Mikiko in the picture and Akihiko quickly realized that he needed to be on his game. He had to play every bit as dirty as they did or he'd be alone and Mikiko and possibly Misaki would be trapped in the main house and he'd never see them again.

The paranoia was beginning to cripple him. He didn't want to be like his father, constantly worrying about what everyone else was doing and completely ignoring his kids when they were right in front of him. He would make the effort to pay attention to Misaki and Mikiko more than he did the other Usamis. Otherwise, he'd be no better than they were.

… _Another excerpt of Akihiko's newest novel..._

_Ayako was annoyed. As much as she loved her family, Hirofumi was being useless. Sure he worked and brought in money and made sure she was okay but he was obsessed with keeping her and their daughter safe. She didn't entirely understand what was going on but apparently he worried that someone might try to take them away from him._

_She wished he would understand that she could take care of herself and that whatever was causing this fear was probably irrational. She didn't know because he wouldn't tell her._

" _It's annoying," she confessed to her friend, Risa Senpai. "I wish he'd either tell me what's going on or knock it off."_

_Risa smiled teasingly. "He loves you, right? He's also a man and men are stupid when they're in love."_

" _We're stupid in love too," Ayako shot back._

" _Of course. That's how you ended up with Morinaga-san."_

_Aya laughed. "That's so mean."_

" _And it's why I'm not with him." Risa's smile turned a bit wistful._

_Aya frowned. "I'm sorry."_

" _For what? It was years ago. I've long since forgotten."_

_Aya said nothing. She didn't know what she'd do if she lost him. And she might if he didn't stop being a great big idiot. If only he could work it out._

**…**

**Chapter Thirty Nine**

_Three Months Later_ …

Misaki was quietly losing his mind. Something had happened. He wasn't sure what it was, but Usagi-san wanted Misaki to stay in the house as much as possible. He didn't want Mikiko to leave the apartment at all. Misaki had resisted the urge to bark at his lover until now.

Now was enough. More than enough. He was absolutely not doing this unless he knew why. And even then maybe not. Aikawa-san hadn't been here today but Usagi was still in his office. Miki-chan was asleep so Misaki took advantage. He went upstairs and poked his head into Miki's bedroom. Then he pulled the door shut and made his way to the master bedroom. He checked to make sure Usagi-san wasn't actually sleeping. He wasn't and Misaki went at last to the office. He knocked.

It went unanswered. He knocked again. His fury built up and up. He was pissed as hell when he finally snapped and threw open the door with as much force as his small frame could muster. "Usagi-san!" he roared.

Akihiko turned from the desk to look at him. His amethyst eyes were faded to a dull brownish purple. It stopped Misaki short. He didn't like that look on his face. It was the kind of look that made him want to comfort Usagi-san. But no. He needed to stay angry. It was not only for him but for Mikiko too.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I…I want to know what's going on."

"What are you talking about?"

"I haven't left the penthouse in days. Miki hasn't left at all except for checkups with Kusama Sensei."

"So?"

"So, I want to leave."

"Why?"

Misaki opened his mouth and closed it again. At last, he said, "To see my friends, my brother, go to the store. I just wanna do something."

Akihiko just looked at him for a moment. "No."

Misaki stomped his foot in frustration. It was damned annoying. He had to get out. He'd make Usagi see that if it was the last thing he'd ever do. "You bastard! You can't do this."

"Misaki…"

"No! I'm going to take Miki-chan to see his cousin. Are you coming or not?"

Akihiko hesitated but nodded. "I'll get the car."

Misaki sighed. "Thank you." He retreated to change and collect his daughter.

Usagi drummed his fingers on the desk absently for a moment, then spun to read a few sheets of paper. His father's and brother's daily itineraries. They were both occupied today, it seemed. Misaki and Mikiko would be fine. Especially if he and Takahiro were with them. So why was he so nervous?

The stress was beginning to take a toll on him. His blood pressure was up and he was focusing even less on work. In fact, the only time he felt calm these days was when he held Misaki or Mikiko close. It was hard. But he didn't want to lose either of them.

He couldn't because it would probably kill him.

... _Excerpt from Akihiko's Novel..._

_Secrets compounding on secrets. This was no way to live. Hirofumi knew it, but he just couldn't stop. His worries grew day by day. Ayako was angry all the time now. Hiro was being paranoid and hardly letting her leave the house without him. He didn't know what she did when he worked but he hoped she was sticking to his wishes and not leaving the house._

_She had, at one point, listened to him. Then she started going stir crazy. She wasn't working right now but her few friends were readily available. After the second week of seclusion, she started leaving the house with little Minako in tow._

_She felt slightly guilty doing this but it was Hiro's own damn fault. He only wanted to worry about his stupid secrets. Personally, she thought it might have to do with Takafumi-san, Hiro's older brother. The man was decidedly odd, but Aya was fairly certain that it was because he had been raised in a messed up, manipulative family. Hiro had come out of it with a few quirks but he'd separated himself from the family early on. Takafumi had not, trying to become just like their father. It had worked out exactly like that, further separating Hiro from his family._

_The unfortunate truth was that, now that Hiro had something he needed to protect: his small, sweet family, it was becoming apparent just how much his family was rubbing off on him._

**...**

**Chapter Forty**

_Usagi-san was right. How the hell is that even possible?_ Similar thoughts raced through the young man's mind before he shoved them all back and asked, "…Usami-san?"

Misaki and Usami Haruhiko stared at each other, as the architect loomed over his brother's lover, where he sat on the subway seat. Instinct taking over, he clutched Mikiko tightly to him and she squalled softly. "What are you doing here?"

It had been three days since Misaki had stopped staying in the apartment all the time, as per Usagi's instruction. He'd been in and out every day and Usagi had done nothing to stop him. It was odd, Usagi was usually pretty stubborn about such things, but he ignored it. He was just happy his lover wasn't being weird anymore. Well, no weirder than usual.

Now he just had to deal with the man's older brother's weirdness. It was a bit much since he'd been planning to meet with Takatsuki-kun later and he was weird enough and, more importantly, he didn't even know about Mikiko since it had been so long since they'd spent any time together. 

The out-of-the-blue meeting had caused Misaki mild amusement as he pictured the look on Takatsuki's face when he saw his Senpai carting a kid around. For all he was gay and in love with a man nearly twice his age, the other boy was pretty straight-laced.

"I'm on my way to a meeting," Haruhiko replied to the question Misaki had asked. "There was car trouble and this was faster than waiting for another." He looked down at the baby. "Is this…"

"Ah, yes." Misaki allowed Japanese politeness to take control now. "This is Usami Mikiko. Your niece."

"Mikiko." The word rolled off his lips as he stared down at the baby who blinked up at him and poked out her tongue. A slight heat flooded his cheeks.

Misaki smiled slightly. "Miki-chan, this is your uncle Haruhiko-san." He paused for a moment then, hesitantly, held out the baby. The part of his mind that sounded suspiciously like Akihiko railed against this idea, but Miki-chan might save the Usami family! That was what Misaki wished for, anyway.

Usagi-ani tentatively reached out and took her. He held her awkwardly for a moment before settling her in the crook of his arm. She babbled softly. "Shh," he hushed her before looking back at Misaki. "She's beautiful. Just like you."

Misaki blushed and looked away. "She looks more like your brother, except for the eyes."

Usagi-ani quirked his lips suddenly. "Let us pray she does not inherit his personality."

Misaki grimaced. Akihiko had been antisocial through his childhood and then obsessively in love with someone he'd never have and then a man-child, spoiling himself rotten with intermittent moments of working himself to death after deadlines were missed. Raising a child like that would be a scary predicament indeed.

Mikiko started to squirm and Haruhiko handed her back before he dropped her. "I'll make sure she doesn't end up with Usagi-san's worst traits. But he's not all bad," Misaki defended him. "And," he said to Mikiko, "I won't let Usagi-san spoil you, either. No I won't." Miki seemed to pout at that and Misaki laughed.

A voice informed him of his stop and he quickly stood, reaching for his bag. "Getting off, already?" Haruhiko asked.

"Yep. I'm meeting a friend from high school for lunch. He's studying law at Teito University."

"Hmm, sounds like Akihiko. I'll see you."

"Huh, it sort of does." The train stopped and Misaki hurried to the doors and slipped out, leaving Usagi-ani behind. He started to cross the station but stopped dead.

Takatsuki Shinobu: well off, spent high school in love with someone unattainable, is obsessed with love, his sister was once involved with his lover, he's studying law at Teito and does well there, spent a chunk of his life overseas, stubborn as a mule…

_Oh hell. Takatsuki-kun is a younger version of Usagi-san. The only difference is that he isn't a writer._ How had he never noticed this before? Misaki shuddered and tried not to think about it anymore. It was just too damn weird. He hurried to the stairs that led to the street above.

Back on the train, Haruhiko sat in Misaki's vacated chair and pulled out his cell phone. He pressed speed dial and lifted the phone to his ear. "Son," Fuyuhiko's voice answered on the second ring.

"I saw them."

"And?"

Haruhiko sighed internally. "And they seem fine."

"Are you certain? According to hospital records, Takahashi-kun was brought in for malnutrition a while back." Haruhiko grimaced. He'd asked for those files privately. Either his father had done the same or gotten a copy from the ones he'd asked for. Damn it. Much as he wanted to be involved in Misaki-kun's life, he wanted his father as far from it as possible.

"Yes. Misaki-san is his usual self and Mikiko-chan is…" he trailed off.

"What?"

"She's perfect." He didn't elaborate. He wasn't sure he could.

Fuyuhiko leaned back in his office chair and stared vaguely out the window. "I guess I'm just worried about my first grandchild. You know, you could get going on that too. It seems so odd for Akihiko to beat you at something like this. Especially given his…situation."

Haruhiko bit back a comment he knew better than to make, even if it would make him feel better. "Sir, I'll be getting off at the stop following Teito University. Please send the car there."

"Of course."

"Do you think Akihiko will be aware I've made contact with Misaki?"

"Only if the boy tells him. I doubt he will; Takahashi never tells him anything unnecessary. I think he worries too much for Akihiko's wellbeing. It works to our advantage."

"Yes," was all Haruhiko could manage.

"And we've been sticking to our itineraries lately so he'll not know you diverged unless Takahashi tells him. Come back to the office as soon as you can."

"Yes, sir."

Haruhiko's phone snapped shut.

**...**

**Chapter Forty One**

Shinobu's face was absolutely priceless. He'd been sitting in a café just off campus, waiting for Misaki when a pretty young thing with a very young baby came in. She turned and spotted Shinobu and waved. It was freaking Takahashi Senpai! How could he have been mistaken? True, Senpai had always been a bit effeminate. He was so skinny and when he wasn't trying to make his hair look like a yankee's, it was rather girly. The baby wasn't helping.

Misaki explained everything that had happened in the last year or so since they'd seen each other. He did it all with the tiniest smirk on his face. He was glad to get the jump on somebody, anybody, in regards to this…fiasco.

It also helped that Mikiko was so damn cute that Shinobu couldn't even get worked up. He did get a bit jealous though. She sat on Misaki's lap while he tried to keep her balanced, eat and talk at the same time. If he'd thought it through, he would've brought the portable cradle but instead, he'd only brought part of the diaper bag supplies, which he'd shoved roughly into his regular bag.

Shinobu was making things more difficult because he had a lot of questions. The last being: "How do you feed her?"

That dropped the smile right off Misaki's lips. "I…well…"

"Tell me," Shinobu murmured eagerly.

Misaki grimaced and looked around to make sure no one was looking at them. Then he tugged the loose hoodie he'd taken to wearing out flat over his chest.

Shinobu stared, mouth open, at what he could only call boobs. Misaki rolled his emerald eyes and adjusted the fabric to hide them once more. At last, Shinobu closed his mouth and sat back on his chair. "Damn," he whispered. "Can I do that?"

Misaki jerked. "What?"

"Well," Shinobu said, sounding almost reasonable, "Miyagi's always liked women. He's not even a little bit gay at all. It's just me…and that other teacher but I've warned him off. Anyway, if I had a rack and everything else…it's the best of both worlds." Misaki looked like he might choke any moment. "And maybe I can get pregnant too."

"No," Misaki replied in a choked whisper.

"Why not?"

"Why not," Misaki muttered, "why not. Well! Perhaps it's because men can't get pregnant!"

Shinobu pointed blatantly at Mikiko.

"Don't point!" Misaki snapped. "And I'm special. It won't work for you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" After a beat, Misaki continued, "Look, just give it a rest, okay? It's not gonna happen."

Shinobu huffed. "Fine."

…

Akihiko was getting very nervous. A quick check had revealed that his brother was not where he was supposed to be. He called Misaki a couple of times but got nowhere. It was annoying to say the least. Panic-inducing at most. More importantly, his half-brother wasn't where he was supposed to be. Well, he was but he'd been significantly late getting there.

Something was off. He didn't like it.

Fortunately, perhaps for both of them, Misaki chose that moment to return. Mikiko was fast asleep in his very cramped arms. He smiled at Akihiko and kicked off his shoes. He'd line them up after he put Miki down in her bassinet. And after he stretched a bit.

"Misaki, welcome home." Usagi-san tried to smile but was still tense.

"I'm back," he replied.

"Are you alright?"

Misaki strolled past them and set the baby down. He stretched, flexed his shoulders and bent his arms swiftly back and forth until they stopped aching. "I'm fine. I stupidly forgot to bring the carriage or the portable cradle so I had to carry Miki-chan the entire time." Misaki laughed sadly. "But Takatsuki-kun's face made it worth it." He sat on the couch and Usagi sat beside him, gently leaning against his shoulder.

"Did anything else happen?" Akihiko pried.

Misaki hesitated, his smile freezing in place. "What do you mean?"

"Just anything."

Misaki huffed. "Are you psychic now?" Usagi just waited. "Fine, yes. I bumped into Usagi-ani on the subway."

Akihiko's lips tightened perceptively. "I knew it."

"How did you know it?" Misaki growled. "Are you keeping tabs on me because I demanded to leave the apartment?" Akihiko shook his head. "Well then what?"

He hesitated. Under normal circumstances, he was so honest with Misaki that it annoyed the boy. This though... Well, he'd been keeping Misaki in the dark about this for months. But perhaps he should tell him. "I'm not keeping tabs on you. I'm keeping them on Haruhiko and my father."

"W-what?" Misaki choked. "Why?"

"Because they're manipulative and conniving and both of them want us apart." He said it so matter of factly that Misaki couldn't argue. "I don't want to be caught off guard when they make their move."

Misaki shuddered. It was true he could fight back when he faced down the Usami family but with Mikiko in the picture, he could see why his lover was nervous about the whole thing. He would do anything to protect their daughter.

But Usagi-chichi might just do anything to mess with them.

Usagi-ani though… "I don't think you brother will do anything."

"What makes you say that?"

Misaki slouched against him, thinking. "I'm not entirely sure," he murmured, "but he seemed to be…normal isn't the right word but it's the best I can come up with. We just talked, he met Mikiko and then I got off the train. He didn't even try to follow me. I think he's changed."

Akihiko pulled Misaki close for a deep kiss that Misaki only struggled with for a moment. When they broke apart, Akihiko whispered, "I love you."

Misaki sighed. "But you don't believe me."

"My brother hasn't changed his mind about anything since the day I met him. I doubt he ever will."

"So you say," Misaki replied. "But I don't care. I think he can change. Your father too."

**...**

**Chapter Forty Two**

It was six months before Fuyuhiko made his move.

In that time, Mikiko had grown. Doubled in size, according to Misaki, the one who had to carry her around all the time. Well, he'd always been prone to exaggeration. It was something Akihiko found amusing. He found it amusing right up until the day that Misaki suggested that he should carry her around nonstop for a week.

His arms hadn't cramped so badly since the first time he'd blown off a story and Aikawa had duct taped his wrists to the desk so all he could do was type.

That had been five days before he received a summons. Usami Fuyuhiko requested a private meeting with him as soon as possible. At the bottom, the secretary currently in his employ to report Fuyuhiko's movements had written in a missive that warned of dire consequences should he refuse. In the old days, Akihiko would have just scoffed. What could his father do to him that he hadn't already done or tried to do?

But that was before Misaki. Before Mikiko. She was still so vulnerable. It left him open to attack in a way he very much did not like.

Nevertheless, he gave himself five days to prepare.

It might as well have been five minutes for all the good it did, he reflected, as he marched into Usami Fuyuhiko's office with all the bravado of a ticked off teenager.

Fuyuhiko raised an eyebrow as his son slammed the door and leaned against it with his arms crossed. "Please sit," he murmured.

It was amazing how Akihiko still looked as though he was pouting, despite the fact that his face was completely expressionless. He stalked to the available chair and slouched into it. After a moment of silence, he said stiffly, "Father."

"Son," Fuyuhiko retorted.

Silence reigned again before the younger man growled, "I'm here, what do you want?"

The other man adjusted his glasses. "I think we both know what I want."

Akihiko was silent in the chair. He just waited because he wasn't going to indulge his father or anyone else.

Fuyuhiko sighed. "It's been quite a long time since we last saw each other."

"Face to face, anyway," Akihiko countered.

Fuyuhiko's posture stiffened. "Yes," he said austerely. "I know you've been monitoring my movements as much as I monitor yours." Akihiko tilted his head and the man continued. "I want to meet my granddaughter."

"No." With that, Akihiko got up and started to leave his father's office.

"Akihiko," Akihiko paused, "you can't keep avoiding it."

Akihiko's mouth twitched. "Watch me," he snapped, and stormed out.

He didn't make it out of the supposedly empty secretary's office before he was stopped again. "Akihiko!"

He turned to see his elder brother leaning against the wall. "What?"

"You have to be careful," Haruhiko murmured, his face completely expressionless.

Akihiko gritted his teeth. "Are you threatening me?" he asked with deadly calm.

"Warning, only," Haruhiko replied. He pushed off the wall and approached slowly, as though his brother were a feral dog.

"Against you?" he asked. "Against Father? Yeah, I got that already." He turned to leave once more.

Haruhiko stopped him with a rarer than rare touch on the shoulder. "I'm on your side, in this. If Father gets his hands on Mikiko-chan—"

"He won't!" Akihiko spat, turning to face his brother with purple eyes blazing,

"Look at you," Haruhiko said, still blank-faced. "Keep acting on emotions and you really will lose her."

"That's what you think," Akihiko growled. "I've gotten this far, I can still keep going."

A strange light glittered, turning the brunet's flat, brown eyes into something wicked. "Before that child was born, you barely acknowledged me, let alone spoke to me. Now you stand here, arguing."

Akihiko stared at him in undisguised horror. He turned and fled.

_Excerpt from Akihiko's novel in progress…_

_How does someone so paranoid enjoy any sort of life? He doesn't. He focuses on things that shouldn't concern him. And yet, they do. He can't help worrying. He wants to take his family and run. Run as far as he can. Nothing feels safe anymore._

_What if his wife and child are stolen from him while he sleeps?_

_What if she has enough and leaves him?_

_What if he clings too hard and chokes his love to death?_

_Too many what ifs!_

_Hirofumi slams a fist into a wall and reaches for his drink. He can't take it anymore. At this rate, he really will hurt Aya and that isn't at all what he wants._

_So what can he do or say to make it all better?_

_A tear runs down his face, leaving a burning hot trace down his cheek. He knocks back the rest of the sake and heads upstairs to peer in at his little one. She sleeps easily. Aya must be asleep as well. It's only when the child sleeps that she does. He debates joining her. He doesn't want to wake her up. Her nerves are so frayed already._

_She is so frustrated. With him, with their baby. He knows it and he knows that acting on every paranoid thought is only making things worse. So why on Earth can't he stop?_

_Because he is afraid. So damned afraid._

_He moves to their open bedroom door and looks in. There is a lump in the middle of the bed. He watches for the longest time. "I'm sorry," he whispers, wishing he could say it to her face. "So sorry." He slides down the wall and stares blankly at the opposite one._

_Inside, Ayako takes a long shuddering breath, determined not to make a sound. Crying would only make things worse after all. Hirofumi was so stressed and upset that the last thing he needs is a wife who can't deal with her own problems._

**...**

**Chapter Forty Three**

"Usagi-san," Misaki murmured as he made breakfast. "Can I ask you about something?"

Akihiko, who was dangling a neon-colored rattle in front of Mikiko's face, looked up from the table. "What is it?" As he spoke, Miki stretched up and latched her mouth around the toy. Akihiko looked back as it was tugged from his fingertips and smiled indulgently.

"Well," Misaki shifted awkwardly, the same way he always did when he was nervous, "I thought it might be time to bring Miki-chan to meet Usagi-chichi."

Akihiko's stomach fell and kept right on falling. "Why?" he asked.

"Why do you think?" Misaki asked, his typical exasperation flaring up. He swallowed when he saw his lover's face, which was a cross between horror and fury. "He’s your family and Usagi-chichi said—" He stopped a breath too late, realizing his mistake.

Usagi's face turned thunderous. "You've been speaking to my father?" he asked in a very dangerous tone.

The brunet let out a very nervous chuckle. "He called one day when you were at a meeting. He just wanted to make sure we were all doing okay and that we didn't need anything."

"And what did you say?"

Now Misaki scoffed. "I'm not an idiot. I've lived with you long enough to know that nothing from an Usami comes without a price."

Akihiko winced and Misaki backpedalled. "I just meant that whenever I want something, you'll give it to me and then want to do _it_. Usagi-ani wants attention and Usagi-chichi wants the world and then some." Misaki came out with a traditional Japanese breakfast on two trays. He set one in front of Akihiko and the other beside Mikiko so he could reach her and his food. "I told him we were fine and didn't need anything."

Usagi nodded, but pain touched his eyes. He didn't like the fact that Misaki thought of their sexual activities as payment for gifts or even things needed around the apartment. It didn't sit well with him at all.

"The point is," Misaki continued as he nibbled at rice, "that Usagi-chichi is Miki-chan's grandfather. She only has one of those and I'd like it if she could interact with him. Without," he added, "her father getting all up in arms about it."

Akihiko stared into Misaki's emerald eyes for the longest time. "You've already arranged it, haven't you," he murmured.

Misaki licked his lips. "This Thursday."

Akihiko stood abruptly, leaving his breakfast untouched.

"Usagi-san!" Misaki snapped. The other man spun and the brunet recoiled.

There was real anger in his lover's face. It burned his lavender eyes to a deep violet and turned down the corners of his mouth. Misaki gulped and managed to squeak, "It's already done."

"Misaki, this is the worst idea you've ever had. I mean it. This will go horribly wrong."

"You can't know that, for sure," Misaki argued.

"Yes I do!" Usagi yelled. "You're being careless and an idiot if you think this will work."

Misaki's eyes narrowed. "You think I'm the idiot, oh Great Lord Usami Bakahiko?" he snapped out. "You're so damn scared of what your family's gonna do to ours that you don't even think about us half the time. You sit in your office and write all the time and when you do come down, you play with Miki-chan and eat. We don't talk, we don't go out, you don't even chase me around anymore. We haven't had sex in a month!" Misaki's face was bright pink but he was too angry to care.

"Well apparently, the only reason you let me have sex with you is when I get something for you. Maybe you haven't asked something of me in the last month!" Usagi sniped back. "That's all I'm here for, right? To get things for you and Mikiko?"

"Don't you dare drag her into this!" Misaki howled. Angry tears leaked from his eyes and Miki promptly began to sob too. Her shrieks filled the room and Akihiko took the opportunity to flee to his office. He didn't want to fight anymore and, at the rate he was going, he didn't know what other nasty and untrue things would make their way to his mouth.

Misaki pulled Mikiko out of her high chair and clutched her to his chest, patting her back and quieting her screams as he fought the desperate urge to join her.

A small part of his mind said that things had been going so well.

But they hadn't. Things had been spiraling out of control the last few months. Misaki was so tired and the hormones didn't help the situation. Usagi-san wasn't helping either. What the hell was the matter with him? Couldn't he understand that his lover was an emotional wreck? No, no he couldn't. He had to keep up this obsessive need to keep Mikiko and Misaki as far from this family as possible. Misaki just wanted a little stability in his life.

He whimpered softly and looked up the closed office door. He wanted to talk to somebody. Takatsuki was out. They'd become friendlier as Misaki struggled to deal with a small child and Akihiko's emotional absence from his life, but the other boy was in Australia, visiting his friends.

It would have to be Kusama, then. He only hoped that the doctor would be at the hospital, and available when he got there.

**...**

**Chapter Forty Four**

Misaki found Nowaki in the children's ward, having just come off a thirty minute nap, midway through a thirty-six hour shift. He spent twenty minutes checking on patients and passing information to other doctors while Misaki watched before taking him down to the cafeteria. They were situated and Miki was settled in a high chair before they said anything beyond a polite greeting. Misaki poked idly at his food for a moment, then said, "I think Usagi-san and I might break up."

Nowaki jerked in surprise. "Why?" he asked, examining the young man before him. He looked exhausted and weary and so very lost.

"We fight all the time now. He won't touch me, he obsesses over his family's movements and I can't take it anymore." Misaki swallowed. "He loves Miki-chan, I know that. And, I think he still loves me."

"I sense a But coming," Nowaki said when the other man fell silent.

Misaki nodded. "But I don't think he's still _in_ love with me."

"I don't know Usami-san all that well, but from what Hiro-san has told me, he loves you with everything he has. As for his family, I'm afraid I don't understand. I've seen his mansion when I went to Hiro-san's house, but that's all I know."

Misaki took a deep breath and poured out everything he had ever learned about the Usami family. From the scandal of Haruhiko's parentage, to Fuyuhiko's manipulations and through the fiasco that was Usagi-san's cousins, Kaoruko and Mizuki. When he was done, he took another long inhale and huffed it out, slumping in the chair.

Nowaki nodded at last and said, "I understand."

Misaki sat up. "You do?" he asked in astonishment.

"Yes, though you have to look at it from Usami-chichiue's point of view. Four people in the next generation. Four options for the next chairman of the Usami Group. One is a girl and pastry chef who refuses to marry in any arranged fashion. She is out immediately. One has become dangerously Westernized, by the way you describe him and he is more interested in being with Kaoruko-san. Usami-san's older brother wants to be an architect and has no interest in the politics that he would have to manipulate in order to control the Usami Group. That leaves Usami-san, himself. Fiction novelist, attention-starved, man child, gay, all things that wouldn't be good for the Chairman's position." Nowaki took a bite of food and swallowed, giving himself a moment to think through his next statement.

"And yet, he is passionate, manipulative, cold, exceedingly polite when he wants to be, and can work a room, make people want to listen to him. He can play the political game that the others cannot. Those aspects make him the right choice. And, judging by everything you've just told me, his father has tried his hardest to eradicate the four things that have no place in his world. Tried and failed." He stared deep into Misaki's eyes, making him blink away sudden blurriness. "And I'm willing to bet that's thanks to you. Usami-san wants you and the things that don't make him a good leader for the company, far more than the money he throws around to make problems go away."

"But he's changing," Misaki said, his voice little more than a whisper. "The more he fights his father, the more he becomes like him."

"Have you tried telling him that?"

"Not in so many words," Misaki said dryly. He splayed his fingers in Mikiko's hair. She looked at him with her wide, vibrant eyes and almost smiled at him. He closed his eyes and focused on breathing. "Sensei," he murmured, "I want him back the way he was, as much as I hate to say it." He blushed, faintly. "If that doesn't happen, I don't know what I'm going to do, but it won't be staying there, I won't be able to stand it."

"You've left before," Nowaki replied. "And you were miserable. Is that misery better than the one you're in now?"

Misaki shook his head, but it wasn't a negative. He didn't know, not for sure. But he did know that now he needed to talk to Usagi-san, see if their relationship could be fixed. Find the fissure—gaping maw was a better metaphor—between them and bridge it until it closed once more.

If the maw wasn't permanent.

Nowaki's pager buzzed and he excused himself. Misaki nodded his thanks for lunch and collected his girl and diaper bag before heading home. The office door was firmly shut when he arrived. He fed Mikiko. He'd noticed definite shrinkage in his chest. Perhaps it was time to start weaning her off of breast milk. It would certainly help him get his hormones in check if he was no longer producing the damn stuff. Miki yawned, interrupting his thoughts. He set her gently on the floor and pulled his shirt on. He was adjusting the hem when he paused, looked down, and stripped it back off. Usagi-san might be more amenable to his wishes if he had no shirt on.

He turned violently pink at the very thought and yanked the shirt on once more. Mikiko, thinking this was some sort of deranged game, tugged ineffectually at her onesie until Misaki, fully clothed and seriously considering putting on something with longer sleeves, opened it up, put on a fresh diaper and closed it, before scooping her up to put her in her cradle upstairs.

Once she was settled, he made sure the monitor was functional and then headed out, closing the door softly. It took only a moment to reach Usagi's office, but he stood outside it for what felt like an age. At last, he knocked.

"Come in," his lover called, without any sort of inflection.

Misaki opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind him. "We need to talk."

Usagi turned from the computer, looking haggard and drained and very unshaven. Misaki had seen him only a few hours ago, how had he not noticed that Usagi-san seemed just as messed up as he was?

"I suppose we do," Akihiko replied. "I suppose we do."

**...**

**Chapter Forty Five**

The two lovers stared at each other for several long seconds before Misaki cracked. "Do you want some coffee?" he asked, green eyes staring at the floor as he half-turned away, ready to bolt.

"No," was all Usagi said in reply.

Misaki stilled, not even breathing. It wasn't until Usagi's bare feet came toe to toe with his own that he realized that the man had left his seat. His chin was lifted by cool fingers. Akihiko's eyes were terrified as they looked into Misaki's nervous ones. Then something shifted in them. Resignation. And Misaki didn't want that. He'd seen that look only once before and it was when he left to visit his brother in Osaka, years ago when they first started living together. Akihiko had been working up the courage to let him go after that.

_Is he afraid I'm going to break up with him?_ Misaki wondered in horror. No, that wasn't it at all. If anything, he ought to apologize for not understanding the pressure Usagi had to deal with all the time. Nowaki's explanation, that Usagi was the only potential heir with all of the qualities necessary to avoid running the Usami Group into the ground, had forced him to understand far more than he had before.

One thing at a time, though. First, he had to assuage Usagi-san's fears. He leaned up and kissed the older man. It was the gentlest of kisses, the barest of contacts, but it eased the terror in Akhiko's eyes. They kissed again, a little harder, before Misaki broke away and began to speak, his thoughts clearer than they had ever been.

"Usagi-san," then he hesitated, swallowed, "no, Akihiko." He took a deep breath. "I talked to Kusama Sensei and he helped me to understand the stress you're under with your father. He-he's a stubborn man and he wants an heir that can play the game as well as he does. I never looked past the surface of your personality in that regard. I know you have a head for politics and for working a room, I've seen it, but I never really applied it to running a company because I know you would have hated doing something like that. I should have known that you worry that Usagi-chichi could stoop to the levels of hurting Miki-chan and I to get to you. It's all part of the game, after all. So I understand."

Misaki's mouth worked for a moment as he formed the next, much harder part of his argument. "But I can take care of myself. And I can damn well protect Mikiko. We can't spend the rest of our lives worrying about what Usagi-chichi might do to us."

When Akihiko remained silent, Misaki licked his pink lips and whispered, "You once said you trusted me."

Usagi-san nodded mutely.

_Here goes nothing…_ "Now I need you to _believe_ me. Believe that I will be able to hold my own, that I don't need you to protect me all the time. I love you, I trust you and I believe in you. Can you do the same for me?"

"You're not leaving?" Akihiko asked.

Misaki shook his head. "No. Never again. No matter what." He remembered leaving, that day in Osaka, when he thought that being around, being in love, was detrimental to his lover's wellbeing. He almost laughed at the realization that he really was bad for Usagi-san exactly the way Usagi-chichi said. But they had a daughter. It was different now. Everything had changed.

"All right," Usagi murmured. "I believe you."

"So you'll stop obsessing over him and your brother?" There was hope in his tone and it made Usagi chuckle humorlessly.

"I didn't know you knew," he replied, dryly.

Misaki blinked. "Of course I knew. I talked to Aikawa-san about lightening your schedule because you seemed frantic and stressed all the time. Imagine my surprise when I found out you'd taken time off from your serials and monthly articles to work on "special projects"."

"I'm sorry." Akihiko felt guilt rise up in his gut, guilt he had been feeling ever since he began to follow Haruhiko of Fuyuhiko around. He should let go of it all. The question was, could he do it?

He'd have to. Absolutely. He reached out and gently pulled the much smaller man into his embrace. Misaki's hands came up immediately and gripped the fabric of his shirt. He sniffed loudly and started crying into Akihiko's shirt. The cries turned into full-blown sobs and his knees buckled so that he was only being held up by Usagi's arms.

Akihiko let him cry until he ran out of tears. When he swallowed the last of his hiccups and looked up, he found himself curled in Akihiko's lap on the daybed. He considered staying put, but in the end, he sat up and scrubbed at his eyes. "Sorry," he rasped, stretching out his stiff muscles. "Damn hormones."

"That didn't have anything to do with hormones," Akihiko told him. "You needed to cry. You did it, and we can move forward."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do you need to cry?"

Usagi shrugged, leaned over and gently kissed Misaki. "I just need you. Only you and nothing else. I don't need to cry when I have you."

"Good, because I don't ever want to see you cry again."

"No," Usagi whispered. "No way."

They sat together in silence for a long moment before Usagi's phone rang. He reached out and picked it up. It was Fuyuhiko's secretary. A twitch of lips was the only giveaway that he was already facing what Misaki wanted him to let go of.

He let the phone go to voicemail. If it was extremely important, he could deal with it. But not right now. Right now, he had a young man to seduce and a short time to do it, given the amount of time Mikiko had been quietly not in the room. "Misaki," he said in a low voice.

That was all it took. Misaki was so starved for attention from his partner that his name on Usagi's lips was all he needed. He lunged forward, desperation in every line of his body. They kissed hard, passionately and quickly.

"No time, Miki-chan will wake soon."

"Probably," Usagi replied, already unbuttoning his lover's pants. "What do you suggest?"

Misaki opened his mouth to say exactly what was on his mind, then snapped it shut and turned an interesting shade of pink. Usagi smirked and gripped Misaki inside his pants, drawing out a needy whimper. "Well?"

"Sk-skip the foreplay," he choked out. "I need you now."

This was apparently either the wrong thing to say or the best possible thing ever. Either way, it caused Akihiko to stop dead. Misaki groaned and flopped back on the daybed and waited for Usagi to snap out of it.

Then Miki started to cry and it made Misaki want to cry too. He got up, leaving Akihiko frozen and went to look after their girl.

**....**

**Chapter Forty Six**

Misaki returned exactly five minutes later, smelling of baby powder, and carrying a freshly diapered baby. She babbled softly as she took in the new surroundings. Misaki wasn't certain the tiny baby had ever even been in Usagi-san's office. He was less pleased to see said man listening to a voicemail. He snapped the phone shut as Misaki stood before him. "May I see your phone?" he asked, making his tone as light as possible. Akihiko handed over the phone. The number was unlisted, after all.

Misaki took it in his free hand and then proffered the baby. Akihiko took her immediately. Misaki swiftly removed the back of the phone and extracted the battery before trying to hand it back. Usagi, however, was still awkwardly holding his daughter with both hands outstretched. Misaki rolled his eyes and sat beside him, pocketing the battery and setting the phone aside. "She's not going to break if you hold her close," he murmured.

Akihiko glanced over at his lover and then at their child and then stiffly pulled her close, trying to think about how long it had been since he'd held his Mikiko for longer than it took Misaki to settle or use the bathroom. He'd been so busy. So foolish. In his need to protect them, he'd forgotten to cherish them, something he'd been doing to a less than willing Misaki for years. Gods, what was wrong with him?

Mikiko gurgled as she inhaled his scent and closed her eyes. Misaki smiled and leaned against Usagi's shoulder. He didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until Mikiko became fussy from being still too long and Akihiko's shoulder was very gently shifting as though trying to avoid jostling him. He sat up, instead, and rubbed sleep from his eyes. "Mmm," he mumbled, looking at a more comfortably positioned baby in the crook of Akihiko's other arm, despite the fact that her face was pink and she looked seconds from squalling at them. "I'll take her. She's probably hungry."

"If you must," Usagi replied, holding her out. "Are you feeling alright?"

Misaki frowned as he took the baby girl into his arms and considered rucking up his shirt right here or fleeing in embarrassment to the kitchen. "I'm fine. Why?"

"Because I'm a moron who hasn't been paying attention to you."

To his surprise, Misaki smirked sheepishly. "Is that an apology?"

"Merely an observation. Though an incredibly accurate one."

"I see." Miki was not going to hold off screeching until Misaki could make it downstairs, so he raised his shirt and firmly attached her to a nipple. "So does this mean you're going to be more attentive?" There was a catch 22 somewhere, but his present neediness drowned out any disposition.

Akihiko didn't answer. In fact, he was pointedly staring at the back of Miki's head. Misaki waved at him but he was frozen. Misaki glanced down, then back up, then down again. Then his eyes snapped up. "Oh, please!" he ground out. "There is absolutely nothing you could possibly find sex-sexual about this!" His mild pleasure at getting that sentence out with only a single stutter was buried under exasperation. Between the mild pain that was _NOT_ arousing in the slightest and Akihiko's stupid face, he wondered how this had become his life.

It was another half hour, during which he worked on his novel before Misaki returned with only a baby monitor in hand. "I think she's down for a few hours, at least."

A smirk played on Akihiko's lips. "Does this mean I can start being more attentive right now?"

Misaki swallowed and blushed. "I suppose."

Akihiko stood and caught his lover up in a searing kiss that reduced Misaki's legs to jelly. He was lowered back onto the daybed and as kisses were pressed across his face and neck and he struggled with untucking the back of Usagi's vest and shirt to get at skin that was warmer at the base of his spine than anywhere else but his chest and hot cock when he could bring himself to touch and taste.

Akihiko shuddered under his tentative touch and his eyes seemed to glow violet as they peered down at Misaki. He licked his lips and slid down, only briefly mourning the loss of Misaki's fingers. They weren't forgotten though as they twisted in his hair and he swiftly unbuttoned Misaki's jeans, freeing him. His tongue raced up the pulsing vein and Misaki whimpered loudly. Fingers gripped even harder and Usagi's mouth rose to the tip and flicked the slit just once before engulfing him.

One hand disappeared as Misaki reached to smother another cry. Usagi still heard his muffled name and brought the boy gasping and choking before he could say anything else.

… _Excerpt from Akihiko's novel-in-progress…_

" _You're such an idiot!" Aya tells Hirofumi plaintively. Trapped between her and the baby he's holding, he can only regret what he's done over the last few months. "A giant idiot."_

" _I know," he says, not even trying to deny it. He can't, in any case._

" _A really, really, really giant idiot," she says, but her voice is cracking and her beautiful green eyes fill with liquid._

" _I know," Hirofumi replies. He swallows and holds out his free arm. She licks her lips and barrels forward, falling against his chest, her flushed, hot and damp cheeks press against him and their baby. "Really," she grumbles, "massive, humongous."_

_He would laugh if this weren't a moment of epiphany for him and acceptance for her and a stepping stone for both of them to propel them forward. Hirofumi closes his eyes and clutches his wife and child to him. He'll find other ways to protect them from others and from himself._

**...**

**Chapter Forty Seven**

The day of Usagi-chichi's visit dawned bright and shiny. Akihiko glowered at it. Why couldn't it be dark and stormy like any proper day of evil descending?

Misaki noted and understood the glower. He carved the morning's sausages into octopi. Akihiko was briefly amused, but it didn't quite assuage his dourness. He picked at them and then handed a bit to Mikiko.

"Don't do that," Misaki chided, even as the girl swallowed it eagerly. "She's too young."

Usagi scowled and handed her a small rattle, which also went straight into her mouth. He smiled. Actually smiled. Misaki noticed and hid his own. When had he last seen an innocent smile on his lover's face? Long, so long. Misaki licked his lips to smother an even brighter grin as he watched Akihiko eat one-handed and tug at the rattle locked behind Miki-chan's gums.

He disappeared up the stairs to gather laundry and stopped last in the office to pick up last night's shirt...and pants...and underwear. He wondered idly how Akihiko always kept so much of his clothing on while he lost his almost immediately. He needed to learn how to undo buttons under the pressure of lust and sweet kisses and big cool hands and―he needed to stop thinking about that right now. He noticed the laptop was turned on and open to long lines of text. Frowning, he reached out to close it when a line caught his eye.

_How do I make her happy when I am not, she is not and our child is not? What will become of us when the danger I fear and she scoffs at comes to bear? Can I save us, or will she?_

Misaki frowned and set down the laundry before sitting in Usagi's swivel chair. This must be an actual project. A serious one that had nothing to do with his BL stories. One that would probably win another prestigious award. Highlighting the section so he could find it again, Misaki scrolled back to the beginning and began to read.

It was the story of a young couple with an unplanned pregnancy, familial struggles and the passion and love the main characters had for one another went unnoticed by both parties, though, Usagi had captured the stress and need that the miscommunication put on the marriage and the mother while the father buried himself in trying to avoid complications.

"This is about us," Misaki murmured. While the BL stories about the two of them were fiction loosely based on true moments between them as well as fantasies concocted by Aikawa-san, this amplified the bad parts of their relationship far more than the oversimplified, loving relationship that was portrayed elsewhere.

This was real. This was how Usagi really felt. He knew Misaki loved him but he knew it in a clinical way. It was a fact. The emotional part of Usagi questioned the love. He knew it was there but not the why, the how. Tears sprang in his eyes as he flew through the pages. Everything that Misaki wondered about was here in Aya's words, in Hirofumi's thoughts and desires. Akihio had spilled everything onto the pages of his fiction without saying a word of it to the person who truly needed to hear it.

He sat back and scrubbed his eyes. He couldn't go down like this. Not today. Today, he had to be strong and ready to deal with any potential fallout to come from the meeting with Usagi-chichi.

…

When he went back downstairs, laundry in hand, Usagi-san's plate was empty and the man had their daughter balanced on his stomach while he lounged on the couch. She sat with a toy in either hand and they bounced on her tiny legs and on Akihiko's chest. "Are you alright?" he asked, looking over.

"Fine," Misaki replied, trying to sound light. "There was a lot of laundry… _everywhere_."

Usagi smirked and tilted his head back to Mikiko, who watched them with a bright light in her eyes. She dropped her toys and reached for Misaki, but her father caught her up before she could topple to the ground. Her face turned bright pink and she let out a wail. Misaki let the laundry fall and he hurried over, but Akihiko stayed him with a raised hand. "Do the laundry, I'll take care of her."

"But you've been at it all morning. I can do the laundry later."

"No," Usagi replied. "I got it."

A feeling Misaki couldn't quite place rose in his chest and he nodded, picking up the basket. Usagi sat up, holding the struggling and squalling baby. "Stop that," he told her and turned her to face him. She hesitated, but it didn't last long. She screamed again and tears poured from hazy, red eyes. Akihiko grimaced and tucked her into his shoulder. He patted her back and rocked slowly back and forth. He wanted to talk to her, but he couldn't think of anything and reaching for a book might make things worse.

Then it hit him. "When I met your daddy," he started softly against her hair, "he was studying for his exams. His brother is my best friend and he suggested me as a tutor. I never expected him to actually come and he was frustrating and beautiful and wouldn't let me rest. It wasn't love at first sight though. I was just supposed to help him get into school because helping him would help your Uncle Takahiro." He paused and a smirk lit his eyes. "Takahiro-Ojii, it makes him sound old. Then again, Mahiro makes Misaki into Misaki-Ojii." 

He started to laugh and Mikiko's sobs began to lessen. "When I found out that Takahiro was getting married, I felt my heart shatter and your daddy couldn't stand it. He dragged me out onto the street and cried for me when I could barely do it for myself. In an instant, I was free of an unrequited love I knew would never be returned. He freed me and chained me again at the same time. Still, it wasn't until I thought he might leave me that I realized my affection for him was love. It was so fierce that I knew that I couldn't tie him to me unwillingly. I would let him go.

"Then he came back and I knew I would never love anyone else again." He swallowed and tightened his grip on the youngster in his arms. "Then you came along and I was proved wrong. We've survived everything that's happened thus far, but it's so fragile now." Miki had stopped crying and he pulled her off his shoulder. "You're going to be what saves us now. I know it."

Mikiko just closed her eyes and reached for his neck, and he let her wrap around him.

**...**

**Chapter Forty Eight**

Usami Fuyuhiko arrived promptly at one o'clock that afternoon. His eyes went quickly from his son, who stood tensely in the entranceway to the living room and it's chaos of children's toys. "Son," he acknowledged.

"Father," Akihiko replied tightly. "Misaki is making tea."

"And my granddaughter?"

"In the playpen. Please, come in." He stepped aside with a posture that said he'd rather do anything else. Fuyuhiko ignored it and bent to remove his shoes. A pair of slippers awaited him, despite the fact that Akihiko always wore shoes and Misaki wore socks in the winter or went barefoot in the summer.

He slid them on as his son closed the door and headed down the hall. The playpen was situated between the two couches where a tiny girl with wispy blonde hair dozed on a bunch of pillows. "Well, I'm glad you've decided to spend your money on someone other than yourself."

Akihiko stiffened infinitesimally before brushing it off. "Well, she is my progeny after all."

"Yes, your progeny," he sneered ever so slightly.

"If you've nothing nice to say, the door is still where it was when you came in."

Fuyuhiko's eyebrows went up. It seemed his boy had developed more of a backbone of late. "I mean no disrespect to you, your daughter or your lover." He glanced around when Misaki, having heard nothing, came in with tea. "Good afternoon, Takahashi-kun."

"Ah, yes, good afternoon," Misaki said with a bright smile while internally saying, _don't babble, don't babble, don't babble!_ "How are you?"

"I'm very well, thank you. And yourself?"

"Quite well," Misaki replied, pouring the tea and going over to the playpen. He scooped up the baby, who'd been completely ignoring everything around her. The girl squeaked in surprise. "Here, this is Mikiko. Miki-chan, this is your illustrious grandfather. And he's the only one you get, so you'd best not spit up on his nice suit jacket." Then he plopped her right into Fuyuhiko's lap.

The man's hands gripped Mikiko automatically. She looked up at him with bright green eyes. "Hello," he murmured down at her, trying to remember if he had held his younger son at any point after Akihiko was out of diapers. It was almost thirty years, but it was much like riding a bike. One never forgot. He shifted her into a better hold, with only one arm, leaving him a free hand to wiggle in front of her face. She reached up and grabbed, sticking one of his fingers straight into her mouth.

This garnered three very different reactions. Misaki winced and clapped a hand to his face. Akihiko swallowed and fought laughter so hard that his shoulders shook almost violently. Fuyuhiko, though, he smirked. "You're just like your father." He looked over at her parents. "Do you know, the first time I held you, you did the exact same thing?

Usagi stared at his father. No, he had most certainly not known that. A rather vindictive part of him had always, rather cruelly, thought his father had never held him at all.

Misaki's eyes sparkled with humor. "Really?"

Fuyuhiko eyed him. "My first meeting with my son ended with him biting me as hard as he could without teeth and this surprises you?"

Misaki began to snicker now. "You're right." He glanced at his lover, who had calmed a bit, just watched the two. They were getting along far too well for his liking, but…but there was nothing he could do. Besides, Misaki would think this camaraderie was brilliant.

He swallowed tightly. "She is your granddaughter, she knows how to respond to you."

"Ah, but she's not trying to inflict pain on me at the moment." He gently retrieved his finger and pressed it teasingly to her nose when she made another grab for it. "You're a clever beauty, aren't you?" he asked her. She just made another grab for him. When she missed, her lips puckered and her eyes squinched shut. She inhaled loudly, mouth wide, and Fuyuhiko popped his finger back into her mouth. Her jaw locked on and she gurgled softly.

Misaki and Akihiko looked at each other. This was something he had not seen coming. Even Misaki hadn't thought there would be this easy connection between Mikiko and her grandfather. Even Akihiko could see it.

_This is good,_ Misaki decided.

_This is not good,_ Akihiko decided.

Clearly, they were doomed to have this argument yet again, but Misaki would probably win. Akihiko knew he would cave, just like he always did.

And by this point, he wasn't sure he didn't want to.

**…**

**Chapter Forty Nine**

"This tea is excellent, Takahashi-kun."

"Ah, it's nothing." Misaki hid his blush behind a sip from his own glass. The three adults were sitting on the two couches while Mikiko continued to sit in Fuyuhiko's lap. He was making the best of it, artfully balancing the wisp of a girl in the crook of his arm and propped on one knee, his thumb in her mouth, while the other delicately held a teacup.

Akihiko was silently flummoxed. He honestly didn't know what to think. At first, he wondered if his father had done this for him or his half-brother and, having already had that confirmed, wondered what had happened to change him.

Fortunately, Misaki didn't have any reason not to ask. "Did you spend a lot of time playing with…Usa-with Akihiko and Haruhiko-san when they were young?"

Miki gurgled and scraped her gums along Fuyuhiko's thumb, giving him a moment's distraction to think. Finally, he went with the truth. "Perhaps not as much as I should have."

Usagi-san snorted but Fuyuhiko continued without flinching. "My father had lost interest in the company, preferring to spend his earnings, as well as those monies that were not his, on his hobbies. When he retired, three months after Akihiko was born, it fell to me to salvage and rebuild the company. I'll admit that I was not exactly focused on raising my children."

Akihiko's face was carefully blank. Misaki's, however, was laden with sympathy. "Work can't replace family," he murmured.

Fuyuhiko looked down at the child on his lap. "No," he said softly.

Misaki swallowed hard and opened his mouth. He hadn't told Akihiko anything about this but the way the girl and Usagi-chichi responded to each other had cemented his plan. "Usami-san," he started, trying his hardest not to stutter. "I am planning to enroll in classes next semester. Obviously Akihiko cannot spend all of his time watching Mikiko so I was wondering if you would be willing to maybe, sort of, kinda take her on play dates, occasionally, or something." If he put one more adverb in that sentence, it would probably set a record.

Father and son looked at Misaki with stunned looks that were so similar, it rather frightened the younger man. "Sometimes I forget you two are related," he said out loud.

Looks of matching disgust replaced the stunned ones as they glared at each other and then looked away, screwing up their still matching and perfectly in sync faces. Misaki hid his smile with yet another sip of tea.

"Perhaps a trip to the eye doctor would not go amiss," Usagi grumbled. Misaki elbowed him.

Akihiko elbowed him back, making the tea slosh dangerously. Misaki went scarlet and glared.

"Yes, young Mikiko-chan, those are your parents. Brace yourself." Akihiko's gaze snapped to his father and Misaki started to snicker. He'd never seen this side of Usagi-chichi before, but he liked it. He needed children in his life, it seemed.

"So play dates, then?" Misaki reiterated.

"I would be delighted." Fuyuhiko offered a small smile and Misaki grinned brightly back, his eyes lighting up.

Usagi scoffed but didn't argue. He didn't think he'd win this one.

Then again, if his father could change, perhaps he could too. He scoffed to himself and sipped tea. As if.

**Author's Notes (Dated some time in May 2016)**

**Hi guys, I have a confession to make. This is, more or less, the end of the story. I am out of my own ideas and, in the end, I'm no longer motivated to work on this story. I haven't read or watched** **_Junjou Romantica_ ** **in years and, in the almost six years since I started writing this story, I have changed completely. I went to college, I got a grown up job, I went through the highest joys in my life and the deepest points of depression.**

**I loved writing this story, but my liveliness in this fandom has faded to obscurity. There will be an epilogue set in the future with Miki having wrapped everyone around here tiny little fingers, but that isn't written yet.**

**Chapter Fifty: Epilogue: Snapshots of a Life**

**Author’s Note (Dated January 24, 2018)**

**I promised an epilogue in *winces* May 2016. My style has changed so much that I'm just gonna do a few snapshots of life and end it. I'm sorry for dragging this out, but, hey, at least it's done!**

_Age 2_

Usagi’s book one an award. He and Misaki managed to have a massive fight about it that ended with Misaki snapping “If it’s so damned hard to talk to me, then write a freaking note and leave it for me to read!”

Two weeks later, Misaki had nine notes with his lover’s concerns and professions of love tucked into a zippered pocket of his messenger bag.

_Age 5_

Mikiko was precocious, prone to sleeping late, and obsessed with giant teddy bears.

Basically Usagi-san, in female child format.

Akihiko did absolutely nothing to encourage this, according to him.

Misaki could barely get her to her bed because her floor was every bit as much a see of stuff as Usagi’s had been before Misaki had started cleaning it. He would have cleaned this room too, except that Miki-chan cried if he so much as put one toy on a shelf.

_Age 8_

Misaki and Akihiko broke up. There had been anger and regret on both sides and betrayal-fueled arguments where Akihiko snapped that Misaki had promised he'd never leave again.

But there was too much happening between them for either to be rational anymore.

Misaki went to live with his brother in Osaka for nearly a month, having taken a leave of absence from work. Mikiko shuffled back and forth on the train until, in a desperate attempt to make her parents love each other again, she went north, to Hokkaido, instead of south. Akihiko and Misaki had both chased her down, she was milling around the Hokkaido station when the next train pulled in and deposited both of them in front of her.

They talked out their differences and Misaki returned home.

_Age 13_

Mikiko had some very uncomfortable questions about her birth. Usagi-san laid it out in blunt terms while Misaki tried to suffocate his very red face with a large Suzuki-san.

_Age 14_

Mikiko's first boyfriend left the apartment crying while Mikiko screamed at her parents about scaring people off.

(This repeated four times before she just stopped bringing them around.)

_Age 17_

They actually liked this one.

_Age 18_

Mikiko brought home a girl because, why not, she's flexible.

Akihiko shrugged.

Misaki asked if the girlfriend wanted tea.

Things won't work out with this one, much like everyone else, but she knows her parents won't care.

That's all that matters.

**The End**


End file.
